Thanks to a vacant social calendar and an equally lifeless TV lineup, I blew $9.98 on Britney Spears' newest CD, "Blackout," Sunday night.
Yes, I realize this is money better spent saving South African children, or at least buying an extra round of shots at a downtown bar. Oh well.
So I sat down and listened to all 12 tracks -- equal to something like 43 minutes -- and in turn entered a parallel universe of morphed voices that I initially attributed to a malfunction in my two-inch speakers. Not the case, my friends. Not the case.
I contemplated doing a track-by-track review here, but my reactions don't vary that much. Plus, I have a hard time getting past track 6, "Get Naked," without a little, um, alone time. That said, I'm settling for the next best thing: the five most memorable phrases Brit -- or a manufactured version of Brit -- utters on "Blackout." Here goes:
5. "Intoxicate me, on the rush. I'm a lush." (Track 3)
4. "Me and my girls like to get it on." (Track 7)
3. "Baby, I'm a freak and I don't really give a damn." (Track 6)
2. "Watch your fingers, boy. You might get burned." (Track 9)
1. "Give it to my bummper." (Track 11)
Aren't you jealous you don't have this lyrical masterpiece at your fingertips?
