Slutty cities

Need more proof that Columbus is classy?

Fortunately, our city isn't included in this list of the 10 most promiscuous cities in America.

Calm down, Phenix City residents. You don't have anything to worry about, either.

In fact, there are no Georgia or Alabama cities on the list. Did we luck out, or are we really better behaved in the relationship world?

Portland took the No. 1 spot. Anyone down for a road trip?

Mommy issues

For Mother's Day, I planned to write an elaborate column about the link between a guy's relationship with his mother and the success of his/her romantic relationships. The whole issue was pretty riveting.

Before I knew it, I composed an entire essay on the issue. A little too deep for standard nightlife column fare.

So it joined the many items in my "submit to Elle magazine" file. Sigh.

Anyway, now there's this post on Nerve pointing to research suggesting that a guy's relationship with his mom affects his behavior in situations beyond family matters. Interesting.

In dating, do you pay attention to how a guy treats his mom? Is that a factor in your relationship outlook?

Do you believe in Magic?

I'd like your thoughts on a dating debacle/adventure that's making waves online.

Here's a female writer's account of what happened when she dabbled in online dating and ended up going out with a world champion "Magic: The Gathering" player.

Things didn't end well. An excerpt:

Maybe I'm shallow for not being able to see past Jon's world title. I'll own that. But there's a larger point here: that judging people on shallow stuff is human nature; one person's Magic is another person's fingernail biting, or sports obsession, or verbal tic.

No online dating profile in the world is comprehensive enough to highlight every person's peccadillo, or anticipate the inane biases that each of us lugs around.

By the way, "Magic: The Gathering" is a collectible card game.

I know this largely because I spent a period of time smitten for someone obsessed with the game. It never really bothered me. A hobby is a hobby, right?

That said, I'm certainly not in the position to judge other people's dating dealbreakers. I didn't entirely hate the writer after reading about her decision to judge a guy "because he's a nerd." But she could have presented things slightly, um, more pleasantly.

Do you think the essay is too harsh?

Miranda Lambert and Twitter

I learned a new word today, courtesy of country singer Miranda Lambert.

Twittow.

Apparently, that's the appropriate label for a woman who's lost her husband to social networking site Twitter.

Twitter + widow = Twittow. Get it?

Miranda discusses her husband Blake Shelton's Twitter addiction in this interview, where she notes, "He's a Twitter addict... He promised me, the last time he put it back on his phone after he deleted it, that he was going to keep it under control."

I've never really bought into the idea of social media addiction. However, based on the amount of time I spend updating the Ledger's Facebook page on weekends, my boyfriend might have a different opinion on the issue.

Weigh in: Have you ever lost a significant other to Twitter or Facebook?

One MRS degree, please

Sad news: My alma mater isn't included in this list of the top 10 colleges that produce the best husbands.

Wait, it gets even more depressing.

There aren't any Georgia or Alabama schools on the list, either.

You might wonder what classifies a college as producing good husbands. Glad you asked. Apparently, the list is based on academic rankings, graduate salaries, alumni generosity and campus beauty.

So, um, anyone want to go back to school?

Monday power anthem

Get More: 2011 VMA, Music, Adele

So here's my favorite performance from the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards. Yes, I liked this performance even better than Beyonce's baby bump reveal.

However, earlier this morning I received an e-mail from a reader who noted, "Adele's performance is LAME."

I guess opinions make the world go round. What do you think?

Grilled cheese martinis

My colleague Dawn recently told her readers to try Limoncello. Great choice, but we offer a slightly different variety of alcohol recommendations here at The Walk of Shame.

Exhibit A: This grilled cheese martini.

Yes, it really exists. The chief ingredient is grilled cheese sandwich-infused vodka, unsurprisingly.

I've had a handful of martinis modeled after different foods, but this one takes things to an entirely different level.

Would you try it?

(via Jezebel)

Silent disco FTW

So, this is interesting. There's a silent disco tonight (Thursday) at Bourbon Street Bar, 103 N. College Street in Auburn.

What's a silent disco? Well, it's basically your standard party...BUT everybody listens to club music from wireless headphones, rather than giant speakers. If you're not wearing the headphones, you can't hear the music.

Learn more by watching the video that accompanies this post.

Generally, this is a big city phenomenon and I'm a little shocked to see it come to Auburn.

Tonight's party is open to guests 19 and older. Action starts around 11 p.m. EDT.

Lady Gaga and dating

I attribute many of my dating mistakes to a Lady Gaga phase.

That's the premise of this week's nightlife column, which details Gaga's effect on my dating life.

Until recently, I couldn’t understand why some of my past romantic relationships failed. I found the answer after some soul-searching set to “Bad Romance.”

I failed at love because I tried to sustain affection with shock value alone.

For a long time, I thought the key to keeping someone around was to appear as far from ordinary as possible.

So I attempted to dazzle dates with tales of previous romantic exploits, half of them exaggerated or selectively edited.

In the process, I made myself an alien dater, someone whose obsession with tomorrow’s shock made her overlook today’s realities. Rather than trying so hard to prove I was extraordinary, I should have showcased my passion for the ordinary.

I boasted dating’s equivalent of a meat dress, when I really just needed to wear my favorite T-shirt and sing “Poker Face” at a piano.

Read more here.

Facebook purity

I spend a lot of time on Facebook. Generally, I justify it though my job.

By the way, can you please "like" Ledger-Enquirer on Facebook? Thanks.

Despite the amount of time I spend stalking people, I like to think I'm pretty private in my personal Facebook existence.

I rarely post pictures. I don't list my relationship status. I don't "poke."

Still, some people would I'm pretty active on the site. Consider my mom, who has three Facebook friends and still hasn't posted a profile photo.

Don't know where you fit in the spectrum? Take this Facebook Purity Test, which includes 100 quick questions.

Can't wait to hear your score.

First Date Hell

I wasted some valuable company time perusing posts on First Date Hell, a Twitter account that asks people to summarize their horrible first dates in 140 characters or less.

Succinctly summarizing the experience can be difficult.

But then again, when you think about it, a date often falls into the "horrible" category because it lacks complexity.

In the world of really bad dates, there aren't long explanations or conflicting emotions.

Just a straightforward reason why you never want to see that person again.

Can you summarize your worst date in 140 characters or less?

Everything happens for a reason

Just when you think your breakup pain couldn't get any worse...somebody tries to console you with a tired piece of relationship advice.

Love conquers all? Just move on? Time heals a broken heart?

Those phrases are included in this collection of bad relationship advice. I agree with the items on the list, but I have an addition.

Everything happens for a reason.

First, I don't necessarily believe it's true. Second, even if it IS true, it's not likely something you're going to believe post-breakup.

Finally, the advice shows a serious lack of effort.

What's your least favorite piece of relationship wisdom?

Monday power anthem

Sorry for the recent lack of posts. I was home in California for a few days. I would've announced my trip earlier, but I have issues with telling the world when my house will be vacant.

Anyway, it's good to be back. Kind of.

As much as I missed Columbus' stifling heat and fried food, I can't help dedicating today's power anthem to my next vacation.

Seize the day!

Training your man

Training treats for boyfriends? Don't discard the idea.

I came across an article that draws parallels between Man Training 101 and Puppy School. It instantly reminded me of "What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love and Marriage," a book I profiled a few years ago.

Both writers apply animal training lessons to human interactions.

Naturally, the approach is vulnerable to criticism. You can easily argue it skews the dynamic in what's supposed to be a relationship between equals.

The aforementioned puppy school story attracted comments like, "Any woman who thinks she is going to use puppy training on an adult male is going to find that she's the one shown the door."

Side note to women: Even if you agree with the concept, it's probably not a good idea to tell your boyfriend you're training him like a puppy.

Anyway, what do you think of the approach? Offensive? Useful? Offensive and useful?

College romance 101

Ah, college.

I've been a little emotional while watching college freshmen load up on storage containers and comforter sets at Target.

My college experience wasn't perfect, but I wouldn't mind reliving the thrill of move-in day and orientation.

That's when you ponder one of the most serious questions of your college career:

Will I find a serious relationship, or just hook up with a bunch of random people?

I avoided super-serious relationships in college. Still, I slightly envied the couples who latched on to each other during orientation and remained inseparable for four years.

This article offers advice for both approaches to the college meet market. Which approach do you recommend?

Want romance? Too bad

I'm surprised that our region is absent from this list of the top 10 cities to find a romantic man.

San Francisco took the No. 1 spot.

The closest thing to a Southern city on the list is Austin, Texas (No. 3). But there's no mention of Atlanta, Birmingham, or anywhere in Georgia or Alabama.

That strikes me as somewhat strange, since discussions of our state often include references to Southern hospitality and nice Southern gentlemen.

The list, compiled by Chemistry.com, relies on "data based on the personality types of American singles."

So yes, maybe it's not entirely grounded in science. But I think the lack of a significant Southern presence warrants discussion.

Is the image of the traditional Southern gentleman a myth? And if he exists, is that Southern gentleman unromantic?

Monday power anthem

We're in luck, ladies. There's a male revue at Illusions this week. It's 8:30 p.m. Thursday and cover charge is $5.

Take it off!!!

Getting to know you

I joined another social networking site. I'm now three clicks away from needing an intervention.

My newest obsession/investigative project: TheIceBreak, a website for couples. No, it's not geared toward the swinger crowd.

Instead, it's designed to enhance your relationship.

You sign up individually, answer some questions and then get some suggestions designed to help you "discover more about each other."

I got this romantic "fix" based on the stats I submitted: "Plan a picnic for outdoors or living room."

Um, OK.

Nobody sees your answers to the initial set of relationship questions, and you and your partner don't have to sign up for the site together.

But upon signing up, I was strongly encouraged to invite my boyfriend.

The site includes a private "wall" where you can post messages to each other, as well as a place for you to post your sizes to "help your boyfriend find you a gift for those special days."

Thoughts?

Give back, get lucky

Among the noteworthy parts of this article about budget-friendly date ideas: a suggestion to volunteer together.

The writer cautions that it might not work as a first date, but could make a good third date.

Still...

I'm not sure if I'd go that route so early in a relationship. Make no mistake: I fully support an effort to make the world a better place.

But you have to be careful with unconventional date ideas. Dinner and a movie is a romantic staple for a reason. It's safe. Even something as innocent as volunteering at an animal shelter can ignite tension if your date is scared of dogs.

What do you think? Would you volunteer with a date during the early stages of a relationship?

Healthy breakups?

Are daters entitled to pain-free breakups?

I asked that question after reading this article about a recent conference designed to help teens have "healthy breakups." An excerpt:

To help the youngsters envision what a healthy split might look like, pictures and videos of several celebrity couples who managed amicable breakups were projected onto a big screen. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz, for example, were heralded as healthy because "they’re still friends and were able to co-star in a movie together."

Their parting was juxtaposed with those of Kanye West and Amber Rose (West wrote a mean song about her) and Sammi and Ronnie from "Jersey Shore" (Sammi supposedly defriended Ronnie’s friends on her Facebook page), who each exhibited the kind of "unhealthy" breakup behavior that the Boston Health Commission hopes Massachusetts young people will rise above.

The world has changed a lot since I was a love-hungry teen. Back in my day, we had fewer ways to crush somebody's soul upon severing romantic ties. So yes, I suppose it's good to have discussions about how Facebook etiquette increases or decreases heartache.

That said, I'm not sure you can apply the term "healthy" to any breakup -- regardless of your age.

The intangible parts of a breakup often hurt more than nasty Facebook comments or heartless tweets. There's no magic conference that will force the rest of the world to play nicely with your emotions.

Sorry.

(via Slate)

Tonsil hockey

The complexity of the phrase "first kiss" often goes unnoticed.

If you want to know the first time a boy kissed me, the answer is second grade. But does that really count?

There's also a slightly more complex first kiss: the one that comes in the context of a relationship, when your lips lock amid a backdrop of actual romantic feelings.

For all the hype surrounding first kisses, we often downplay the importance of kissing upon entering a serious relationship.

Case in point: British survey results suggesting nearly 1 in 5 married couples go without kissing for as long as one week at a time.

Surprised? Do you think the survey would yield similar results in the U.S.?

Is two better than one?

When it comes to dating, there's nothing like strength in numbers, right?

That mentality drives a new adventure in online dating: DuoDater, which helps participants find potential matches through double dates.

It's an interesting premise. Here's an analysis of the service.

I've gone on double dates both as part of an established couple and as a single person looking to find a match.

In both cases, there are advantages and drawbacks. The advantages pertain mainly to increased ease of conversation. In most cases, more people at a table = less awkward conversation.

The disadvantages?

Well, the group dynamic can be tricky. Ideally, you want to hang out with a couple whose interactions are similar to your own. The average couple doesn't always enjoy sharing dinner with PDA addicts or "Jerry Springer" hopefuls.

What do you think?

Monday power anthem

Today's power anthem is a sneak peek into this week's nightlife column.

Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit will perform Saturday in Auburn. I'll profile the show on Thursday. If you like live music, this is a great weekend option.

Not like I'm already planning my weekend or anything.

Seize the day!

Too old for hickeys?

Thanks to Jezebel, I found a clip of panelists on "The Doctors" discussing hickeys. Specifically, a woman who died after getting a hickey.

Shudder.

But the post also addresses my initial reaction after seeing the headline: People are still giving hickeys?

As a product of bad teen soap operas of the '90s, I grew up expecting to witness a weekly "hickey plague" upon attending high school and college. That didn't happen.

I've seen maybe five hickeys in my 29-year existence, and I'm perfectly fine with that. Also, I'll proudly note that none of the aforementioned five hickeys were on my own body.

Weigh in: Do people still give hickeys? If so, is it purely a teenage phenomenon?

Wear drag, help charities

This week's nightlife column profiles a pretty cool Friday event.

In Friday’s Downtown Drag-Race for Charity, participants will dress in drag and race tricycles in hopes of winning money for charities (Georgia Meth Project, Wounded Warrior Project, Boys & Girls Clubs of the Chattahoochee Valley).

The Columbus/Fort Benning Cruise-A-Matics, a local rugby club, teamed with downtown businesses to organize the event, which includes a beauty pageant as well as the races.

Each participant chooses which charity receives his/her registration fee. Participants will compete in the race for money raised by the Cruise-A-Matics and donated by sponsors.

The first place winner of the tricycle races will determine which charity receives 50 percent of that money. The second and third place winners will each get to award 20 percent to their charities. The winner of the beauty pageant will choose where the remaining 10 percent is directed.

Anyone wearing full drag can participate in the event.

Phone home. Or not.

Tell me if this sounds familiar: "If you need to get in touch, send me a Facebook message. I lost my phone again."

It seems like I see that status update at least once a week. Usually on Sunday mornings.

Fortunately, Jezebel has this handy guide for what to do if you get drunk and lose your phone and wallet. An excerpt:

The first thing you should do when you realize your phone is missing is to try to call it. If someone picks up and offers to return it, great! You've found a human unicorn!

If there's no answer or it goes straight to voicemail, borrow someone else's phone, call your provider immediately and suspend service on your line. This isn't the same as cancelling; you can always restart service again if you find your phone.

I've temporarily misplaced my phone in the past, but I've had no major casualties. Perhaps that's because I have an old-school calling device that can't access the Internet. It's not exactly a hot item on the market right now.

Probably my biggest moment of panic was when I realized my phone had been sitting in a Winn-Dixie for hours. I arrived, introduced myself and found my phone waiting for me at the customer service desk.

Crisis averted.

Share your cell phone horror stories in the comments section.

Parenthood

The premise of this story is interesting enough: a couple who got married after being friends for 15 years.

But the story's setup is equally intriguing. A daughter interviews her parents about their courtship.

I'm embarrassed that I know only basic facts about how my parents met. It's not due to a lack of curiosity, but rather the invisible divide that makes you reluctant to view your parents as something other than authority figures.

Of course, they are humans, too -- people who fall in love, put their feelings on the line and even get hurt.

It's sometimes challenging to understand that aspect of your parents' lives without losing them as, well, parents. Does that make sense?

Sadly, we often become most aware of our parents' humanness when it's too late to conduct life's most revealing interviews.

Too hot to handle

Excuse me while I try to remember my name.

Sound familiar? If so, you've probably had an encounter with a Really Ridiculously Good-Looking Person.

A Glamour writer describes the phenomenon here, offering seven ways to keep your cool during encounters with hot people.

I've never been smitten enough to totally embarrass myself, though I can remember some cringe-worthy moments involving junior high crushes.

And yes, even as an adult I've had some moments when love-induced stomach butterflies have temporarily hindered my speech patterns.

But hey...it reminds us we're human, right?

Awkward pregnancy photos

I had a minor life crisis Sunday afternoon, when the first three status updates on my Facebook wall pertained to either baby showers or pregnancy announcements.

Panic.

I relied on my usual recovery routine, reminding myself that it wouldn't be as easy to watch an uninterrupted marathon of "Jersey Shore" if I had a mini-me prancing around the living room.

While I know I'd enjoy aspects of pregnancy/motherhood, there are also parts that give me the hibbie jibbies.

Take, for example, pregnancy photos.

This gallery of awkward pregnancy photos gave me another reason to fear the bare belly photo shoots.

So yeah, I'm OK with a flat belly lifestyle for now.

Married by computer

Would you let a computer preside over your wedding?

It's been done -- just read this couple's story. Of course, the article notes computers don't yet have the credentials to officially marry couples.

For some reason, I don't have a huge problem with the possibility of computer ministers. I'm more likely to take issue with other technology-based offenses, like couples who live-tweet their weddings.

That said, I can't imagine myself shedding a tear while a robotic voice tells a groom to kiss his bride.

And if you choose the computer route, I'll have no sympathy when your minister freezes mid-ceremony.

Power anthem: Shark Week edition

Today's power anthem honors Shark Week, currently under way on the Discovery Channel. Any Shark Week fans out there?

Seize the day!