case of the ex

This photo of exes Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake exchanging formalities at the "Shrek the Third" premiere got me thinking about the age-old question of whether it's possible to be friends with an ex.

Some logic says sure...if somebody was a big enough part of your life for a long enough time, there's no reason to let a little failed romantic chemistry get in the way of a lifelong friendship. Which I think is fair thinking, as long as you ended things amicably.

But I think the issue puts you on a very slippery slope, because one person's feelings are almost always going to be stronger than the other's. And while those feelings are often masked in "just saying hi" and "I'm so happy for you," they still exist...and often contribute to a false hope in rekindling something beyond friendship.

And also...if someone lied or cheated on you, he or she isn't a friend in the first place. Reader: I don't even know you, but I'm guessing there are approximately 3,421 people interested in hanging out with you. So why make it such a priority to pursue a friendship with the one person who isn't worth it?

Thoughts?

never again?

A great weekend overall, but I could have done without the free tequila shot I got at The Uptown Tap. I spent a good portion of Sunday morning regretting that one, and it reminded me of celebrating my 21st birthday back in Ripon, Wisc., where my first shot of the night was a mixture of tequila and Tabasco sauce. Vomit.

Anyway, I chose to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with the $10 downtown bar crawl. All in all, it was a good choice, although the crowds weren't as large as what we saw on St. Patty's Day. The $10 cover got us into six venues, my favorite of which was Oxygen. As much as that club is criticized for its role as downtown's token Miami wannabe, you've gotta love the all-ladies dance floor.

On another note...I've had the new Kelly Clarkson song, "Never Again," in my head all day after hearing it back-to-back on my drive to work this morning. The song has kind of garnered a mixed reaction from fans, but I pretty much love it.

And something else...is it bad that I'm a little happy that "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" star Ty Pennington was arrested Saturday morning on suspicion of being under the influence of alcohol and drugs while driving?

Um, hello. He uses a megaphone on a regular basis. If that's not a warning sign for addiction, what is?

not just a glove

My 16-year-old sister will attend her first high school prom this year, and I think my parents would be much happier with the experience if she was forced to wear one of these dresses made of condoms. OK, maybe not.

But seriously...what compels somebody to make an entire wardobe out latex? Or lambskin? Or, well, you get the picture.

Anyway, save one for me. I'll even pay extra if 75 percent of the dress is flavored.

muy caliente

Cinco de Mayo, as I noted in Thursday's column, is one of many annual excuses for partying during which people don't actually know what they're celebrating.

Actually, it marks Mexico's victory over France in an 1862 battle. But if you're asked, a simple "something about Mexico" will suffice. Expect female party goers to use it as another excuse to dress like sluts, a tendency that applies to every holiday.

Also, don't hesitate to indulge in the plethora of umbrella-clad margaritas. Even if you're wearing a wife beater and requesting White Zombie songs.

You'll find a party at pretty much any area bar, but here are a few likely standouts:

*Best Way to Satisfy Your Inner Pinballer: Downtown's $10 bar crawl. One cover charge gets you into Oxygen, Big City Club, Daileys, The Vault and The Uptown Tap...plus food specials.

*Best Alcoholic Simulation of the United Nations: Scruffy Murphys, the downtown Irish pub that will host a Cinco de Mayo party with margarita specials and a performance by Jaded Soul.

*Best Place to Hide a Bad Dye Job: Memory Lane, where you can win $100 in a "Best Sombrero" contest. Drink specials are also included.

*Best Place to Experiment with Some Dirty Spanish: Fiesta Columbus, the carnival at the Columbus Civic Center. I went Thursday night, and let's just say the carnies didn't disappoint. At all.

*Best Place to Pretend You're Charo: Locos Amigos Cantina on Broadway, where five-piece Latin band Son Tropical will entertain 7:30-10:30 p.m. At 11 p.m., you can indulge in salsa and merengue dancing.

*Best Place to Watch a Stupid Decision: The Shanty Shack, where in addition to food and drink specials, you can count on a jalapeno-eating contest. Drunk people. Hot peppers. Does life get any better?

TGIF.

what's going on tonight?

Again, it's the usual suspects for a Thursday night...open mic at Fountain City, DJ Che at the Vault, Peggy Jenkins and the Rhythm Roosters at Broad Street Blues. SoHo Bar and Grill hosts the Neal Lucas Trio tonight.

Expect a Cinco de Mayo round-up tomorrow.

Anyone else ready for TGIF?

what? no hanson?!?

Came across this guy's list of what are supposedly the top 10 striptease songs. Ever.

Can't say I'm in full agreement, especially since the list leaves no room for my choreographed rendition of Hanson's "Mmmbop." Anyway, here goes:

10. Ginuwine, "Pony"

9. Billy Idol, "Eyes Without a Face"

8. Britney Spears, "I'm a Slave 4 U"

7. Pussycat Dolls, "Buttons"

6. Nine Inch Nails, "Closer"

5. D'Angelo, "She's Always in My Hair"

4. Lovage, "Sex (I'm a)"

3. Nelly, "Hot in Here"

2. Madonna, "Justify My Love"

1. Prince, "Cream"

Actually, I actually know half of these songs, and I'm a little saddened by the absence of The Divinyls (you know which song), not to mention John Mellencamp's "Hurts So Good."

Which songs make YOU wish you had a metal pole in your dining room?

what women want?

Today I came across this Men's Health article called "50 Things She Wishes You Knew: Universal Truths that All Men Should -- But Don't -- Understand." It's basically a rundown of the relationship pitfalls that women have been complaining about at gyms, salons and slumber parties for decades. A sampling:

No. 21: A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

No. 34: I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

No. 49: I remember everything about our relationship.

Initially, the list struck me as just a glorified version of the many MySpace bulletins and forwarded e-mails I've received since the majority of my friends entered serious relationships. But after a brief Google search of the aforementioned article, I was surprised by how much Internet criticism it's generated since its publication.

One of its chief critics, a blogger named Klashbash, even wrote points retaliating each item on the list. He prefaces it with: "Women have an appetite for erratic reasoning. They want equal rights without the negative ones. How about they pay half of the meal? Equality right? They want to be treated like a princess but god forbid they extend the 'anything for you' courtesy. As this snobbish 'the world revolves around me' list illustrates; you have to buy her off and treat her like an idol before she'll throw you a bone."

Harsh? Maybe. But these lists bother me because they give women the illusion that there are guys out there reading 50-item compilations in hopes of debunking every typical male flaw.

False.

List your demands as much as you'd like, but realize that they're ideals, not must-haves. Thoughts?