Pole dancing for dummies

As promised, here's my highly anticipated column about my brief enrollment in a Las Vegas Stripper 101 class.

I graduated, despite my instructor's critique that perhaps I was holding the pole too tightly. I suppose there are worse mistakes to make.

Anyway, I imagine it will be quite some time before a mainstream stripper fitness class comes to Columbus.

Note to any bar owners who are reading: This would be a great promotion for a girls' night out. Say, 8-9 p.m. on a Wednesday. Charge a $10 cover, teach a few lap dance moves and you're done. Call me for all your publicity needs.

Of course, discussions of stripper fitness classes and pole dancing tutorials usually come with debates over whether the activity furthers female empowerment or female degradation.

I dismissed those issues during my Las Vegas class and focused on claims that I'd burn 500 calories.

Sure beats the treadmill.