cuddle wars

Want proof the relationship gods hate us? Let me direct you to the twisted world of cuddling.

In this advice piece, relationship experts Em and Lo ask guys if an aversion to cuddling means someone's not into you.

Rarely are couples on the same level when it comes to their cuddling needs. When you're craving a morning of gentle caresses, your partner is on a desperate mission to snag an Egg McMuffin before the 10:30 a.m. cutoff.

When you're craving a night of uninterrupted rest, your partner is sleeping close enough to drown you in her sleep drool.

Satiating your appetite for cuddling can be difficult -- which is why many people have opted for Cuddle Parties, non-sexual nationwide events where people just, um, cuddle. There's even an official Web site -- but sorry, Georgia cuddlers, the closest party for us in Montgomery, Ala.

Cuddle Parties might work for some people, but you only get so much satisfaction from letting a complete stranger wrap his arms around you.

And that value seriously decreases if there's body odor involved.