Life ain't a fairy tale

Need proof? Consult this recent warning that you can catch a bacterial infection from kissing frogs.

Some more helpful hints along those lines:

In your attempts to be a Disney princess, it's not wise to try to fly via your bathroom rug.

I'd also advise against crushing on a guy who's described as a beast in any context.

And publicly confiding in a hermit crab? Probably not the best move, either.

Not like I'm speaking from personal experience or anything.