Smell like The Situation

So Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino from MTV's "Jersey Shore" is getting his own cologne.

The best part: It'll be called "Sitch."

The news instantly reminded me of those guys in high school who borrow their dad's Old Spice without understanding the importance of moderation.

I don't know how Sitch will smell, but I'm sure it'll exude a sense of class and refinement.

And hey, Mike: If you're stumped, try this recipe. I like to call it Eau de Jersey Shore.

*10 drops dirty hot tub water

*20 drops tanning oil

*16 drops chest grease

*7 drops "battle dance" sweat

*3 drops fist pump essence

Apply early and often.