Facebook and death

This morning I logged into my Facebook account as usual and clicked on the friends under the "suggestions" area. As usual.

The result was anything but usual.

With one click, I learned the guy with whom Facebook wanted me to "share the latest news" had died.

He was one of my first newspaper editors, someone who listened to Phish during the Sunday shift and gave me an eternal fear of being fired for missing deadline by 10 minutes.

We hadn't talked since the obligatory "nice to see you on Facebook" messages we exchanged last year.

But now, I was staring at my closest glimpse into his personal life. Though a Facebook suggestion.

Facebook has an official policy for memorializing its deceased users, but the process takes some time. There's inevitably a limbo period before somebody's Facebook presence is turned into a memorial page.

And that period was when I learned of my friend's death. Sympathy messages were posted just inches above status updates suggesting that yes, he was alive and well after all.

I'd like to offer some deep reflection about what this says about our ability to communicate. But the truth is, if I didn't have Facebook, I would have likely gone months -- even years -- without knowing he'd died.

We were distant acquaintances at best. The kind of people who communicated though Google searches and friends of a friend.

When you have that kind of relationship, sharing the latest news doesn't happen easily.

In fact, it sometimes doesn't happen at all.