Monday, November 2, 2009

Post-Halloween Stress Disorder

Halloween's over, and you're not happy.

I feel your pain.

Right now, lots of us are experiencing the condition: Post-Halloween Stress Disorder. Without go-to conversation topics like costume choices, cubicles are suddenly quiet.

It doesn't stop there.

Most of us got our first taste of PHSD in childhood, when our seemingly bottomless candy cauldrons were inexplicably reduced to two flimsy bags of Raisinets.

Things get worse when you're older.

Halloween's passage marks the onset of Thanksgiving and Christmas, holidays that can't be mastered by merely buying a skimpy police officer getup.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but in less than a month, you'll be subjected to the annual slew family inquiries about why you haven't gotten married/had kids/found a "real" job.

On a more practical level, without seasonal justification, you'll be forced to face a harsh reality:

Those poorly dressed partiers aren't wearing costumes. They just have really, really bad taste in fashion.

But keep the faith.

Things seem severe now, but we'll survive this bout of PHSD together -- even if recovery involves a bag of stale candy corns.

And if it's any consolation, I'm sure your Obama mask will fit just fine next year.