follow the ldr

Happy Thursday!

Today's nightlife column is about long-distance relationships. It has the same headline as this blog post -- a product of CJ's attempt to be successfully clever.

The column was inspired in part by this recent Slate article, which makes a strong case against the LDR and even advocates a "Date Local" movement.

Why? There are national environmental drawbacks to the travel an LDR requires, the article contends. Also, LDRs hamper individuals not only on health and financial levels, but also in those people's willingness to contribute to their immediate communities, it says.

I used to think that the sacrifices associated with a long-distance relationship weren't enough to doom a couple. If you really love someone, it doesn't matter where he or she lives, right?

Now, I'm not so sure.

I think the biggest problem with LDRs is that you're falling in love with a voice on the phone. There's a certain level of control associated with phone conversations and e-mail exchanges that makes it easy for someone to mask some not-so-alluring aspects of his or her personality.

And when you do get a chance to take that plane ride or extended road trip to visit your significant other, it's like a vacation. You forgive certain things simply because you're so caught up in the fantasy that's embodied in the "I miss yous" in your phone conversations.

Is every LDR doomed? Hardly.

But if you're distance dating, you have to be prepared for the chance that one day a lack of geographical separation might make for a partnership that's a little more real than what you've built up in your mind.

Thoughts?