Too old for a bikini

If you're 47 years old and wearing a bikini, change your outfit. Immediately.

Today's public service announcement is a result of a wardrobe guide I discovered while reading Jezebel. The site tells readers about survey results that indicate when women should stop wearing certain items.

Fortunately, I can keep my entire wardrobe intact for a few years.

I'll hit my first major fashion milestone at 34, when I'm supposed to stop wearing leather trousers. Hmm. Does pleather have an earlier expiration date?

Here are some other noteworthy results:

Bikini, 47

Stilettos, 51

Ugg boots, 45

Miniskirt, 35

Overall, I think most of the guidelines are pretty spot on. I'd even go for an earlier age cutoff for Ugg boots.

What do you think? Cool? Offensive?