Thursday, February 28, 2008

what's going on tonight?

Here's your Thursday lineup, partiers:

*The Redaction, 10 p.m. Soho Bar & Grill, $5 (free for military). 706-568-3316.

*Gary Parmer, 10 p.m. Belloo's, $5. 706-494-1584.

*Driven, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy's, $5. 706-322-3460.

*Songwriter showcase, 8 p.m. Broad Street Blues, free. 334-297-3200.

*Pipers Down, 9:30 p.m. Mediterranean Cafe, free. 706-320-9111.

still alive

Bracing myself for all comments involving shallowness and superficiality, I'll admit I can't wait for the upcoming second installment of the third season of "The Hills."

It starts March 24 on MTV. Here's an extended sneak peek of what's in store.

Long live the drama!

happy thursday!

The only thing more exciting than the fact that it's almost Friday?

Figuring out which scholarly article recently included this quote:

“Show me a woman with a good three inches of cleavage on display, and I’ll show you a woman who, rightly or wrongly, has little faith in her powers of conversation.”

Get the answer here.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

baby loves disco?

Think having kids ends your social life? Think again.

Here's an article about the rise in family-friendly nightclubs -- swank venues that host late-afternoon, pre-dinner shindigs where DJs spin '70s and '80s music for adults who shake their groove thangs with kids in hand.

At the forefront of the movent is Baby Loves Disco, which hosts events nationally for kids and parents to dance and party together.

For as many people who are opposed to these kind of social organizations, I think it's better option than, say, the parents who leave their kids with a babysitter while getting wasted at Oxygen on a Saturday night.

What do you guys think? Should partiers retire from the nightlife scene once they have kids?

(Baby Loves Disco doesn't host Columbus events, but there is an Atlanta chapter. Access it here. And for more parenting news, check out my co-worker Annie Addington's parenting blog here.)

(almost) free burritos!

I've professed my undying affection for breakfast burritos on this site before, so you can only imagine my enthusiasm when I learned this morning that on Thursday and Friday, McDonald's will offer a free McSkillet burrito with the purchase of a medium or large drink.

During breakfast hours (until 10:30 a.m.) only. Get the full story here.

On a sadder note, the guy who created the fast food chain's "I'm lovin' it" ad campaign died Friday of an apparent suicide. More details here.

I'm missin' it.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

ready, set, date!

Recently, I blogged about the newest local match-making service, Columbus Speed Dating.

Want to try it out? There's an event for ages 21-34 at Caffe Amici on March 13.

Ten male spots remain and nine female spots remain.

Click here for registration info.

bend it like...

Cue all inappropriate references to scoring. Or worse.

China has introduced the offical David Beckham condom -- without the famous soccer star's blessing, of course.

Get the full story here.

noooo!!! wait...ok.

Prepare to cry. Excessively. In a dark room.

Today, Starbucks will close almost every one of its stores nationwide from 5:30-8:30 p.m. for employee training. Sorry guys, but I predict three hours isn't enough to learn how to spell my name correctly on my coffee cup.

It's S-O-N-Y-A, bitches.

Anyway, before you start pulling your hair out in a caffeine-induced fit of rage, listen to this: Dunkin' Donuts is taking full advantage of the situation by offering 99-cent small lattes, cappucinos and espresso drinks between 1 p.m. and 10 p.m.

Get the full story here.

I don't know what I like better...frothy beverages or corporate America.

Fill 'er up!

Monday, February 25, 2008

make him purr

Wow. This post's title totally sounds like a headline straight out of Cosmo. Success.

Actually, the topic up for discussion is this AskMen blog post, "Do real men own cats?" Felines, the authors assert, are "just plain girlie."


Pets and relationships.

Not entirely a controversial, potentially deal-breaking issue, but something that can still influence a match's success. The anthology I profiled last week, "Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me," even has a whole first-person story about how a dog is not a good reason to stay in a relationship.

Has an animal ever affected -- positively or negatively -- your impression of a mate?

(Please avoid all references to doggystyle. TMI.)

but can she speak?

Clearly using some technical and very complicated methodology, the folks at Star Magazine have concluded that the perfect female face consists of:

*Katie Holmes' eyes

*Katherine Heigl's nose

*Keira Knightley's cheeks

*Jessica Simpson's hair

*Angelina Jolie's lips


Although maybe not the best personality in the world.

Which celebrity's feature would you most like to steal? My answer is Stacy Keibler's legs.

slim chance

If the fact that it's Monday isn't enough to dampen your spirits, here's an article devoted entirely to the stupid things people do to lose weight.

One of the examples? A guy who tried desperately to give himself a tapeworm by saving a Tupperware container of salmon in his glove compartment for 60 days and then eating it.

I won't give away the ending.

Friday, February 22, 2008

what's going on this weekend?

Sooo happy it's Friday. Here's some stuff to check out:

If you're feeling adventurous Friday, hit up Geek Night at Columbus State University's Elizabeth Bradley Turner Center for Continuing Education. The massive gaming fest is 5-10 p.m., and features everything from standard board games to stuff like Dungeons & Dragons and Magic: The Gathering. It's $5, with an extra $7 for the Magic draft. Read my column about Geek Night here.

In other nightlife recommendations...

Want something different? Hit up the Mediterranean Cafe Friday, where Big Saxy plays from 6 to 10:30 p.m. It's free. 706-320-9111.

Also on Friday, local favorite Whisky Bent takes the stage at Soho. The show starts around 10, and cover is $5. 706-568-3316.

Saturday, local act Classic Addict has a CD release party at all-ages club The Core with opening acts Corey Crowder and The Gulls. It's $5 and includes a Classic Addict CD. 706-565-7240.

Another good option for Saturday? Little Black Dress Night at Belloo's. Ladies in black dresses get free admission and a $10 gift card for the bar. Musical act is Claiborne & Friends. 706-494-1584.

Have a good weekend!

pucker up

In the absence of a cure for the common cold, Scientific American has devoted its efforts to this article about why we kiss.

Read the article's four pages while pretending you don't know the answer involves getting laid.

Or, simply check out an excerpt from the article:

In a recent survey Gallup and his colleagues found that 59 percent of 58 men and 66 percent of 122 women admitted there had been times when they were attracted to some­one only to find that their interest evaporated after their first kiss. The “bad” kisses had no particular flaws; they simply did not feel right—and they ended the romantic relationship then and there—a kiss of death for that coupling.

In a relationship's early stages, how forgiving are you when it comes to kissing? Have you ever ditched a partner simply because he/she was a bad kisser?

not better with age

Happy Friday!

Ever the pinnacle of good news, MSNBC has this article, kindly titled "Your marriage is going to get worse, study says."

The earth-shattering research concludes -- get ready to be surprised -- that couples get more annoyed with each other the longer they are together.


What personality quirk, if any, do you think could annoy you to the point that you need a divorce?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

what's going on tonight?

Here's your Thursday night lineup:

*Pipers Down, 9:30 p.m. Mediterranean Cafe, free. 706-320-9111.

*Gary Parmer, 10 p.m. Belloo's, $5. 706-494-1584.

*Songwriter showcase, 8 p.m. Broad Street Blues, free. 334-297-3200.

*The Marquette Weekend, 10 p.m. Soho Bar & Grill, $5 (free for military). 706-568-3316.

top heavy

Yes, this picture does feature a bra with padding made of beer. And yes, you can secretely drink from it.

No further questions, your honor.

friends. or not.

My friend Melissa, one of the coolest people in the world, wrote a great blog post today about the dynamic between current girlfriends and ex-girlfriends.

She tells a story of extending a friendship invitation to one of her current boyfriend's exes, and being very rudely denied. you think it's ever possible to have a genuine friendship with your boyfriend's ex? Or will there always be a creepy underlying frenemy vibe?

three awkward words

I came across this article, "Your guy's 'I love you' wish list," while searching for blog inspiration.

It's all about guys' guidelines involving the L-bomb. Most of the recommendations are pretty hum-drum: say it when you're sober, not during sex and not via e-mail or text message. Got it.

But the last piece of advice -- a belief that the girl should always be one to say "I love you" first -- struck me as odd.

Many women's magazines advise just the opposite, claiming that doing so will scare a guy off. Women, many articles say, are likely to feel love before guys, so instead of dropping the L-bomb too early and destroying the relationship, it's best to wait for your man to say it.

Also, I've known many girls who have said it first, and wondered in retrospect if their guy said it back simply to appease them, or because he really felt it.

In a relationship, who should drop the L-bomb first -- the guy or the girl?

love school

For today's paper, I wrote a profile of this book, "Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me."

It's a pretty cool collection of stories from male writers, most of whom are well-known humorists ranging from Stephen Colbert to Will Forte. The anthology differs from the inspirational stuff you might expect from, say, "Chicken Soup for the Soul." Many of the submissions' morals simply boil down to the fact that in dating, sometimes people just make bad decisions.

As cliche as it sounds, I really do think you grow as a person every time a relationship ends. Now sure, sometimes the resulting lesson isn't life changing. But I can grasp concrete things I've learned from almost every severed romance, the 5 most important lessons being:

1. Similarities on paper have no bearing on face-to-face success.

2. People adapt, but never fully change.

3. Chronic lateness has meaning far beyond a series of missed dinner reservations.

4. Guys, too, have issues.

5. I deserve a date who compliments me on my outfit. Repeatedly.

What's the most important breakup-inspired lesson you've learned? Do you subscribe to the belief that everything happens for a reason, or do you think some breakups have no value beyond emotional suffering?

Click here to buy a copy of "Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me." It's also available at the Columbus Public Library, as soon as I return it.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

need a date?

Just learned about another option for local singletons.

This new site,, looks promising. Catering to single professionals, it gives participants one full night of dates for $35, and guarantees that if you don't find at least one possible match, you can attend another event free of charge. Its events will be held on Thursdays, the Web site says.

I checked their calendar, and couldn't find any upcoming events marked, but I'll update you as I get more information.

The aforementioned site only offers Columbus-based events. If you're looking to expand your horizons, try The Sandbox, a site that offers events for single professionals in Atlanta. They have an '80s party Friday at The Grand Hyatt in Buckhead. Read about it here.

man tears...ew?

Lots of people are blogging about this list, "20 Movies that Make Men Cry."

First, I think its entries are kind of debatable. Like, when was the last time your boyfriend bawled over "Life is Beautiful"? More importantly, when was the last time your boyfriend WATCHED "Life is Beautiful"?

That aside, ladies, I'd like to know what you think of a guy who isn't afraid to drop some tears during a movie.

Cute or creepy?

i want a neurotransmitter tramp stamp

OK, maybe not really.

But if I did have one, I'd definitely take a picture of it for inclusion on this site, Carl Zimmer's Science Tattoo Emporium. It features a bunch of nerdy tattoos, ranging from molecules to computer keys to entries from the periodic table of elements.

I've never wanted a tramp stamp more in my entire life.

The pic above, by the way, is a serotonin tattoo. The poster describes it as her favorite neurotransmitter.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

free show!

Hey Tuesday night partiers...

Hit up Soho tonight for a free show by the New York-based rockers from Fixer. Their music spans rock, metal and alternative. You can listen to some of their songs, including a track called "Hillbilly Heroin," here.

Need more info? Visit their official Web site, which features some goblins with boobs, here.

The show starts around 10 p.m. Call 706-568-3316.

i'm all you'll ever need

That's one of the entries on this AskMen article about the top 10 red flag remarks women make.

In case you're wondering, the No. 1 red flag comment from a woman is, "I'm burning these photos of you and this bitch." Oops. That totally explains 98 percent of my breakups.

Conveniently, the article isn't coupled with a piece on red flag remarks from guys. I think the favorite I've heard is, "I'm getting married, but I'd totally cheat on her if given the opportunity." Don't worry...I aborted that conversation. Quickly.

But sometimes, we're not as wise.

In retrospect, what's the biggest red flag remark you've ignored?

dance, dance

The new cast of "Dancing with the Stars" was revealed, and obviously the celeb making the most headlines is Marlee Matlin, who's deaf. Since music is, um, kind of critical to the show, this should be interesting. Other contestants include:

*Tony award winner Marissa Jaret Winokur

*Actor/radio personality Adam Carolla

*Actress Shannon Elizabeth

*Actor Cristián de la Fuente

*Actor Steve Guttenberg

*Actor/entertainer Penn Jillette

*R&B singer Mario

*Actress/businesswoman Priscilla Presley

*Tennis pro Monica Seles

*Miami Dolphins football player Jason Taylor

*Olympic figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi

(Source: this article)

Which contestant are you rooting for?

Monday, February 18, 2008

down, boy

Newsweek has an article about a new book that compares training men to training animals.

Author Amy Sutherland spent a year at animal training school and then extended those techniques to strategies designed to help women maintain a happy marriage.

For example, when you're house-training your dog, experts say to reward positives and avoid negatives. Give your dog a biscuit when she pees outside, simply wipe up the accident when it happens in the kitchen.

You can apply the same mentality to your man, Sutherland argues. Don't yell at him for not calling, but tell him how much you appreciate it when he does.

I first read about Sutherland's findings in Cosmo, and the whole thing struck me as very, very weird. Obviously, it's making waves among feminists.

I'm interested in what you think, possibly for inclusion in a future article. Girls, would you feel comfortable using an animal trainer's mindset while dealing with your relationship? And guys, do you think the parallel is at all degrading?

(Sutherland's book, by the way, is ""What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love and Marriage." Buy it here.)


Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but looking outward in the same direction.

-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Somebody had the brilliant idea to perform this brilliant research concluding that wild gorillas go face-to-face while getting it on. Hot.

Remember ladies...that doesn't necessarily mean he cares.

let the countdown begin...

No, I'm not talking about the days that remain until Friday. I'm referring to these findings about how long it takes the average man to propose.

The answer?

Two years, 11 months and eight days.

But who's counting?

Friday, February 15, 2008

what's going on this weekend?

TGIF!! Here's your lineup:


*Indie Wars featuring The Awkward Romance, Through Blood and Glory, Manchester Black, General Noise and 72 Hours, 7 p.m. The Core, $7. 706-565-7240.

*Chris Pierson Band, Sterling Y, Gone City, 10 p.m. Soho Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

*Roots of Creation, 9:30 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

*The Relics, 10 p.m. Belloo's, $5. 706-494-1584.

*Racket Club Band, 10 p.m. Del Ranch Restaurant & Lounge, $5. 334-297-9177.

*Peggy Jenkins and the Rhythm Roosters, 9:30 p.m. Broad Street Blues, $5. 334-297-3200.

*Connor Christian and the MorningStar Revival, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy's, $5. 706-322-3460.


*Ultra Drive, Forced Entry, 10 p.m. Soho Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

*Sara Hickman with special guests Tisha and Brian Ashley, 9:30 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

*Peggy Jenkins and the Rhythm Roosters, 9:30 p.m. Broad Street Blues, $5. 334-297-3200.

*Connor Christian and the MorningStar Revival, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy's, $5. 706-322-3460.

*The Relics, 10 p.m. Belloo's, $5. 706-494-1584.

*Racket Club Band, 10 p.m. Del Ranch Restaurant & Lounge, $5. 334-297-9177.

rest in peace, sexy

Need to ditch your date now that Valentine's Day has passed?

Send him or her a not-so-subtle hint by writing a relationship obituary. It's a service available courtesy of a new Web site, Read about it here.

Visit the site and you'll see a coffin with a heart inside. It's kind of hot. It's also pretty fun to browse the obituaries posted on the site. You should write one. It's probably therapeutic.


Here's an article about the ever-expanding field of "honey trappers" -- private detectives hired to see if someone's significant other is cheating.

As opposed to the "Cheaters" setup, these detectives actually hit on the customer's boyfriend/girlfriend and see what happens.

Under which circumstances, if any, would you hire a private investigator to help find out if your special someone is cheating?

sorry seems to be the hardest word

Talk about non-confrontational.

Here's an Internet notification service that lets you tell your sexual partner -- by e-card, I'll note -- that he or she may have been exposed to an STD. Hot. The e-card also directs them to resources and testing available locally.

Unfortunately, Georgia hasn't yet jumped on the site's bandwagon, so for now you might have to settle for disclosing your case of herpes via text message.


Happy Friday!

Just when you thought it was over...

Apparently the day after Valentine's Day is a holiday, too. Wait, don't panic. It's just Valentine's Recovery Day (VRD). And no, I didn't make that up.

Conveniently, VRD also makes for a sly marketing ploy from Domino's Pizza. Check out an excerpt from this press release:

According to a survey recently conducted by Domino's on, respondents plan to put in an average of 6.42 hours to wooing their significant others on Valentine's Day, including preparations. Despite the great expectations, cost and stress that comes with this annual display of devotion, America still jumps at the chance to perform this true labor of love.

Ladies and gents longing for recovery on February 15 need only to reach for the nearest computer or phone to get Domino's Valentine's Recovery Day deal- two medium, two-topping pizzas, a 10-piece order of Buffalo Wings and four, 20-ounce Coca Cola products -- made with love for just $25.99.

What about you? Suffering from VRD, or just happy you made it out of Valentine's Day alive?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

where to party: v-day edition

OK, so this radio station's decision to give away a free divorce for Valentine's Day might kind of put the holiday in jeopardy...but don't lose faith entirely. Plenty of Columbus hot spots are celebrating tonight.

Here are my picks for the best local parties:

*Operating on a motto of "love stinks"? Hit up Soho Bar & Grill, 5751 Milgen Road, for a Classically Raunchy Valentine Party. You can look forward to Pabst Blue Ribbon, pork skins and rock music from Echovalve. There's also roses, candlelight and champagne in Dixie cups. 706-568-3316.

*If you're looking for something a little more refined, try dinner at a local restaurant. Among the options is the newly remodeled Buckhead Grill, 5010 Armour Road, where you can expect the usual fine dining menu plus some specials. 706-571-9995.

*Ben's Chophouse, 5300 Sidney Simons Blvd., will also offer some extra food specials. Musician Jared Averett will perform. 706-256-0466.

* If you're opting for uniqueness, go for the dinner special at the Shanty Shack, 4475 Warm Springs Road. From 6 to 10 p.m., you can get two 12-ounce ribeye steaks, two baked potatoes, two side salads, two pieces of Texas toast and two miniature bottles of champagne -- for a total of $29.95. 706-507-3418.

*The Mediterranean Cafe, located in the same shopping complex as Ben's Chophouse, has a special five-course Valentine's menu that includes appetizers, salads, soups, entrees and desserts. It's $49.95 per couple, $26.95 for singles. Pipers Down and Big Saxy will perform beginning at 9:30 p.m. 706-320-9111.

*Diners at Mediterranean eatery Mario's Restaurant & Pop, 1010 Broadway, can look forward to a special dinner featuring an appetizer plate, salad, entree, dessert and a glass of champagne. It's $19.99 per person. 706-571-9830.

*Meritage Cafe, 1350 13th Street, has an extensive Valentine's Day menu spanning seven courses. It's $140 per couple. 706-327-0707.

*Seafood restaurant The Market, 4403 17th Ave., will get a fresh shipment of fish, making for specials ranging from horseradish-encrusted grouper to twice-baked lobster. The specials will be offered throughout the weekend as well. Make sure you have a special bottle of wine ready for your sweetheart at this bring-your-own-beverage restaurant. 706-320-9733.

*The Hilton Garden Inn, 1500 Bradley Lake Blvd., has a dinner for two that includes a petite filet and shrimp scampi surf and turf, a bottle of wine and dipped strawberries. It's $79.95. 706-660-1000.

*Caffe Amici, 2301 Airport Thruway, will have some extra food specials to complement its menu of Italian cuisine. 706-653-6361.

*Finally, end your night by stopping at cigar and martini bar Belloo's, 900 Front Ave., where you can catch a performance by Las Vegas songstress Rita Graham beginning at 8:30 p.m. There's no cover, and ladies get a gift card for the bar. 706-494-1584.

i can see my future in you

OK, guys...

You forgot to order the flowers, you can't think of what to write inside a card and you have a slight hunch that Valentine's dinner at Ryan's isn't really going to cut it.

Quick, say something nice!

That's the exact name of this site, which lets its visitors vote on a rotating set of compliments, things ranging from "you make everything more fun" to "I can't believe I was lucky enough to find you."

Awww. Say it with enough affection and your girlfriend won't even notice she's getting something from a mass-produced list of compliments.

Note: If you don't have a significant other, it's perfectly OK to pretend somebody really hot is reading the site's sweet nothings to you. Kind of hot, in fact.

...and ready to mingle

Stop cutting cupid's arrows into your wrists and listen up for a minute.

You're not the only one looking for a meaningless fun tonight. Only 16 percent of single Americans say they are looking for a partner, the Pew Research Center reports here.

One-night stand on Valentine's Day: Do it or ditch it?

happy valentine's day!

No flowers on your desk? No problem!

Turn to this blog as your No. 1 coping source all day. I'll be updating it with a good mix of not only info knocking the virtues of Valentine's day, but also last-minute tips if you're navigating the holiday in coupledom.

But first, the obligatory mix of articles reaffirming your assertion that love stinks:

*This blog, conveniently called The Poop, gives a list of reasons why Valentine's Day could easily be the worst holiday ever. Among the evidence? "Conversation hearts taste like crap."

*Once again the beacon of hard-hitting analysis, CNN calls Valentine's Day the holiday from hell. The article is stacked with scientific case studies, including this one: "Brian Wise, a 32-year-old technical writer from Seattle has seen his Valentine's Day go sideways repeatedly -- most memorably the time he ended up in handcuffs (and not in a good way)."

*Apparently the Chicago Tribune also did some serious research, resulting in this conclusion that men and women celebrate Valentine's Day differently. And one of the article's last sentence pretty much summarizes the entire holiday:

"What hasn't changed is the fact that if you don't get your butt out and buy your wife, girlfriend or any woman you ever hope to speak to again in your life a present, you might as well disconnect your phone, change your e-mail address and join a monastery."


Wednesday, February 13, 2008

lonely tonight?

Then order yourself flowers tomorrow!

You wouldn't be the first. Some 8 million Americans admit they send themselves Valentine's Day gifts, according to this article.

Self-love on Feb 14: Admirable or pathetic?

If that question's too complex, just spent tonight sending yourself into pre-Valentine's oblivion at the Shanty Shack. Hump Night features $1.50 domestic long necks all night and $10 margarita pitchers.


Yes, that's a real word.

It refers to the sexual high that some women get when men give them a break by taking care of the household chores.

You might think it's phenomenon limited to, like, Martha Stewart...but also might be wrong. Choreplay is apparently relevant enough to make for an entire AJC article, which you can access here. An excerpt:

Traditional turn-ons can be common romantic gifts, such as champagne, chocolate or lingerie. Or something physical, a kiss, for example. But the unexpected gift of time – and that's what many choreplay examples amount to – can reveal a deeper connection. And that can be downright sexy.

Hey...what happens in the broom closet stays in the broom closet!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

buy your back wax here!

While researching something yesterday, I came across, billed as "personal products in a private environment."

Strangely intrigued, I clicked on the link, cursing under my breath about why this site wasn't around during my desperate attempts to avoid my grocery-boy crush while buying certain hygiene products in ninth grade.

Anyway, that regret quickly turned to amusement once I got to the site. I took great pleasure in perusing the stuff that people buy, although some things on there don't necessarily have a lot of shock value. Like a jar opener. What's the shame in that?

Other stuff, like this, might be a little more difficult to buy in front of Kenny the hot Publix bagger.

not just because you're ugly

Now it's CNN's turn to reinforce your loneliness:

Ever the beacon of hard-hitting news, it offers this piece, "Surprising reasons you're not having sex."


Monday, February 11, 2008

my funny valentine, vol. 3

Some Valentine's Day-related tidbits:

*This guy wrote a really long column about "the best video-game stuff for women, geeky or not." Before clicking on the link, guys, I recommend giving up the dream.

*Articles like this one have advice for what to do if you're spending Feb. 14 alone. Its No. 1 piece of advice? Have dinner with Mom. Conveniently, it fails to mention that you'll spend the entire night explaining why you're not yet married.

*Americans will spend about $17 billion on gifts this Valentine's Day, this article notes. Fortunately, your girlfriend will still find something to complain about.

*This special edition blog post helps you decide whether your bedroom is ready for romance. If the answer is no, you can buy some Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sheets here.

the monday moan

Cheers to mediocrity!

This article, "Why it's OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough," operates on an interesting premise: When it comes to marriage, there's a difference between compromising and settling. Its author is pretty strong in her assertion that all women want to eventually get married and have a family -- and in most cases, you have to compromise some of your standards to further that goal.

An excerpt:

"Oh, I know — I’m guessing there are single 30-year-old women reading this right now who will be writing letters to say that the women I know aren’t widely representative, that I’ve been co-opted by the cult of the feminist backlash, and basically, that I have no idea what I’m talking about. And all I can say is, if you say you’re not worried, either you’re in denial or you’re lying. In fact, take a good look in the mirror and try to convince yourself that you’re not worried, because you’ll see how silly your face looks when you’re being disingenuous."

Pretty harsh words.

But in my experience, at least, they seem true. The more friends I make, the times I see girls sacrifice some of their most important standards -- say, a rule that the guy they date can't have children -- in order to get on the track to marriage.

What do you think? Is "settling" an antiquated term? In what ways does settling differ from compromising?

Friday, February 8, 2008

what's going on this weekend?

Some noteworthy events:

*Don't forget about speed dating Saturday at Fountain City Coffee. I don't have the full info, so it's probably best to e-mail Good luck!

*Also, Phenix City nightclub Broad Street Blues celebrates its one-year anniversary Friday and Saturday night with giveaways, specials and live music. House band Peggy Jenkins and the Rhythm Roosters will perform beginning at 9:30 p.m. Cover is $5.

*Too young to hit up the bar scene? Hit up the first round of Indie Wars at the Core. The show, the first of four in the battle of the bands competition, will feature five acts -- A Contrail to Follow, This Sky on Fire, Sacred Justice, FBA and Raise Up. It starts at 7 p.m. and cover is $7.

Other stuff you might enjoy:

*Soho is likely to attract lots of partiers this weekend. Local party band Mindblender performs Friday, while Broken and Asphalt Valentine take the stage Saturday. Both shows start around 10, cover is $5.

*I've heard good things about The Red Tide Saga, the band that's been frequenting Scruffy Murphy's. They'll be there Friday and Saturday, 10 p.m. each night. Cover is $5.

a tv turn-on

About half of UK guys surveyed in a recent study say they would give up sex for six months to get a 50-inch plasma TV, according to this article.

If these findings are true -- note: the study was conducted by a firm that sells TVs -- what do you think the equivalent for women is? long would you go without sex to get 50 new pairs of shoes?

push it real good

Talk about a soundtrack to love...

There's a patented condom that plays music with every thrust. Its design lets you record whatever music and sound you want. Unfortunately, it's never been produced, but with luck somebody will get on that by Valentine's Day.

I found out about the condom from this article, which also asks people what kind of tunes they'd choose for their musical condoms. Answers are pretty amusing.

For the record, here's what I'd like to hear:

1. "Any Way You Want It"
2. "2 Become 1"
3. "MMMBop"

Additional suggestions?

Thursday, February 7, 2008

what's going on tonight?

Among my favorite Thursday night offerings -- karaoke at the Shanty Shack, 4475 Warm Springs Road. Winner gets $103, and there's $1 Natural Light long necks all night.

Contest starts at 9, sign ups are at 7:30. It's limited to 20 singers, so get there early.

Other noteworthy parties:

*Songwriter showcase, 8 p.m. Broad Street Blues, free. 334-297-3200.

*The Neal Lucas Trio, 10 p.m. Soho Bar & Grill, $5 (free for military). 706-568-3316.

crying between the sheets

Yes, my friends, there is a drawback to EVERYTHING.

Here's a piece about why so many people get sad after sex. Even when it's good. The behavior even has its own name: post-coital tristesse, a Latin-French phrase.

Fortunately, just seconds after that article sent me into a deep depression, I found this site, The North American Field Guide to Lingerie. Just in time for Valentine's Day, it offers male shoppers definitions of the different lingerie items they're considering buying for their significant others.

Significant others who, by the way, might not be that thrilled to learn about the site comes with a bunch of convenient visuals.

life is a big jigsaw puzzle...

And you are the missing piece.

That's one of the lines cited in this article about pickup strategies from around the world. It comes from Germany, a where guys also apparently score women by saying, "Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche."

Germany also ranks very high internationally when it comes to beer consumption per capita. Coincidence? I think not.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

need a date?

During a trip to Fountain City Coffee this afternoon, I serendipitously learned about a whole bunch of cool upcoming events, including a Geek Night. But that's another story for another time.

Now, I'm telling you guys that Fountain City will host speed dating Saturday, Feb. 9, at the coffee shop's new location in The Landings. I think it's limited to participants 18-25, and I'm not sure of the time. Anyway, e-mail for more info. You can also check their Web site, available here, but I saw now mention of upcoming events on there.

This brings up a good question. Saturday's like five days before Valentine's Day. (shudder)

What's the cutoff point for finding a Feb. 14 date without looking desperate?

one more

The last blog entry wouldn't let me post this pic, a shot of the Mardi Gras festivities at Scruffy Murphy's...courtesy of Alan Riquelmy's fantastic photography skills.

My biggest regret of the night, by the way, was not stopping in The Vault, where I swear I saw a kilt-clad guy dancing on the bar. Sigh.

the rest of the story

Spent the rest of Mardi Gras at the block party downtown, where I hit Scruffy Murphys, Daileys, Oxygen, The Tap and Big City Club. There were pretty good crowds everywhere. Perhaps partiers were drawn to the cute little cups. Or $2 hurricanes.

Of the bars I visited, Daileys had the strongest crowd. I think probably the most awkward moment was when I stopped in Big City to go to the bathroom and was of three partiers in the bar. The other two people were making out.


it tasted good

Soho was slightly out of the way, but it still earned a spot on my packed party agenda because of one word: jambalaya. Paying nothing to eat food that may permanently jeopardize your digestive system. Story of my life.

Background for those of you reading this blog from somewhere other than Columbus: Soho is a place that has bras hanging near the bar. You always come out smelling like cigarette smoke. Its recent music acts include a band called Whiskey Shit Vomit.

You now understand why the jambalaya intrigued me.

I got to Soho around 10:30, saw only 8-10 cars and figured this would be an easy in-and-out trip. Once inside, I realized the bar also had a very liberal definition of the zydeco music it promised, since the first song I heard was "Maneater" by Hall & Oates.

Anyway, I snapped the pic featured above and figured I'd be on my way. Until I got in a conversation with Gary, a self-described former hippie who told me about his long-ago dreams of becoming a photojournalist. Apparently a marijuana possession charge stopped him. Cautionary tale.

I also met a guy from local band Broken, and somehow committed myself to hearing them play Saturday. This should be interesting.

Before I knew it, I was running late to meet my friends downtown. Halfway out the door, however, I realized that the jambalaya experience wouldn't be complete if I didn't actually TASTE it. So I approached the two crock pots (jambalaya and rice) carefully and allowed a nearby pool player to stir both "to enhance the flavor."
Bottom line: Color me jambalayed. It was actually pretty delicious and I wanted more. In fact, even with plenty of stops ahead of me, I named the jambalaya the night's MVP. Mmm.

And then, stomach contents remarkably intact, I was off.


Mardi Gras -- My first stop of the night was Memory Lane, where ladies across town were promised a performance by the Great American Hunks. I heard the Missy Elliot music all the way from the parking lot and knew this was going to turn out well. Partial nudity for no cover charge. Story of my life.

Anyway, as I showed my ID, the bouncer tried to pull a fast one on me by claiming the Hunks hadn't shown up after all. Um, that kind of trickery doesn't really work when it's interrupted by inaudible choruses of "woooo!"

Once inside, I saw an impressive crowd that as expected leaned on the older end of the spectrum. Hot. That, of course, did not apply to the hunks, who were actually quite vibrant and youthful. They also got their own little introductions, including my favorite: "He dances in the North, he dances in the South. You'd never believe what he can do with his mouth." It's paraphrased, but you get the idea. Poetic beauty.

The pictures accompanying this post should give you an idea of the events that transpired. One more thing about the Hunks: They're actually not great after all. That by no means is a judgment on the quality of their performance. They're just officially known as the American Hunks. See their Web site here.

how do you think i got these?

By spending way too much money at Party City, actually.

That aside, last night's Mardi Gras festivities were a huge success. I made a cameo at Memory Lane, Soho and a bunch of the bars included in the Two for Fat Tuesday Block Party. I'll have a bunch of stories as the day progresses, including a firsthand account of the culinary greatness that constituted the jambalaya at Soho Bar & Grill.

Hint: I'm still alive.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

mardi gras!!

Don't forget...I'll be taking photos at tonight's Mardi Gras festivities, so make sure to vogue it up if you see me. Do something cool enough and I might give you one of the sweet sets of beads I bought yesterday at Party City.

Btw...who in the world spends $32.05 on beads?!? The answer is me.

Anyway, I have to blog "American Idol" until 9, but then I'll head to Memory Lane for the Great American Hunks. After that, I'll likely hit Soho and downtown. Maybe Shanty Shack if I have time. As a reminder, here's a rundown of the local festivities:

*Two for Fat Tuesday Block Party -- A $2 wristband gets you into the majority of downtown Columbus hot spots. Those bars will also have $2 hurricanes all night.

*Shanty Shack -- Local party band Mindblender will play at the hot spot beginning at 8 p.m. You can also expect some DJ music. It's at 4475 Warm Springs Road. No cover charge. See Web site here.

*Memory Lane -- The Great American Hunks will entertain at this club, located at 1812 Midtown Drive. Doors open for ladies at 7, show starts at 9. Guys will be allowed inside around 11. Drink specials, no cover.

*Soho Bar & Grill -- Expect free beads, jambalaya and zydeco music. No cover. The bar's at 5751 Milgen Road. See Web site here.

knicker picker

Yes, that's a real Web site. And it's not porn.

It's an online service that helps men shop for lingerie for their significant others. You'll choose from different-sized models, and let them "try on" a variety of items. Hot.

Hopefully guys really do use this for shopping purposes other than, um...yeah.

Click here to visit the site.

cubicle nookie

Hooking up with a co-worker makes you happier, more energetic and more productive, this study reveals.

Conveniently, it failed to ask participants about the drawbacks of an office affair -- including the tension that arrives when one of you outperforms the other. Not to mention seeing your ex eight hours a day in a breakup's aftermath.

Office romances: Do the pros outweigh the cons?

Monday, February 4, 2008

high hopes

I knew all the toe calluses and bone contortions were good for something!

Wearing stilettos could boost your sex life, this article reports. Here goes:

High-heeled shoes not only tone the legs and strengthen the pelvic muscles, but they "directly work the pleasure muscles which are linked to an orgasm," it is claimed.

In the past stilettos have been blamed for stress fractures and joint pain but now it seems that the pain might be worth the gain.

Italian urologist Dr Maria Cerruto discovered that a pair of "moderately high-heeled shoes" had beneficial effects.

"I adore high-heeled shoes and I wanted to find something positive about them," said Dr Cerruto, of the University of Verona. "In the end I achieved my goal."


my funny valentine, vol. 2

Nothing screams "I'm lame" like taking the time to read a press release entitled "Is okay to date your dog on Valentine's Day?"

Fortunately, that release is available here. An excerpt:

Today, human and hound can share everything from a Valentine's Day meal for two, to spa and pampering products and even matching clothes.

"People view their dogs as extensions of their personalities," says Kevin Fisher, co-owner of happytails Canine Spa Line. "If the owner is into sports, they'll have a sporty dog. If the owner is into fashion, the dog will have a wardrobe. With someone around who likes all the same things as you do, why look any further? You've found you perfect Valentine."

Brings a whole new meaning to doggy style...

rock of loft

Happy Monday!

Friday, I made the local nightlife rounds, beginning with a trip to Caliente (3709 Gentian Blvd.), perhaps the newest addition to the Columbus party scene. It was cool -- a pretty spacious venue with blacklight pool room and hip-hop vibe. They're catering mainly to college kids, one of the insiders told me. It's 18 to enter, 21 to drink.

As impressive as the club was, it was also pretty vacant. I was joined by no more than five partiers. Granted, I went around 10:30, when the night was still relatively young, but I'm always amazed by how little interest partiers here give new clubs -- comparatively, of course.

At any rate, you can get the full story in the bar profile page of Thursday's To Do section.

After Caliente, I stopped at the First Friday Block Party downtown. The $9 almost-encompassing cover charge was a bit higher than what we've seen in the past, but people seemed happy with the night overall.

I spent the majority of my time at The Loft, where local act Whisky Bent played. They weren't the only main attraction, though. We also got a quasi-impromptu appearance by Ambre Lake, a Smiths Station native and contestant from the second season of "Rock of Love." Notice her posing with some guy from Rock 103 in the pics above.

I don't have cable, so I can't follow the show, but I was nonetheless a little starstruck. Apparently Ambre's still in the running for Bret Michaels' heart...see her personal Web site here.

Friday, February 1, 2008

what's going on this weekend?

Hey party's your weekend lineup:

Most importantly, don't forget about the First Friday Block Party downtown. One cover gets you into the majority of bars. I'd specify how much it is, but nobody really knows yet. Always an element of surprise in Columbus!


*Scarlett Kings, Blacksmitz, 10 p.m., Soho Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

*Whisky Bent, 9:30 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

*Peggy Jenkins and the Rhythm Roosters, 9:30 p.m. Broad Street Blues, $5.334-297-3200.

*Java Monkey, 10 p.m. Belloo's, $5. 706-494-1584.

*Grayhill Conspiracy, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy's, $5. 706-322-3460.

*Spent, 10 p.m. Daileys, $5. 706-320-3353.


*Mojo:Saint, 10 p.m. Broad Street Blues, $5. 334-297-3200.

*Rockets to Ruin, Knowing Stu, 10 p.m. Soho Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

*The Dianne Durrett Band with special guest Ralph Rodenberry, 9:30 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

*Java Monkey, 10 p.m. Belloo's, $5. 706-494-1584.

*Spent, 10 p.m. Daileys, $5. 706-320-3353.

*Whisky Bent, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy's, $5. 706-322-3460.

my funny valentine, vol. 1

This one's courtesy of the Fifth Annual Valentine's Day Infidelity Awareness Campaign. Check out this sample from its press release:

Valentine's Day - the Ideal Time to Catch a Cheating Mate

(Ruth) Houston, the founder of and author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, explains why Valentine's Day is the best time to catch a cheating mate. "The National Retail Federation predicts that Americans will spend over $17 billion on Valentine's gifts this year. A significant amount of that money will be spent by cheaters buying gifts for their secret lovers. Whether bought with cash, check or credit card the purchase will leave a paper trail. Since most of these gifts will be delivered in person, there's an opportunity to catch the cheater in the act. Now is the time when anyone who suspects infidelity can get tangible proof of an affair..."

So get ready to mic up those dozen roses, everyone! And don't forget to overanalyze your man's decision to not spend every hour of the Feb. 14 with you, ladies.

new feature!

Welcome to The Walk of Shame's newest February feature!

Some background: I hate Valentine's Day. I think my awkwardness with the holiday started in 4th grade, when I vomited in the middle of our card exchange. That began a series of years in which I was either dateless and desperate or in a relationship with someone who thought Valentine's Day was "not a big deal."

I think my bad Valentine's Days reached a high just a couple years ago, when I was living at home in California with my parents. Lonely. One Feb. 14 I got an e-mail from an ex telling me how happy he was with his new girlfriend. That was the same day a 38-year-old guy made me a heart-shaped pizza. And he was missing part of a finger.

The next V-day, when I tried to treat myself to a nice solo dinner at Chipotle, my favorite restaurant, I was interrupted by a married couple who bombarded me with questions about why I was spending the day alone. Ouch.

At any rate, I've come to the conclusion that the holiday brings more harm than good, which is why this month I'm giving you a chain of opportunities to laugh at cupid's arrow.

The new feature's name, appropriately, is My Funny Valentine.

Read and enjoy.

the skinny on lingerie

As a bedroom novelty, lingerie is really pretty impractical.

Sure, it looks good and everything, but most of the cutest items aren't things that you can just wear under normal clothes. Which makes unveiling the lingerie a little difficult, especially if you don't live with your significant other. In that situation, you virtually have no choice but to inform your partner you're changing -- into something you want him to remove ASAP.

And in the end...even with the cutest garter and sexiest pair of fishnets...wouldn't a guy just rather see you naked anyway??

That's why I'm glad to find this article, which concludes women use lingerie to impress each other just as much as their boyfriends. Don't get caught up on lesbian fantasies, guys, the study is supposedly referring to body image. The results:

(Researchers) found that women use lingerie as a means for exploring other sides of their personality in addition to merely looking sexy for their mates. Lingerie essentially provides a means for exploring and defining a social identity.

According to (the) findings, women continually size up each other's undergarments in public spaces to evaluate whether they fall within accepted norms.

OK, I guess that does sound pretty hot.

Shopping for Valentine's Day lingerie? Click here and here and here.