make yourself useful

Happy Thursday!

OK, so the week's moving kind of slowly and you want something -- anything -- to help you pull through. Perhaps the pleasure that comes with seeing a really frustrated co-worker.

Perfect. Fortunately, I just found this list of 248 ways to annoy people. Actually, there are 257 items listed, with two blanks, so maybe an additional way to annoy people is by lying about how many ways there are to annoy people.

Anyway, here's a sampling:

No. 9: Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

No. 10: Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

No. 49: In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

No. 189: Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Bob, nice to meet you..." "PROVE IT!")

Have fun, and feel free to give me any additional suggestions.