Tonight, Memory Aqua Lane Nightclub reopens with a promotion that will give one lucky local man a free breast augmentation. Action starts at 9.
The contest, Moobs for Males, is the brainchild of a Columbus man who was outraged after learning he couldn't enter H2O's Boobs for Babes competition.
"My friends were turned on by Boobs for Babes, but I was just jealous. People called me a carpenter's dream throughout high school, and it wasn't because of my achievements in shop class," said the source, citing anonymity due to public humiliation over his small chest.
The male breast augmentation seems like an unconventional procedure, but the organizer of Moobs for Males says it's a secret dream for many men.
"Every night, I pray in front of a shirtless picture of Peter Griffin from 'Family Guy'. I'm not alone," he said.
For information, call 706-PUN-KED1. Congratulations, you've just fallen victim to my attempt at April Fools' trickery.
