non-negotiables

Do you guys like "Millionaire Matchmaker"? I can't watch the show since I don't have cable, but I heard matchmaker Patti Stanger for the first time when she recently took advice calls on an XM Satellite Radio station.

Stanger's dating tip that stuck with me most is her belief that a woman should have 5 non-negotiable qualities when it comes to the men she dates. If a guy is missing one of those qualities? Ditch him, Stanger says.

Too often, when it comes to the people we date, we dismiss some lacking character traits by simply saying, "but there are so many other great things about him" or "nobody's perfect."

I think it's a fine line because we're told not to buy into the image of a perfect guy. We're also fed lines like "opposites attract," which tell us it's natural to abandon our idea of what constitutes an ideal mate.

But actually, I think those ideas are a little stupid.

If a quality's important to you -- even if it's something as simple as wanting someone willing to scale back his drinking when you ask -- you should hold on to it.

Sure, he might have other great qualities, but why compromise your non-negotiables for someone who's "great in so many other ways"?