$1,102 an hour

That's how much I'm apparently worth in bed.

Not bad, especially considering that I've so far been operating on a donations-only basis.

The aforementioned number isn't a result of peer surveys, but rather this scientific device, conveniently called -- brace yourself -- the Gigolo-Meter.

Yes, you read that correctly.

You answer a bunch of questions -- 20, I think -- and then you get your sexual monetary worth. I, of course, will always consider you priceless, but you might want to give it a shot and see your going rate.

Act quickly. Inflation's a bitch.