are you wearing space pants?

Because your booty is out of this world.
OK, OK...insert groan here. My mention of pickup lines in an earlier post today got me thinking of the many bad conversation starters I've heard since moving here. I knew Columbus would be a town of good lines when, after I hadn't even been here a full week, some guy approached me at SoHo and said, "What separates me from other guys is the fact that I'll wait THREE HOURS before trying to sleep with you."
Not to mention the guy who told me he'd have me speaking Arabic in bed.
Do these lines ever WORK?!? A few other verses that stick out in my mind from my history of dating:

*Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock.
*You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby, you're the bomb.
*If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print.
*Do you work for UPS? I swear I saw you checking out my package.
*Your name must be Mickey, cause baby, you're so fine.

Call a therapist now if any of these lines are part of your "how we met" story. And in the meantime, send me an account of the worst pickup attempt you've experienced.
Have a great Thursday!