The things we do for love

The question isn't whether I've done stupid things in the name of love.

A more appropriate inquiry: What's the STUPIDEST thing I've done in the name of love?

Ah, yes...we certainly have options, most of which involve me traveling miles out of my way to buy gifts that were either ignored or entirely unappreciated. (Current boyfriend excluded, of course.)

This CNN article emphasizes how love can make us stupid. An excerpt:

The fact of the matter is, you can't make yourself stop wanting to do stupid things when you are caught in the grip of new love or old love for that matter, any more than you can make yourself stop wanting cheesecake, or a cigarette, or a martini, or anything else that tempts you.

But you can stop doing the things that make you look and feel like an idiot, with a little help.

You can stop the compulsive voicemail and e-mail-checking, the constant texting, and the Facebook stalking. You can stop yourself from Googling his name (again). You can shut out all those premature thoughts of what your wedding will be like, and what you'll name your children. And when you're wondering on your second date if she has fallen in love with you yet, you can stop yourself from asking her.

I agree: Many of the crazy things we do at a relationship's onset are unnecessary.

Yet at the same time, a certain level of craziness -- provided it doesn't involve stalking or bridal magazines -- also lays the foundation for the memories you'll fondly recall as your relationship progresses.

After my boyfriend and I went on our first major vacation together, I remember arriving home and channeling my inner crazy during a phone call with my mom. I told her about my awkward moments during the trip and held back tears while saying, "I don't know if he even likes me!"

Nearly four years have passed since that moment. Last weekend we performed our usual Saturday night routine: grilled steak and some quality TV time. It wasn't anything monumental, but one thing seemed clear.

"Yes, he likes me."

Or he's just a really good liar. Haha.

Monday power anthem

Today's tune provides the perfect backdrop for post-Oscars fashion analysis.

Tired of listening to your friends imitate Joan Rivers? Avoid the office water cooler by voting in our online fashion poll.

Is sex addiction a real disease?

That's the central question raised in this interesting piece from Time magazine. An excerpt:

In the 20th century, we changed our thinking about alcoholism: what was once a moral weakness came to be understood as an illness resulting in large part from genetics. Sexual acting out seems different, though. Is excessive lust really just another biochemical accident?

In recent years, I've listened to a handful of acquaintances attribute breakups to a partner's battle with sex addiction. Women describe the scenario in terms of a medical ailment interfering with an otherwise stable relationship.

On some level, it's a cultural shift: Just a few years ago, many of those women would attribute their relationship's flaws to their own weaknesses.

Now, though the breakup is just disturbing, it's a result of somebody else's biochemistry.

Here's a question from the aforementioned article's headline:

Is sex addiction a real disease or an excuse for men to cheat?

Cats and dating

Here's some research suggesting cats prefer female owners.

Sorry, guys.

Have one cat? Cute. Two felines? No problem. Three? Borderline. Anything above the three-cat threshold often puts you at risk for some sort of social stigma, regardless of your pets' cuteness.

We've all heard stories about the proverbial "crazy cat lady." Male cat fans generate their own stereotypes, usually involving loneliness and/or a fear of commitment.

Which dater has LESS social stigma: a cat-obsessed man or cat-obsessed woman?

Stay-at-home girlfriend

Immediately after college, things were simple. All my female friends in their 20s had jobs. It blinded me to any other possible lifestyles.

But then my friends started getting married, having kids and quitting their jobs. And enjoying it.

Many of my female friends are still working. But our conversations often turn toward NOT working -- this is, whether or not we'd enjoy it. Here's my go-to answer: "I'd like staying home at first, but eventually I'd get bored."

I feel like that's what I'm supposed to say.

Those conversations crossed my mind upon finding this essay: "How to survive as a SAHG (stay-at-home girlfriend)."

At times, the piece seems like a satire. The writer includes many cringe-worthy references to keeping her boyfriend happy (having dinner ready when he gets home, cleaning the house).

But if you ignore the antiquated gender roles, the essay to some extent reflects current economic realities. The writer's husband didn't suddenly offer to subsidize her so she could quit her job.

No, she was left jobless after her corporate gig was outsourced.

It's a different scenario than someone who deliberately decides to sit back and live on her significant other's income. The writer closes the essay by saying she intends to eventually have her own career.

So the essay's tone, as divisive as it sounds, might simply be an attempt to make the best of a bad situation.

Thoughts?

(Thanks to the always amazing Lizzie for directing me to the link that inspired this post.)

Two beds, one relationship?

Today's nightlife column is about how incompatible sleep habits can ruin on a relationship. I'm largely writing from personal experience.

When changes to my boyfriend’s work schedule recently made him change his daily wake-up time to 6 a.m., I never imagined it would wreck havoc on our relationship.

That is, until his new early bedtime left me -- a natural night owl -- watching infomercials alone during the late-night hours we’d usually spend together.

Of course, when matters of attraction are involved, you rarely view sleep solely as a health necessity.

If your partner won’t stay awake for another movie, it’s certainly a reflection of your desirability, right?

To make matters worse, sleep isn’t conducive to compromise.

Need proof? Nearly 1 in 4 American couples report sleeping in separate beds, according to National Sleep Foundation research cited in the Chicago Tribune.

Share your tips for surviving conflicting sleep habits in a relationship.

Men won't grow up?

Are male 20-somethings living an extended adolescence?

That's the question surrounding an essay that recently appeared in the Wall Street Journal. It's adapted from an upcoming book, "Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys."

An excerpt:

It's been an almost universal rule of civilization that girls became women simply by reaching physical maturity, but boys had to pass a test. They needed to demonstrate courage, physical prowess or mastery of the necessary skills.

The goal was to prove their competence as protectors and providers. Today, however, with women moving ahead in our advanced economy, husbands and fathers are now optional, and the qualities of character men once needed to play their roles—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete, even a little embarrassing.

Agree or disagree?

(via Double X)