He's not who you think he is. And by that I mean a breathing human being.
Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Thursday night, a male friend of mine was complaining how many times he'd entered a fulfilling conversation with an attractive woman, only to have her inform him 15 minutes later that she had a boyfriend.
His peeve: Why can't they just tell us right away?
First, and perhaps most harshly, they might be lying. I'll be the first one to shamelessly admit that I use the first 15 minutes of conversation to gauge a potential fling's suitability.
If there's no glimmer of hope -- but he seems to be a nice guy inside -- I'll shoo him off gracefully, subtly mentioning a (fake) boyfriend. Is it harsh? Decide for yourself. Is it better to tell someone -- who may be struggling with 24 years of self-esteem issues -- that he brings nothing to your romantic table?
A fake boyfriend seems to be the lesser of two evils.
But there are times when the aforementioned bf is real. I got this scenario from a married friend, who said an early-conversation decision to specify she's taken often results in anger from single men.
"What? You mean, you can't even TALK to other guys??"
Either way, the shutdown can be spirit-crushing. So women, time your words carefully.
And men, save yourself a night alone with the "Grey's Anatomy" soundtrack and just ask if we're attached. Early.
Have a good weekend, fake boyfriends and all.
