Kathryn Bigelow & James Cameron

Whenever I do something moderately cool, like writing an article that's read by more than two people, I'll inevitably smile and think, "If he could only see me now."

Of course, I'm referring to an ex-boyfriend.

The tendency -- viewing nearly every accomplishment as a way of proving an ex wrong -- gives me mixed emotions.

On one hand, it enhances my satisfaction. On the other, it makes me feel a little pathetic.

So I didn't know what to think when I read YourTango's coverage of how Kathryn Bigelow bested her ex-husband James Cameron at Sunday's Oscars. The piece's subhead: "Ex-wives everywhere shout hurray at Kathryn Bigelow's Oscar win over James Cameron."

Bigelow's victory is undoubtedly exciting.

But I feel like all the talk about it being a milestone for women is a little cheapened by the fact that coverage of the win still defines Bigelow within the context of a (former) romantic relationship.

I wonder if you ever hit a point where your accomplishments aren't viewed as ways of proving somebody else right or wrong.

And if that never happens, is an occasional "if he could see me now" that awful?

Thoughts?