Thursday, April 30, 2009

what's going on tonight?

Lots of options for Thursday night partiers. I especially recommend the cocktail tasting party at Flip Flops, 1111 Broadway. It's 5-9 p.m. For $20, you can sample more than 30 drinks. Food is included, too.

There's also a martini tasting at Belloo's, 900 Front Ave. You'll sample five mini martinis. It lasts all night and costs $20 for individuals, $35 for couples. Steve McRay entertains.

Other Thursday parties:

Lynam, 9 p.m. Shanty Shack, free. 706-507-3418.

Stereomonster, Unsung, Ethos, 8 p.m. The Roadhouse, free. $1.50 PBR.

Player Kommander, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5 (free for military). 706-568-3316.

cuddle wars

Want proof the relationship gods hate us? Let me direct you to the twisted world of cuddling.

In this advice piece, relationship experts Em and Lo ask guys if an aversion to cuddling means someone's not into you.

Rarely are couples on the same level when it comes to their cuddling needs. When you're craving a morning of gentle caresses, your partner is on a desperate mission to snag an Egg McMuffin before the 10:30 a.m. cutoff.

When you're craving a night of uninterrupted rest, your partner is sleeping close enough to drown you in her sleep drool.

Satiating your appetite for cuddling can be difficult -- which is why many people have opted for Cuddle Parties, non-sexual nationwide events where people just, um, cuddle. There's even an official Web site -- but sorry, Georgia cuddlers, the closest party for us in Montgomery, Ala.

Cuddle Parties might work for some people, but you only get so much satisfaction from letting a complete stranger wrap his arms around you.

And that value seriously decreases if there's body odor involved.

cocktail tasting tonight!

Want to start the weekend early? Sample more than 30 drinks at the Thursday night cocktail tasting party at Flip Flops, 1111 Broadway.

It's 5-9 p.m. A $20 admission fee includes food.

I went to the first tasting party at Flip Flops and I think it's one of best events offered on the local nightlife scene. There's a cool, relaxed atmosphere and you easily get your money's worth.

The drinks are super creative -- I liked everything I tried -- and last time the food spread included wings, chicken fingers, mini sandwiches and more. Awesome.

Check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

or else

Check out this AP article about how Kenyan women are initiating a sex strike to end violence in their country.

And you thought the "sex strike" threat was reserved for intercepting the TV remote in time for "Gossip Girl."

Maybe the concept is easier to digest when there's brutal African infighting involved. Oh yeah, the fact that Kenyan law allows polygamy probably helps, too.

That cases when you're not trying to make a global civil rights statement...

Is it ever OK to use sex -- or lack thereof -- as a bargaining card in a committed relationship?

probation period

Happy Hump Day, everybody! Everyone's talking about Obama's first 100 days in office -- but what happens during the first 100 days of a new relationship?

This AJC blogger describes the tendency to regard the first three months of a relationship as an "observe and report" phase.

Under that mindset, the scenario is similar to performing your due diligence after making an offer on a new home. You're not obligated to enter a serious relationship, but you've expressed a desire to move forward.

So you spend the early days examining the ins and outs of your partner of choice. It's a probation period that explains why guys like Steve Harvey say you should wait three months before gettin' busy.

Do you apply a "probation period" to the early stages of your relationships?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

civic booty

Ah, Prince. You've played with my emotions so much over the years, taunting me with your nonconformist ways.

Because I loved you, I endured the confusion that accompanies crying doves and raspberry berets. I stayed sane during that whole "artist formerly known as" debacle.

But now, you tell me that you don't vote. And it could be enough to put me at my breaking point.

Make no mistake: I, too, once waged a bitter war against the electoral college. Unfortunately, that's not your issue. No, you refuse to vote because you believe government should "go by prophecy."

I know our system isn't perfect, but it's important to both appreciate and exercise the voice you have. I'm always a little dumbfounded when people tell me they've never voted. Hey, at least do it for the cool sticker.

Could you date somebody who refuses to vote?

(via Jezebel)

secret dating behaviors

Sunday, I got sucked into the inescapable abyss of the Millionaire Matchmaker call-in show on XM Satellite radio.

After two weeks of listening, I've concluded 90 percent of calls to the show begin like this: "I'm a smart, sexy, intelligent woman. I don't know why guys aren't interested in me."

It's a common line, one we often use while discussing our single friends. So-and-so is such a great catch, we say, why can't she find a nice guy?

Thing is, "good person" and "good dater" are two different things.

While your friend may make for good company during your girls-only Sunday brunches, she may have an odd habit of getting a little narcissistic when she's alone with a man. Or, um, abusing her freedom to send lovey-dovey text messages.

Many of us have a standard personality and a dating personality. Unfortunately, some of our strongest traits often disappear in the latter.

In fact, The Frisky directs us to Modern Female Dating Anxiety, a condition experts say "most commonly affects self-assured women who lose their cool on the dating circuit."

"Sex and the City" made us obsessed with secret single behaviors -- things you do only when you're unattached.

But I think there's just as strong a contingent of secret dating behaviors -- personality quirks you unleash only when you're in the candlelit company of someone of the opposite sex.

Monday, April 27, 2009

get married. now!

You eye young married couples with an arsenal of silent insults, criticism that usually involves words like "needy," "naive" and "destined for divorce."

This controversial Washington Post column says you could be wrong.

In the piece, which has already made waves on the blogosphere, a sociology professor states the economic, biological and emotional case for marrying early -- say, in the 18-22 range.

A key part of his argument: "Marriage actually works best as a formative institution, not an institution you enter once you think you're fully formed. We learn marriage, just as we learn language, and to the teachable, some lessons just come easier earlier in life."

Does going through young adulthood together give a couple a special bond, or an added hurdle?

friends & lovers

Happy Monday! Hope everybody had a great weekend.

Let's kick off the week with a discussion question: How close do you let your friends get with the person you're dating?

Assuming you both have different groups of buddies, an introduction has to happen at some point. You have a couple drinks, go out to dinner and then confirm your significant other has passed The Friend Test.

Fair enough, right? Sure. But what if your friends REALLY like your partner? As in, like, they exchange a deluge of Facebook friend requests the next morning.

I'm not hinting at a potential for infidelity -- I'm pointing to the fear that one day you'll break up, and it'll be impossible to cut your ex entirely out of your life because you have too many friends in common.

What's more, even when you're in a serious relationship, it's nice to have some things that are distinctly your own. Friends fall into that category.

Do you monitor the ties between your friends and your significant other?

Friday, April 24, 2009

what's going on this weekend?

TGIF, everybody! Hope you're enjoying the warm weather. Spend some quality time outside, and then try these weekend standouts. They're all for Saturday, so budget your time accordingly.

*SpringFest, the free outdoor festival on Broadway in downtown Columbus, is 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Saturday. I was there was a bigger nightlife component, but I'm sure I'll still enjoy sitting outside on my trusty pink picnic chair. Music fans will enjoy the singer-songwriter showcase, which starts at 4 p.m.

*After a brief hiatus, the Saloon & Oyster Bar, 6005 Macon Road, is back in business. They celebrate their official reopening party all day Saturday with draws like music and food and drink specials. No cover. Visit the hot spot's official MySpace here.

*They're not the only ones marking a milestone: Mickey's Pub, 4105 Buena Vista Road, celebrates its 32nd anniversary. It's a nice, low-key, friendly bar which some stellar karaoke. Saturday's festivities start at 7 p.m. No cover.

weddings, take two

Here, The Frisky describes the trend of second weddings. Not remarriage -- we're talking about marrying the same person in multiple ceremonies.

The author dubs it a strictly celebrity phenomenon, adding that in contrast, the average couple is scaling back on their wedding festivities during the recession.

Strangely, though, I've recently been blown away by the number of "real" couples opting for a second wedding ceremony. It was something I'd never heard of until about two years ago, and now it seems like I can't escape it.

The idea first came to my attention through all the military couples I met in Columbus. People like my friend Lily wed quickly to accommodate a deployment, and then planned a second wedding more consistent with their initial images of the day.

That I can understand.

But I have a handful of non-military friends who are planning second ceremonies merely because they weren't happy with seemingly minute details the first time around. One girl told me she's planning wedding No. 2 because her in-laws had too strong a hand in her first ceremony.

Granted, I've never been married, but I do know marriage is supposed prove true love transcends life's minor glitches. Sometimes, when you repeatedly value ceremony over partnership, you lose sight of what your relationship is really supposed to be about.


Thursday, April 23, 2009

what's going on tonight?

Hey Thursday night partiers! If you're craving an after-work drink tonight, hit up Corporate Appreciation Night at The Oasis, 1107 Broadway. All night you can score a bucket of domestic beer and 20 wings for $20.

Tonight's other highlights:

Stereomonster, Unsung, Ethos, 8 p.m. The Roadhouse, free. $1.50 PBR.

Splendid Chaos, 9 p.m. Shanty Shack, free. 706-507-3418.

Calisus, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5 (free for military). 706-568-3316.

Gary Parmer, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, free. 706-494-1584.

secret lovers

A secret relationship can be enthralling: sneaking around, trysts in dark closets, constant murmurs of "what happens if they find out."

But the same relationship can also be really annoying. And demeaning.

In this advice column, one woman asks if she was wrong to call off a relationship with a widower who didn't want to tell his family about her. The expert's opinion:

After several months of dating, a partner’s insistence on keeping you a secret from friends, family and acquaintances bodes badly for a satisfying future together.

Affairs are one thing, but it's even worse when you have nothing to hide and your partner still won't tell people about your relationship.

I've never been in an entirely secret relationship, but I have dated guys who wouldn't tell their parents about us. I understand the idea of not getting families involved until it's serious, but when someone's deliberately hiding you from the people he loves most, you just feel kinda sleazy.

Is it ever OK to date someone who wants to keep your relationship secret?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Do you guys like "Millionaire Matchmaker"? I can't watch the show since I don't have cable, but I heard matchmaker Patti Stanger for the first time when she recently took advice calls on an XM Satellite Radio station.

Stanger's dating tip that stuck with me most is her belief that a woman should have 5 non-negotiable qualities when it comes to the men she dates. If a guy is missing one of those qualities? Ditch him, Stanger says.

Too often, when it comes to the people we date, we dismiss some lacking character traits by simply saying, "but there are so many other great things about him" or "nobody's perfect."

I think it's a fine line because we're told not to buy into the image of a perfect guy. We're also fed lines like "opposites attract," which tell us it's natural to abandon our idea of what constitutes an ideal mate.

But actually, I think those ideas are a little stupid.

If a quality's important to you -- even if it's something as simple as wanting someone willing to scale back his drinking when you ask -- you should hold on to it.

Sure, he might have other great qualities, but why compromise your non-negotiables for someone who's "great in so many other ways"?

yogurt: ladies only

When was the last time you saw a guy devour a yummy cup of yogurt?

Here, Jezebel hypothesizes yogurt is perhaps the most gender-specific food of all. I can't agree entirely -- my dad has yogurt, and only yogurt, for lunch every day -- but I see where they're going. Men just don't get excited by repeated utterances of "fruit on the bottom."

The yogurt piece raises a larger question: Do gender-specific foods exist?

Women are more passionate about some entrees -- tapas, tiramisu, anything from the Olive Garden -- than men. But men are hardly adverse to those entrees.

Can you think of any foods that are distinctly "male" or "female"?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

relationship people

When it comes to our innate characteristics, are there "relationship people" and "non-relationship people"?

Glamour's Single-ish blog asks that question here, wondering if certain people are programmed to crave relationships, while others are programmed to crave alone time.

Some daters claim they have no interest in being in a committed partnership.

Outsiders usually respond with a conciliatory, "Oh, you just haven't met the right person yet."

But I wonder if it's really that easy.

Is "I'm not a relationship person" always an alterable state?

southern seduction

Is there something unique about the way Southern women date?

When I prepared to move to Georgia three years ago, my California friends sang the praises of a Southern boyfriend over and over. These were people who had never even been to the South...yet they were still somehow convinced the men here are the greatest national embodiment of chivalry.

Ask an outsider whether you should date a Southern woman, however, and you likely won't get as convincing an endorsement.

Here, YourTango interviews one woman whose memoir of growing up in the South coined the term "Cracker Queen" -- the Southern belle's antithesis. The Southern woman is tough, and boasts a no-nonsense attitude toward men, the author says.

It's a good image, and one I'd like to believe. But I just can't accept it as Northerners' dominant image of a Southern woman.

More than anything, my friends from other states have images of women here getting married at 16 and having kids by 18.

But maybe I'm just a naive Northerner.

Tell me: How does the outside world perceive Southern women? More importantly, how should the outside perceive Southern women?

Monday, April 20, 2009

the ring thing

Fasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen: I'm blogging about engagement rings.

Singletons: Is your left-hand ring finger untainted?

Here, TresSugar asks if it's OK to wear just any old ring on that finger prior to getting engaged.

I'm divided. On one side, I think letting your relationships entirely dictate your accessory style is a little antiquated. But I also understand how always wearing a ring on that finger can take away the specialness of an engagement ring.

And think about how awkward the proposal would be if you already were wearing a ring.

The worst part of deciding not to save your left-hand ring finger for marriage? Outsiders' suspicions that wearing a ring there always means you're engaged.

Which means you must have a bunch of witty responses on hand, or be prepared to answer "no" on a daily basis without entering the depths of sorrow.


the thing about crushes

Happy Monday! I spent the weekend at Sticks Country Music Festival in Auburn. You can get a recap of all the action with my Ledger coverage here, and Twitter posts from my co-worker Dawn here.

I'll try to write about my celebrity encounters a little later, but right now I want to get your thoughts on something I started thinking about at the concert.

It was an incredibly attractive lineup of performers. As I walked through the crowd, I repeatedly heard guys eye the stage and tell their girfriends, "Wow. She is SO hot." Likewise, women would ogle Trace Adkins and -- in their boyfriends' company -- say, "I'd totally hook up with him."

It's OK to admit these crushes to our partners because they seem unreachable. Celebrities exist in a separate realm, a place where the objects of our affection have no bearing on our real-life relationships.

Or do they?

When stressed too frequently, celebrity crushes can make a sensitive partner feel inadequate. They can also suggest a potential for infidelity.

Then again, if you're attached, it's probably better to vocalize your lust for Trace Adkins than, say, the hot co-worker you see every day.

In relationships, do you reveal your celebrity crushes?

Friday, April 17, 2009

what's going on this weekend?

Hey everybody! I'm just about to kick off my two-day coverage of Sticks Country Music Festival at Parker Hill in Auburn. Performances are 5:30 p.m.-midnight EDT Friday and noon-midnight EDT Saturday. Single tickets are $35 Friday, $55 Saturday...a two-day pass is $85.

Honestly, I'm pretty psyched to see how this debut event turns out. My biggest goal is to interview my favorite "Dancing With the Stars" pro EVER...Julianne Hough. We'll see how that works out.

If you're going to the festival, come over and introduce yourself. Want to check out the action from home? Keep an eye on this page, the Ledger's official source for Sticks updates all weekend.

Not a country fan? Try one of these events:

*I definitely recommend Chain Reaction, the Journey tribute band that comes to The Roadhouse Saturday. These guys are awesome. I saw them the last time they were in town and trust me, you won't be disappointed. Tickets are $8. Doors at 8, show at 10.

*If you're craving some satisfying sax -- who isn't? -- check out Larry Jackson, the guest saxophonist who joins The Greg Barrett Band Friday at Belloo’s, 900 Front Ave. He's worked with big-name artists like Aretha Franklin, Peabo Bryson and Jennifer Holliday. Cover is $5. Show starts at 9.

Have a great weekend!

sweet separation

Now, parting can literally be sweet sorrow -- thanks to one Florida bakery's decision to sell divorce cakes.

This article explains the concept: "the divorce cakes taste the same as wedding cakes, but the miniature scenes depicted atop the dessert show moments of marital strife rather than wedded bliss."

Owners say they're not making light of divorce...they're just helping people find closure.

Hmm. I'm not entirely convinced that amid screaming at the top of their lungs and fighting bitterly over shared possessions, couples are going to take a break to eat cake.

Then again, maybe it's not a bad idea after all.

Maybe the entire breakup process would be a little easier if, even amid their bitterness, both parties vowed to pause and celebrate the good times they had.

Yeah, right.

(via Jezebel)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

wise beyond my years

I like to consider myself a prophetess in disguise -- especially when it comes to the dating wisdom I give men. A sampling:

Yes, you are supposed to remember that seemingly insignificant relationship milestone. No, it's not OK if you make her pay this time. Yes, she will tell her best friend you did that.

Impressed? So am I. Which is why I can't believe AskMen gives its readers this piece, "Advice You Shouldn't Take From Women."

The worst part is that some of the items technically aren't even really advice. Whatever. I see no other recourse than to create my own collection of "advice" you shouldn't take from men. Also known as a bunch of common lines that are overt lies.


"We can get there without asking for directions."

"Have one more drink - you'll be fine."

"Wait up - I'll call you the instant I get home."

"My last girlfriend? She was totally crazy."

"Keep talking...I'm listening to every word you're saying."

what's going on tonight?

Hey guys...sorry for the late update. I've been swamped today with all the advance coverage of Sticks Country Music Festival. Anyway, here are a few Thursday night party standouts:

Mercury Heat, 9 p.m. Shanty Shack, free. 706-507-3418.

Gary Parmer, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, free. 706-494-1584.

Stereomonster, Unsung, Ethos, 8 p.m. The Roadhouse, free. $1.50 PBR.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

humor me

Over and over, we hear how important a sense of humor is in a romantic relationship. In fact, many people argue good jokes can actually increase someone's physical attractiveness.

Overdose on humor, however, and nobody will be laughing.

Case in point: This woman's insistence that you should never date a comedian, a lesson she learned firsthand.

It's great to be around someone who can brighten your spirits, but when you get one of those people who wants to be funny ALL THE TIME, things get draining. Also, there's a good chance someone too obsessed with humor is also obsessed with being the center of attention, and will end up telling jokes at your expense. Publicly.

In relationships, what's better: A partner who's too serious, or too funny?

music of my (broken) heart

We all have one: that song you absolutely used to love, but now can't listen to without entering a teary tirade about how all men are evil.

I'm talking about the one song you always equate with a failed romantic relationship.

It doesn't even have to be an overtly sappy tune. It's just a song that reminds you of a single moment when you thought you'd share forever with somebody. A Glamour blogger discusses the phenomenon here.

As weird as it sounds, I can't listen to Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" without flinching. It reminds me of singing along to a car radio with a former fling, silently telling myself, "This is it."

It wasn't.

Everyone has muted soundtracks and tainted favorite songs. It's a relationship reality.

(via Your Tango)
Accept that fact, turn up the volume and believe your next attempt at perfect harmony will end on a better note.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

potty talk

Recently, as we left our gender-specific public restrooms, Alan turned to me and said, "I had Listerine in mine."

Unbelievably, so did I.

It was a brief respite from the gender wars couples usually wage over who gets the better public restroom. Guys get speed and efficiency, but generally must sacrifice ambiance.

Women, meanwhile, get flowery wallpaper and hand lotion -- in exchange for incredibly long lines.

The divide comes to the forefront with this NY Times piece about the "potty parity" laws that are changing the bathroom landscape at New York sporting venues.

Potty parity is designed to ensure equal wait times, not necessarily an equal number of toilets, experts say.

That's a relief for women, but it's a only matter of time until men fire back demanding their own form of parity.

Translation: Something tells me they're going to see a lot more comfy couches soon.

(via The Frisky)

i married a preacher

Well, at least according to a Sound Off in today's paper.

For my out-of-town fans, Sound Off is a daily feature in the Ledger where readers can submit their thoughts on pretty much anything. Comments are limited to 35 words. Check out what one clever wordsmith said about me:

In your dreams

I dreamt last night that Sonya Sorich married a preacher and he told her, “No more night-clubbing for you.” She was still crying when I woke up.

First of all, I'm really flattered that somebody's dreaming about me.

But second, the scene just isn't realistic. If a guy was going to ban me from clubbing, I'd learn that early in our relationship -- and promptly dump him.

I'm actually surprised by how many people have written me about that Sound Off today.

The toughest part of adjusting to working here were the phone calls and e-mails I received when I first started my nightlife column. People literally told me I should stop going out on weekends and look for a husband instead. Even now that I've been here almost 3 years, people occasionally stop me on the street and ask when I'm going to settle down and have a family.

I don't think my columns advocate a wild lifestyle, or suggest that fun and a serious romantic relationship are mutually exclusive.

What I do try to stress, however, is that there are aspects of being single that people often lose once they enter a serious relationship. And they lose those things not because they willingly gave them up, but because they never found them in the first place.

At least that's what I told my preacher husband.

Monday, April 13, 2009

animals in bed

With time, and just enough affection, you might adjust to your boyfriend's odd sleeping habits.

The nighttime noises his dog makes, however, could be a different story.

In this Slate video, one woman asks how to cope with sharing a bed with her boyfriend's cat. It's not the first time a pet has interfered with a couple's sleeping habits. This blogger details how her boyfriend's dog has a nasty habit of leaving skid marks on the bed sheets.

When we really, truly love a pet, we overlook things an outsider would label disgusting. Say, an inescapable trail of fur on your silk sheets. Waking up with a dog's smelly butt in front of your face.

Invested in the thrill of pet ownership, we learn to regard those things as endearing. And we expect someone who loves us will love our pets by association.

That's not always true.

I'm curious: In relationships, what's your policy on sharing a bed with pets?

(Read more about the animal kingdom in Andrea's blog here.)

love lessons from bret michaels

So "Rove of Love Bus" -- the final installment of Bret Michaels' dating show -- is over and the bandana-clad Poison rocker chose Taya, a Penthouse Pet.

If that's not the stuff of true love, I don't know what is.

Let's not be too hard on Bret. Here, he talks about the arduous process of finding love on reality TV. How did he determine a girl's "keeper" potential?

I would throw them in a Super Mud Bowl motocross race or a grease pig challenge. These are great things to find true love.

OK, maybe straddling a pig isn't the No. 1 indicator of future relationship success. But I think a big part of dating someone, especially in the early stages, is seeing how they function outside their element.

Scenes like watching whether they can find something to order -- without throwing up -- at an especially exotic restaurant.

Even in the absence of reality TV cameras, do you set up challenges to gauge compatibility?

Friday, April 10, 2009

what's going on this weekend?

My No. 1 pick is the all-male revue, HUNKS The Show, that comes to H2O Friday. Show starts at 9 p.m. and cover is $5. H2O is at 6499 Veterans Parkway. Read my interview with one of the dancers here.

And the rest of your lineup:


• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, $5. 706-653-8277.

• The Ranch Hands, 9:30 p.m. Del Ranch Bar and Grill, $5. 334-297-9177.

• Point Less, 8 p.m. Daileys, $5. 706-320-3353.

Corey Crowder, 8 p.m. The Roadhouse, $8.

Haywire, 9 p.m. Saloon & Oyster Bar, free. 706-568-8400.

• Peggy Jenkins and the Bizness, 9 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

PsykNyne, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

Claiborne & Friends, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

Whisky Bent, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy’s, $5. 706-322-3460.


• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, $5. 706-653-8277.

• The Ranch Hands, 9:30 p.m. Del Ranch Bar and Grill, $5. 334-297-9177.

Afterglow Radio, 8 p.m. Daileys, $5. 706-320-3353.

The Unsung, Drunk Bus, 8 p.m. The Roadhouse, $5.

Packway Handle with Brent Lindley, 9 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

Asphalt Valentine, Deception, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

Claiborne & Friends, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

Whisky Bent, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy’s, $5. 706-322-3460.

dress to impress

Does the Columbus nightlife scene need a more stringent dress code?

It's something I wondered after reading this Wall Street Journal column about whether it's ever OK to wear sweatpants in public.

(The answer? Yes, "provided you choose them carefully.")

Fashion at local hot spots rarely sinks to the low of workout gear, but I've definitely seen outfits that look more conducive to cuddling up on the couch than dancing to a DJ.

When I moved here nearly three years ago, I heard complaints about clubs' lack of dress codes over and over. Now, it seems like some of those complaints have subsided, thanks to events like Little Black Dress Night (every Saturday) at Belloo's.

But I think there's still room for improvement.

What about you?

Thursday, April 9, 2009

jobs that impede love

Guys who date me live in constant fear that one day I'll write a book about them.

I guess it's better than the other drawbacks that often come with dating a writer: erratic hours, nomadic living habits, possible beret ownership.

Some professions seriously decrease your meet market value.

Here, Your Tango asks women if they'd ever date a plastic surgeon, someone who's likely to point out your deepest physical flaws from the get-go. The piece got me thinking about how jobs can often be dealbreakers in relationships.

You can't date a bartender, for example, if you have a low jealousy threshold. Firefighters and police officers often keep night hours, requiring extreme flexibility for when you go on dates.

Are there specific professions -- other than hookers and drug dealers -- that you avoid when you're looking for a partner?

what's going on tonight?

Hey Thursday partiers! Here's your weekend lineup:

Whisky Bent, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy's, free. 706-322-3460.

46 Hush, 9 p.m. Shanty Shack, free. 706-507-3418.

Stereomonster, The Unsung, Ethos, 8 p.m. The Roadhouse, free. $1.50 PBR.

Caddle (special unplugged show), 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5 (free for military). 706-568-3316.

Steve McRay, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, free. 706-494-1584.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

downward spiral

Ah, the relationship lessons we learn from Lindsay Lohan...

Salon's Broadsheet blog tells us how LiLo has reportedly gone psycho after splitting with Samantha Ronson. She's chugging vodka and bordering on a major emotional breakdown, sources say. It's enough to make Sam's family pursue a restraining order against Lindsay.

The news got me thinking about the post-breakup lows I've hit in the past. The most dramatic one comes to me instantly: I hit Victoria's Secret the day after a breakup, and could find absolutely nothing to buy.

You laugh, but you'd understand the severity of the situation if you knew about my obsession with aromatic body lotions.

Then again, I guess I should consider myself lucky. For many of my friends, post-breakup emotions have been enough to warrant medical intervention.

What's the biggest post-breakup low you've reached? How do you know when your problem is deeper than a broken heart?

rehab at csu tonight

Rock/rap group Rehab performs 8 p.m. tonight at Columbus State University's Lumpkin Center, 4225 University Ave.

Tickets are $7 for CSU students, faculty and staff; $15 for the general public. Opening act is Ethos. The show is sponsored by CSU's Student Activities Council and Student Government Association.

Members of Atlanta-based Rehab are known for their recent radio hit, "Bartender Song (Sittin' at a Bar)."

Click here to buy tickets.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

gift registries go green

As in, like, the color of cold hard cash.

Increasingly, couples are requesting cash as a wedding gift, the Wall Street Journal reports.

I've obviously never been on the receiving end, but in a handful of cases, I've given a couple a cash-filled envelope instead of the usual Bed Bath & Beyond gift card.

I usually make that move when it's a second marriage, and I already know the couple has everything they need for their home. But I don't do it without guilt: The contrast between the cash and the doily-clad greeting card makes me feel like I'm tainting a relationship with stripper earnings.

Cash as a wedding present: Senseless, or spot-on?

(via Jezebel)

the good news

Your wallet might think otherwise, but there is one upside to living in a recession:

An easy way to avoid hanging out with people you hate.

Now, instead of relying on the often-challenged "something suddenly came up," you can simply say, "I can' know, with the shaky economy and everything."

Don't believe me? Consult this NY Times piece, which describes the rise of the "it's the economy" excuse. An excerpt:

Lavish anniversary dinners, the destination weddings of second-tier friends, costly gifts for children, and, yes, obligations to nannies — so often we go along, even when, deep down, we would do anything to get out of them. Now, even if we can still afford such occasional obligations, the recession has provided something of a get-out-of-jail-free card: it’s an excuse with which few would argue.

The reporter is right. Even if we have a hunch our friend is lying, it's socially taboo to delve into the depths of someone else's pocketbook.

When it comes to no-questions-asked excuses, the economy ranks right up there with "I'm pregnant."


(via Lemondrop)

Monday, April 6, 2009

pet names

Here's my punishment for putting a secret breakup spell on all couples who call each other "bunny."

While a pair's secret languages may annoy outsiders, those incoherent mumblings may also be the secret to relationship success, the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reports. Here's an excerpt from a recent article about the findings:

"You are saying, symbolically, that you care enough about the other person and the relationship to develop your own way of speaking," says Carol Bruess, Ph.D., the director of family studies at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota, and a co-author of "Belly Button Fuzz and Bare-Chested Hugs: What Happy Couples Do." "You've got your own private world, your own mini culture."

A potential redeeming value to baby talk doesn't mean I have to stop making fun of the couples who use it.

What's the most annoying pet name you've heard...or used?

asking dad's permission

When it comes to proposing, is asking dad's permission a necessary prerequisite or an antiquated tradition?

It's a debate inspired by this column, where one woman gives tips for "popping the question to her father."

In response, one blogger for The Frisky wrote this post, wondering if she was wrong to assume that asking dad's permission "was as relevant as outhouses and chastity belts."

I think talking to dad is more a gesture than a make-or-break moment. I mean, seriously, how many guys are going to ditch the plan if he says no? And how many guys comfortable enough to ask the question actually get a negative response?

I wouldn't decline a guy's proposal if he didn't talk to my parents first. But I'd be happy if he did make that move.

Why? It marks a willingness to become not only a permanent part of my life, but also a permanent part of the lives of people I love the most.


Friday, April 3, 2009

what's going on this weekend?

Partying this weekend? Don't forget about the First Friday Block Party downtown. One $10 cover gets you into the majority of Broadway bars.

Here's the rest of your lineup:


• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, block party cover. 706-653-8277.

The Hot Rods, Buck-O-Five, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

• The Relics, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

Forced Entry, 8 p.m. The Roadhouse, block party cover.

Caleb Gamble, 9 p.m. Flip Flops, block party cover.

Haywire, 9:30 p.m. The Oasis, block party cover. 706-507-3089.

Pipers Down, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy’s, block party cover. 706-322-3460.

• The Ranch Hands, 9:30 p.m. Del Ranch Bar and Grill, $5. 334-297-9177.

Jaded Soul, 9 p.m. Saloon & Oyster Bar, free. 706-568-8400.


• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, $5. 706-653-8277.

• The Relics, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

Neal Lucas with Liz Melendez, 9 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

Haywire, 9:30 p.m. The Oasis, $5. 706-507-3089.

• Jasper Drive, 9 p.m. Flip Flops, $5.

Pipers Down, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy’s, $5. 706-322-3460.

Citizen Icon, The Drownout, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

• The Ranch Hands, 9:30 p.m. Del Ranch Bar and Grill, $5. 334-297-9177.

same script, different cast?

Should you be mad if a guy wines and dines you at a restaurant he took his ex-girlfriend?

A reader asks that question in this online advice column, and prevailing consensus is "no."

As someone who's been in this situation, I think it's no cause for alarm. Generally, guys aren't into sampling restaurants as much as women are. When they find somewhere they like, they stick with it.

Also, unlike women, guys don't really attach romantic significance to restaurants. I know many women, myself included, who won't return to certain venues because those places bring back memories of an ex. Guys aren't like that. If a place has a good a steak, they'll keep going there.

But maybe I'm jumping to conclusions.

Is it a faux pas to take all your dates to the same restaurant?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

what's going on tonight?

Hey Thursday partiers...don't forget about the cocktail tasting party 6-9 p.m. at Flip Flops, 1111 Broadway. It's $20, which lets you sample over 20 drinks and appetizers.

Here's the rest of your lineup:

Girlz, Girlz, Girlz, 9 p.m. Shanty Shack, free. 706-507-3418.

Marashino, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5 (free for military). 706-568-3316.

Pipers Down, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy’s, free. 706-322-3460.

Stereomonster, Unsung, Ethos, 8 p.m. The Roadhouse, free. $1 PBR.

Gary Parmer, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, free. 706-494-1584.

bar songs

Rehab performs at Columbus State University's Lumpkin Center Wednesday at 8 p.m. General admission tickets are $15. Click here for details.

Today's nightlife column is about Rehab's recent hit, "Bartender Song (Sittin' at a Bar)," and the art of the bar anthem.

Most bar songs are devoid of serious musical value, but you just accept them as a fact of weekend life. I've never heard a sober person react to the opening lines of "Pour Some Sugar On Me" by yelling, "This is my favorite song ever!"

Honestly, it's probably best we don't have strong sober attachments to bar anthems, because we'd only be setting ourselves up for disappointment. Think about how often those songs are tainted on an average weekend.

My favorite bar song? "Don't Stop Believin'."

What's yours?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

moobs for males

Here's one for all you Wednesday night partiers:

Tonight, Memory Aqua Lane Nightclub reopens with a promotion that will give one lucky local man a free breast augmentation. Action starts at 9.

The contest, Moobs for Males, is the brainchild of a Columbus man who was outraged after learning he couldn't enter H2O's Boobs for Babes competition.

"My friends were turned on by Boobs for Babes, but I was just jealous. People called me a carpenter's dream throughout high school, and it wasn't because of my achievements in shop class," said the source, citing anonymity due to public humiliation over his small chest.

The male breast augmentation seems like an unconventional procedure, but the organizer of Moobs for Males says it's a secret dream for many men.

"Every night, I pray in front of a shirtless picture of Peter Griffin from 'Family Guy'. I'm not alone," he said.

For information, call 706-PUN-KED1. Congratulations, you've just fallen victim to my attempt at April Fools' trickery.

my way or the highway

Brad Pitt has given Angelina Jolie an ultimatum -- marry him or break up, OK! Magazine reports.

Sure, celebrity gossip magazines aren't the best barometers for relationship lessons, but I want your opinions on ultimatums.

Generally, they seem like a massive "don't" in relationships. They often force you to view your feelings in absolutes when things are actually more complicated than that.

And there's something a little disconcerting about knowing your partner proposed primarily because of the threat of "or else."

That said, the ultimatum can at times be a necessary wake-up call when you've been teetering on edge of progress. Most of us hold on to a relationship under the assumption that it will one day result in marriage.

What that hope gets a little murky -- say, you've been dating five years without a ring -- an ultimatum is sometimes the best way to see if it's time to move on.

Is a relationship ultimatum always a bad thing?

(via The Frisky)