Monday, November 16, 2009

Dinner at Golden Corral?

Nothing tests the limits of love like watching your significant other devour gravy-soaked sushi...right beside crab legs smothered in nacho cheese.

It's one thing to savor a fancy steak dinner together.

However, it takes an especially solid relationship foundation to survive a trip to the all-you-can-eat buffet.

Why? For starters, there's the clientele.

While dining at an all-you-can-eat restaurant, I once sat beside a woman whose shirt read "I will cut you." I spent the entire meal praying my last supper wouldn't be permanently recorded as a plate containing raspberry Jell-O and a soft taco.

Then, there's the staff.

For the most part, they are helpful. But as a friend of mine once accurately observed, there's always one manager walking around like he's afraid the meat chef might kill somebody with a chicken breast.

But the most difficult thing about the all-you-can-eat buffet date is that you must be prepared to watch your lover transform into a human garbage disposal, taking on an animal persona that throws caution to the wind while mixing teriyaki and alfredo sauce.


Check out this very comprehensive guide to the buffet experience. It offers wisdom like this:

Do not bring others who have time constraints, will judge for over consumption, will belittle the environment or other patrons, get bored easily and especially those who are not even planning on eating. You’ll want the strongest support team that you can muster and as everyone knows, you’re only as strong as your weakest link.


(via NY Times)