what comes before Part B?

Part A!

Get it? Like, Party!?!

Hope you guys have a great weekend. I'm going to spend the majority of it cleaning, since my mom and sis are visiting from California on Sunday. Free meals...holla!

I will, however, likely find time to visit the Shanty Shack (4475 Warm Springs Road) on Saturday night. So if you're there, say hi. Or...here's a test to see if people are reading this blog. If you're there, say "pussycat" when you see me.

Be safe, have fun and tell me all your stories on Monday.

and you think YOU'RE bored

Be grateful you're perusing random blogs right now. It could be much worse.

Take, for example, this guy who's trying to count to 1 million. He's videotaping the entire thing, and watching him count out loud on his sofa is pretty entertaining. He was on 146,159 when I last checked.

Yes, he can take breaks, and yes, he does have a girlfriend.

(That item is courtesy of Pop Candy, another blog worth reading.)

On an unrelated note...before you post that Match.com ad, check out this article that my friend Michael Timm sent me about annoying cliches in personal ads. Your cyber stalkers will thank you later.

P.S. -- I have the shoes the hot chick in the pic above is wearing.

sweet 23

I said it before and I'll say it again...never underestimate the value of Thursday night partying.

Last night I made my first-ever trip to Suite 23, the bar that's technically part of the Mediterranean Cafe (5300 Sidney Simons Blvd., Columbus). But it's also kind of its own entity.

Basically I had the best night of my entire life. You'll get all the details in next week's bar profile, but for now I'll leave you with one word: hooka. 'Nuff said.

But I'll say more.

Hit Suite 23 if you're looking to try something new this weekend. You likely won't be disappointed. It's moderately upscale, though, so think twice before sporting that wife beater. Guys should wear a polo or dress shirt. Ladies, meanwhile, should flaunt something somewhat revealing, yet in good taste.

Drinks, surprisingly, aren't too expensive. Martinis are $7, while most mixed drinks average $6.

Sweet!

eat cheese, drink beer

Even though it's been three years since I left Wisconsin, every now and then I'm reminded of its simplicity. As illustrated by the T-shirt shown above. Gotta love the beer pouch.

The shirt, designed by Brew City Beer Gear, took more than three years to create, according to this article.

Hot.

Hope everyone's having a great day. If you're bored, check out this week's column about post-breakup custody wars over bars. It sounds silly, but in a small town like Columbus, it can be virtually impossible to hit certain bars if you're trying to avoid an ex.

The lesson I've learned? Be very careful while pursuing romance in the downtown party scene. Everybody knows each other, and even though that may be blissful mid-relationship, it's a slight bitch if you're worried about awkwardness after you sever ties.

Food for thought.

what's going on tonight?

Happy Thursday! Here's a sampling of what's going on tonight:

The Atlanta rockers from Connor Christian and the MorningStar Revival will perform a free show at Scruffy Murphy's (1037 Broadway). Members from the act cite influences like Ryan Adams and Counting Crows. The show starts at 10 p.m. Call 706-322-3460.

Rock fans can also head over to Soho Bar & Grill (5751 Milgen Road) to see Stumpp, a Florida-based band. Members boast funk rock with a little bit of hip-hop. The action kicks off at 10 p.m. Cover is $5. Call 706-568-3316.

If you're looking to spice up your nightlife agenda, head to Broad Street Blues (913 Broad St., Phenix City). House band Peggy Jenkins and the Rhythm Roosters will perform. The $5 show starts at 9 p.m. Call 334-297-3200.

Also, Fountain City Coffee hosts a free open mic night beginning at 8 p.m. Call 706-494-6659.

What am I up to? I think we're heading to an alleged new bar next to the Mediterranean Cafe for my next bar profile. I'll let you know how it works out.

whacked

The abrupt ending on the series finale of "The Sopranos" now has a place in the dating world, according to this article.

The newest phrase in dating vernacular? "To pull a 'Sopranos' ending."

It refers to a relationship that seems ideal and destined for long-term success.

UNTIL:

"The screen fades to black, and you never hear from him again. You and your friends will come up with about 75 different interpretations for what happened, but the truth is, you’ll never know. Because when you get relationship-whacked, you never hear it coming - it’s just . . . nothing."

I've suffered at least one genuine "Sopranos ending" in my dating career. I had the most romantic sushi dinner with a former fling, shared a steamy car makeout session and went home with visions of finally securing a new boyfriend. I even spent the entire next morning buying dresses for a future date he promised to take me on.

When he called me a day later, my heart raced. It was, I figured, the moment he'd ask me to be his girlfriend.

Um, false.

After the obligatory awkward banter, he said with hesitation, "I can't be in a relationship right now."

I was devastated, and rebounded that night by buying the entire series of "Sex and the City" on DVD.

Even though we remain friends, the reason we severed romantic ties still escapes me. It genuinely was an experience that offered no warning signs.

Other breakups, meanwhile, initially seemed abrupt but in hindsight offer TONS of alarms. Things like guys who consistently showed up late.

In relationships, are "Sopranos endings" legit? Are breakups ever a complete surprise? Or, if you look hard enough, are there always warning signs?

zomething else

Yesterday I had a very bad day. Hence the lack of posts. You know when you wake up and instantly have a hunch that you're pretty much going to have the worst day of your life? That was so me.

OK, maybe it wasn't that bad. Things just got off to a pretty bad start when I had to have my pupils dialated before 10 a.m., making me dizzy for a good three hours after that. Awkward.

On the plus side, since so many things went wrong, I earned a greater appreciation for the day's cooler aspects. Such as:

*Starbucks' new Raspberry Mocha Frappucino. On the way back from the optometrist's office, I deviated from my usual summer Starbucks routine and ordered a calorie-packed iced coffee beverage. Fortunately, this was pretty much the best drink ever. If you are worried about calories, though, get an iced green tea lemonade. With two pumps of sweetner.

*Tango! For an upcoming nightlife column, I met with the local chapter of Tango Argentino of Georgia. The column will come shortly, but in the meantime I have four words for you: sensual art of dance. Love the tango.

*Kohl's. Coming home from tango, I surrendered to my carnal urges and stopped at Kohl's (5550 Whittlesey Blvd.). Yes, the store is kind of hit-or-miss, but there's a great sale going on and if you have the patience to browse, I strongly encourage you to stop by.

*Zima. Yes, you read that correctly, and no, I was not transported to 1994. At 8:47 p.m., I had an unexpected urge to buy a six-pack of Zima. Stop laughing. Basically if you haven't tried it and you want to drink zomething different, you should buy zome. There's all these cool new flavors like pineapple citrus. Seriously, stop laughing.

Happy Hump Day, everyone!

spiked fruit

Like many of you, I stalk random acquaintances' blogs on a regular basis.

Among those blogs is Foodaphilia, a food blog by a girl named E who went to Ripon College with me. I didn't really know her that well at school, except that she used to come into Communicating Plus, the computer center where I worked, pretty often.

Anyway, I keep coming back to her blog because she consistently offers these gems of food wisdom.

I'm still in awe of a recent post in which she gave a recipe for spiked watermelon. Hollla!

It's pretty much the best idea in the entire world. All you have to do is keep the watermelon whole, deeply cut a square of the rind out and pour some vodka inside.

Then, let the watermelon sit in the fridge for a couple hours, cut it and serve.

Thanks for the recipe, E! I'll go back to stalking you now.

the monday moan

Let the heated discussions begin. It's Monday Moan time.

Here's today's question:

Some people say the best relationships are those that make you work -- on compromises, on feelings, on yourself. Others, meanwhile, say real love should be effortless -- and that after a day of logging a 9-to-5 you shouldn't have to go home and "work" on your personal life.

Should good relationships require work? And if so, where do you draw the line between bettering your relationship and emotional exhaustion?

Discuss. Now.

weekend recap

After the usual weekend dabblings in debauchery, I'm back to the daily grind.

Happy Monday.

Before I delve into the Saturday night recap, I wanted to share a recent phone message from a local male gospel singer in response to my column about a possible "retirement age" from partying. He talked about how you should just party until it doesn't feel good anymore, thanked me for the column and offered the following parting words: "Remember, when you get tired of partying, come to church. We'll make you welcome with open arms."

Love him.

Anyway...back to the weekend. It was somewhat tame, especially since I was both dog-sitting and cat-sitting. I still found time to go out Saturday night, though. My friends and I hit Savana's and Scruffy Murphy's in a night that went from zero to an absolute blast.

There were steady crowds at both places. I think my favorite moment was when a guy came up to me and candidly asked, "If I buy you a drink, will you talk to me?" Ah...the scent of desperation.

I said no.

Another major highlight of Saturday night was the strawberry/raspberry lemonade martini at Savana's. Try one. In other beverage news, I have a huge hankering to try Miller Chill, the new beer with salt and lime built into it. More on that later.

That's about it for the weekend. How was yours?

The Monday Moan will follow shortly...

like a virgin?

Four percent of American adults ages 20-59 have not had sex, according to this report.

So if you're getting busy tonight, tomorrow or three weeks from now, consider yourself lucky.

And if you're not, don't sweat it. They invented Starship for a reason.

what's going on this weekend?

TGIF. I'm almost all set to embark on another weekend of nightlife shenanigans.

But first...check out my article in today's paper about the new Lifetime series "Army Wives." I talked to a bunch of Fort Benning wives and discussed the series' accuracy. The interviews were really eye-opening and next week I hope to post some of the additional quotes here and ask a couple follow-up questions, so look forward to that.

Also...wanted to give a quick recap of Thursday night. I went downtown in a relatively mellow outing that was nonetheless one of my favorite nights in the year I've been here. It had been nearly two months since I ventured out on a Thursday, and it was nice to see a chill summer crowd out on the town.

Alan and I ended up at Savana's (which still has luau decorations up) and Scruffy Murphy's, where we sat on the back patio. I like to call it downtown's best-kept secret. For now. A cover band called "The Cove" was playing, and even though their playlist was initially a little sketchy -- three words: Eagle Eye Cherry -- they actually were pretty good.

The moral? Don't underestimate the power of Thursday nights. They're a good option for partiers who don't like weekend crowds, and this summer so far has generated a nice flow of late-week bar crawlers.

Anyway...on to the weekend. Some highlights:

*Party band Autumn Haze hits the stage at The Vault Friday.

*The Southern rockers from Whisky Bent invade Scruffy Murphy's on both Friday and Saturday.

*The guys from Pipers Down rock out at Daileys Friday and Saturday.

*Singer/songwriter Kelly Buchanan, who says she's "a more energetic PJ Harvey," performs at The Loft on Saturday.

*Blues band MoJo:Saint entertains at Broad Street Blues in Phenix City on Saturday.

Have fun, be safe and tell me all your stories Monday morning.

let's get it on?

Happy Friday! Hang in there...the day's almost over.

Today's Internet buzz is all about this study, which concludes that "sexual stereotypes, in which guys want to go for it and gals tend to resist, don't hold when romantic feelings come into play."

The findings, published in a recent issue of the journal "Sex Roles" -- give me a subscription, now -- basically say that once in a committed romantic relationship, men and women share similar attitudes about sex.

Do you agree?

I, for one, have never seen this happen. Sure, partners generally lose their desire to experiment and hook up with other people, but I think in every relationship there's always one partner who's more liberal about sex than the other.

And, when partners are perfectly in line sexually, there's sometimes another component of the relationship that's failing.

While useful, studies like this risk igniting relationship conflicts -- when one partner feels guilty for having a stronger sex drive than the other.

What do you think? Do couples' sexual desires line up as a relationship progresses? And how much sexual incompatibility would you be willing to tolerate, assuming all other aspects of a romantic relationship were perfect?

what's going on tonight?

Thursday night partiers looking to start the weekend early have a lot of options. Here's a sampling:

*Broad Street Blues (913 Broad St., Phenix City) hosts house band Peggy Jenkins and the Rhythm Roosters. The show starts at 9 p.m. and costs $5. Call 334-297-3200.

*The Cove Band performs a free show at Scruffy Murphy's. The party kicks off at 10 p.m. Call 706-322-3460.

*There's open mic at Fountain City Coffee starting at 8 p.m. It's free. Call 706-494-6659.

*Echovalve takes the stage at Soho Bar & Grill, beginning at 10 p.m. It's $5. Call 706-568-3316.

What am I up to? I'm going to Savana's, the subject of my bar profile in this week's To Do section. Their new strawberry/raspberry lemonade martinis pretty much sound like the best thing in the entire world.

It's almost Friday!

hollering at my bitches

Happy Thursday! The week's almost over, although not soon enough, right?

Check out my article in today's To Do section about aggression among women. It's all about a culture of subtle meanness exacerbated factors like reality TV.

While researching the article, I picked up a copy of the recent best-seller, "Why Men Marry Bitches." Unfortunately, my editor wouldn't let me refer to the book in my piece. Which, of course, means it's totally worth reading.

That said, the book brings up an interesting point in that it encourages female readers to stray away from submissive stereotypes and move toward dramatic ideals of independence. Moreover, author Sherry Argov asserts this is the chief way, if not ONLY way, to secure a lasting relationship.

"When I polled men, they all said confident women are in very short supply. And that a confident woman is what they find sexiest," Argov writes.

She also raises a good question.

Sure, men claim they want confident women, but at the same time many men are still often reluctant to embrace a woman whose success -- socially or professionally -- exceeds their own.

Guys...where do you draw the line when it comes to confident women?

And gals...is there a point when you can be TOO confident -- i.e., playing hard-to-get so seriously that you end up losing the guy?

third time's a charm?

Happy Hump Day!

Came across this article about a couple who recently married for the third time. As in, like, after two previous divorces.

"We must be soulmates," the wife says in the article. "There's something that always draws us back together."

Um...could that possibly be alcohol?

After my initial perusal of the article, I was all about calling this couple stupid. Then, in an unrelated discussion, a guy told me that he -- and apparently a bunch of other people -- believe that everyone deserves a second chance. (Yes, I know this couple technically gave each other a THIRD chance, but you get the picture.)

The discussion brings up a good question, though.

Do you believe in second chances? Are there some offenses that should absolutely never be excused? Does anyone still operate under the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mentality?

Can't wait to hear what you think.

demons & detours

Forgive me, Father, for I forgot to use my turn signal this morning.

It sounds absurd, but now such a confession is not too far out of line. Today, the Vatican issued a set of "Ten Commandments" for drivers, according to this article. The document, which urges motorists to pray while driving, it an attempt to curb road rage and the blasphemous behavior that often occurs in its aftermath.

The commandments range from "you shall not kill" to "courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events."

In addition, drivers are encouraged to not only make the sign of the cross before leaving on a trip, but also to say the rosary along the way. Talk about distraction. I think remembering the words to the Hail Mary is more difficult than applying lipstick while on the freeway.

That said, I don't think these commandments -- "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road" -- are an entirely bad idea.

You have no idea how many times I've been nearly hit by a motorist sporting a bumper sticker with some cute message about kindness. If a set of Vatican-endorsed commandments is all it takes to get drivers to use their turn signals, count me in.

What are YOUR ten commandments for drivers?

the monday moan

Need a way to kill the remaining hours of your workday? Consider this week's Monday Moan, courtesy of a quasi-drunk conversation I had at 2 a.m. over the weekend:

Would you ever dump a significant other solely because he/she wasn't smart enough? Do you think men or women are more inclined to do so? If you had to choose, would you rather date someone above or below your intellect?

Discuss. Now.

weekend recap. stripped.

Happy Monday, everyone.

I'm still recovering from an incredibly eventful weekend, whose crowning glory was Friday's performance by the Atlanta Hot Boys at After 5, the new club at 3709 Gentian Blvd. Apparently I was not clear enough in previous posts that the Atlanta Hot Boys are strippers. Now you know.

Then, of course, there was the luau, which got bonus points for organization among the downtown bars and negative points for -- you guessed it -- lack of a roasting pig.

Anyway, there's lots to report, and instead of rambling on and on, I've decided to offer up some cheers and jeers. Enjoy.

Cheers to the Atlanta Hot Boys. You gave me a whole bunch of material too hot for even digital print, not to mention an expanded understanding of the wardrobe possibilities for a sock. Well worth my $20.

Cheers to the mullet-clad middle-aged chick who watched the Atlanta Hot Boys with the best of us. Age ain't nothin' but a number, Mr. Flex 3000.

Jeers to the skimpy plastic leis at the downtown luau.

Cheers to Party Central, which had whole host of light-up leis for party goers who planned in advance. Like myself.

Jeers to the many occasions in which "let me look at your lei" meant "let me look at your boobs."

Jeers to the absence of a roasted pig. Couldn't somebody have sprung for at least a can of Spam??

Cheers to the special beach-themed cocktails at participating downtown bars.

Jeers to some of the bartenders who reportedly didn't know how to make them.

Cheers to the bars, like Savana's, that boasted special decorations consistent with the luau theme.

Jeers to the bars with a substandard theme typical of a Tuesday night. When even an Irish pub (Scruffy Murphy's) bears a closer resemblance to Waikiki, you know your venue's in trouble.

There you go. Additions? Deletions? The Monday Moan will follow shortly...

TGIF TGIF TGIF TGIF

Anyone else happy it's Friday? Sorry I've been relatively lax on the posting this week. I was busy with an article about overprotective dads. You'll see the final product in Sunday's paper.

Anyway, Columbus-area partiers have no reason to stay inside this weekend. Tonight, I'll be at After 5, the new club at 3709 Gentian Blvd. in Columbus. Why am I going? Three words: Atlanta Hot Boys. Holllaaa! It's ladies-only until 11 p.m., and then guys are allowed.

Saturday, don't forget about the luau on Broadway. You can read all about it in my column here. The highlight, allegedly, will be a pig roasting in the street median. Allegedly. Some of my friends already have grim expectations on that one. Believe me, though, if it's not there...I'm writing about it.

I'm going to have another very exciting adventure Saturday, when I finally hit up the optometrist's office. I'm so psyched. You have no idea. One of my contacts is torn right now and it's pretty much the most painful thing ever. I'm going to 20/20 Eyecare at 2501 Whittlesey Road. You'll get a full review Monday.

Finally, as if my trip to the optometrist wasn't enough to ignite your weekend excitement, I'll put in another plug for Hibachi Express (6160 Bradley Park Dr.), pretty much the best new restaurant in all of Columbus. Try the chicken teriyaki bowl.

Have a great weekend, everyone. Look for me at the luau.

what's going on tonight?

Hey, guys. It's a good Thursday to party in Columbus. Here's the run down:

After 5, the new club at 3709 Gentian Blvd., continues its grand opening celebration with comedy night and a "Thirsty Thursday" party. Well drinks are $3. There's a $5 cover. Call 706-507-0024.

Or, hit Soho Bar & Grill (5751 Milgen Road) for a performance by The Movement, a South Carolina-based trio that combines alternative rock, reggae and hip-hop. Cover is $5. Call 706-568-3316.

As usual, Broad Street Blues (913 Broad St., Phenix City) hosts house band Peggy Jenkins and the Rhythm Roosters. The $5 show starts at 9 p.m. Call 334-297-3200.

Also, Fountain City Coffee (1007 Broadway) offers open mic night beginning at 8 p.m. It's free. Call 706-494-6659.

where's the love?

Happy Wednesday, everybody, and sorry for the lack of posts yesterday. I was busy with work, and you'll see the final product in tomorrow's To Do section. Get ready.

Anyway, forgive me...OK?

I was surprised to learn "Real World: San Diego" alum Frankie Abernathy passed away over the weekend at age 25. She was the one with the inexplicable fear of boats, not to mention her trademark line about being "too punk rock" for the reality TV series.

In other news, my parents celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary over the weekend. That's a really long time to be married. I'm lucky if I can find a guy who will stick around after seeing my CD collection.

At the same time, rocker grrrl Kelly Clarkson, 25, made headlines this week when she confessed to never having said "I love you" in a romantic relationship.

The same is true of me.

I'm amazed by how many people throw the L-word around lightly...they're a breed one of my best friends calls "chronic monogamists." In recent weeks, I've met many couples who met, professed their love and married in less than six months. My mom maintains those marriages will never work.

But maybe love is easier to understand when it's done in the absence of self-analysis. Maybe, by waiting too long for a false sense of perfection, L-word skeptics are actually hurting themselves.

What do you think? Are couples more inclined to use the word "love" prematurely now? Or, does it remain a major relationship milestone.

Love you.

the monday moan

For your procrastination enjoyment, here's this week's Monday Moan:

In the aftermath of each of your breakups, which did you miss more -- the specific person, or the general comfort of companionship? If your current partner broke up with you today, what would the answer be?

Discuss. Now.

weekend recap

Happy Monday, everyone.

Had an eventful weekend that I wish would've lasted one day longer. Highlights included the grand opening of ULTA -- if you haven't been there, you need to go -- as well as my discovery of a new Columbus restaurant. Saturday, I had dinner at Hibachi Express, the new Japanese place right next to Chef Lee's on Bradley Park Drive.

Initially, I was apprehensive -- three letters: MSG -- and my anxiety increased when I noticed one of the servers was wearing a John Deere hat. John Deere + Teriyaki = risky business.

Still, my chicken teriyaki bowl was pretty damn excellent, and I'll definitely be back soon. Call 706-571-8887 for details.

On the nightlife front, I visited After 5, the new club at 3709 Gentian Blvd. Right now, they're technically open on a trial basis, and they'll be hosting their official grand opening this weekend. I won't give away too many details -- you'll read the whole story in Thursday's To Do -- but I will note that there will be male strippers on Friday. Just saying.

Also, I learned that the venue formerly known as the 4th Quarter is now open as a new hot spot called Plush, even though the sign outside still says 4th Quarter. That is SO Columbus.

Finally, I made an appearance downtown on both Friday and Saturday, and came back with some additional reflections on military guys. Stay tuned for an in-depth post later this week.

The Monday Moan will come shortly...

it's party time, bitches

Hope everyone has a great weekend. I'll be hitting up the streets of downtown tonight, following a dinner at Red Robin and, of course, a trip to the grand opening of ULTA (5550 Whittlesey Road).

Although I just found out I only have $38 in my bank account, so we'll see how the night pans out...

Saturday, I'm heading over to After 5, the new club on Gentian Blvd. Get the skinny in next week's To Do section.

TGIF.

beauty and the priest

Happy Friday, everyone!!! Mere hours remain until we get the weekend party started. Hang in there.

In the meantime, today's first item concerns the intertwining of two seemingly parallel universes -- beauty and religion.

Yesterday, supermodel Gisele Bundchen attacked Catholicism's emphasis on virginity, claiming "no one is a virgin when they get married." She was especially critical of the church's stand against contraception and abortion, this article notes.

On the same day, I learned about Virtue, billed as "the world's first spiritual perfume." Wait...it gets better. Called "Scent from the Bible," all its fragrance elements are drawn from Biblical text. The goal? To remind each fragrance wearer of her "Spiritual Self" and God. The product's Web site notes, "Spray your wrist(s) and prepare yourself to begin a spiritual practice that you are familiar with; prayer, meditation, contemplation, etc."

So, um, I'm guessing it's not an aphrodesiac...

what's going on tonight?

Not too much.

But most importantly, don't forget to get your free root beer float at SONIC Drive-In, 8 p.m. to midnight. It's a nationwide promotion.

Otherwise, it's the usual bets for Thursday night entertainment. Highlights include open mic at Fountain City and house band Peggy Jenkins and the Rhythm Roosters at Broad Street Blues in Phenix City. And don't forget about comedy night at The Loft.

Also, today marks the first day of the three-day Gary Waldrep is Georgia Bound Festival at Hoofers Restaurant and Gospel Barn, 3472 Hogansville Road in LaGrange. Music goes until 9:45 p.m. tonight, and tickets are $20 general and $25 reserved. Call 706-884-4186.

Party on!

free root beer floats!!!!!

Beat the heat at SONIC Drive-In tonight, where you can get free root beer floats from 8 p.m. to midnight.

In the meantime, ditch your office productivity by checking out my stuff in this week's To Do section. As promised, you can catch the article about a resurgence in nerd power here. Also, this week's column is about my passion for cover bands, specifically Lixx, the Catholic schoolgirls who hit the stage at Scruffy Murphy's last weekend.

The weekend's almost here!!

cold as ice

Happy Thursday!!!

Today's pickup line of the day comes from my friend Elizabeth, who related an extremely entertaining story yesterday. It goes something like this:

Girl: How much does the polar bear weigh?

Guy: Huh?

Girl: Enough to break the ice! Can I buy you a drink?

Yowza. I think the best part of this story is the fact that it was a girl picking up a guy, demonstrating that bad pickup techniques know no gender barriers.

Thanks for the great story, Elizabeth. For more pickup amusement, check out Nerve's new pickupedia.

tastes like chicken

Came across this site called "Fast Food: Ads vs. Reality." You should check it out...it takes photos of actual foods purchased at fast food restaurants (like the KFC Famous Bowl shown above), and compares those photos with the ads used to sell the same stuff. Needless to say, the differences are pretty striking, but I guess I'd rather have a small real burger than a fake one made of Styrofoam buns and plastic cheese. Or something like that.

If you're looking for something a little more appetizing tonight, here's an idea.

Hoofer's Gospel and Bluegrass Barn kicks off its weekend bluegrass festival with a potluck dinner tonight. Musicians from the festival will be present, and the free dinner begins at 7 p.m. Guests are invited to bring a covered entree of their choice.

Thursday, look forward to a $9.95 Southern buffet that starts at 5 p.m.

The events are in conjunction with the Gary Waldrep is Georgia Bound Festival, a three-day bluegrass event that runs Thursday through Saturday. Many acts will perform. For Thursday and Friday, tickets are $20 general admission and $25 reserved. Saturday, a $30 ticket includes a matinee show.

Hoofers Gospel and Bluegrass Barn is at 3472 Hogansville Road in LaGrange. Call 706-884-4186.

Happy Hump Day, guys!

nerd alert

Tuesday night, I had one of the best experiences of my entire life when I had dinner with the Campus Nerds from Columbus State University. It was in conjunction with an article I wrote that will appear in this Thursday's To Do section.

Basically, the article is all about the resurgence of nerds in popular culture, as well as the growing number of ways in which people can exercise their nerdiness. I won't give away too many secrets, but I will note that in my research for the article, I will note that I was amazed by the number of nerd-exclusive dating sites available.

Looking for love? Check out Nerd Passions, Trek Passions and Sweet on Geeks. Or, peruse the personals at my favorite site, Geek 2 Geek. The best part of that site is a 10-item list called "Why Geeks Make the Best Lovers." Here's a sampling of my favorites.

No. 2: Geeks appreciate their mates. Since you are likely to be one of the first persons a geek has ever had a significant relationship with, you will be treated well. A geek knows that there aren’t a whole lot of other possibilities. Frankly, geeks aren't quite sure how they ended up with the person they have attracted.

And...

No. 3: Geeks haven't formed bad relationship habits. After years of dating other people, the socially successful have become too confident to be intimate, think of partners as being only for their self-gratification, and focus on making themselves happy. None of this is true of a geek. The lack of past romantic partners allows the geek to approach lovers with the zest of a neophyte.

Take that, Brad Pitt!!!

durex and dates

The highlight of my day so far? The best Father's Day ad ever, courtesy of Durex condoms.

Anyway, I might be light on posting today, since I'm swamped...but I just wanted to remind you guys of the Bartenders Auction tonight at The Uptown Tap. The party starts at 9 p.m., and you'll be able to bid on plenty of your favorite local bartenders. Proceeds benefit PAWS Columbus.

Happy Tuesday!

the monday moan

I'd love to hear your answers to this question, something I was thinking about last weekend...

When, if ever, should you throw away remnants -- ticket stubs, mix CDs, e-mails -- of a past relationship? Is OK to still own those things once you've moved on to a new partner? Do men and women have different views on this?

Discuss. Now.

wasted

No, I'm not drunk blogging.

Instead, I'm referring you guys to this article which is all about wasting time at work. Also known as the reason you're probably reading this blog right now.

Anyway, the article cites a Microsoft study that says the typical American worker spends 45 hours a week at work, but describes 16 of those hours as "unproductive." An additional study by America Online and Salary.com concludes "workers actually work a total of three days a week, wasting the other two."

The lesson? Get back to work.

Just kidding. In an attempt to secure procrastination, this week's Monday Moan will follow shortly.

weekend "hits" & misses

Time to recap another wild weekend in Columbus.

Strangely enough, I started my weekend by getting hit by a car. Seriously. Like a real, moving vehicle. I parked in front of my office Friday to meet my friends at Picasso Pizza. I got out of my car and started walking downtown. Then, seconds later, I was knocked backwards with a tremendous "thud." A car was backing out of a parking spot and didn't see me.

Anyway, I wasn't hurt. But good story, right?

Another thing about Friday...I realized that maybe the First Friday Bar Crawl isn't that cool after all. Here's the thing...there's something like seven bars included in the blanket $8 cover. But to get into any of those bars individually, you have to pay the bar crawl fee. So if you want to go to, say, JUST Savana's, you still have to pay $8. In that scenario, you'd actually LOSE money by doing the bar crawl thing. All in all, bad planning. The bar crawl option should just be for pinballers, and people who want to just go to one venue should be able to pay a $5 cover as usual. Enough said.

It's just another alleged marketing technique that could backfire to make partiers even less inclined to hit Broadway. My friends and I, for example, ended up at Locos...where we saw a pretty serious bar fight. Awesome.

Saturday, I went to the Summer Side Show and yes, I was very much out of place among the plethora of goth teens. Next year I'll remember to paint my nails black.

Another highlight of Saturday night was Nikki Lixx, the band who performed at Scruffy Murphy's. You guys will read more about them in this week's column, but let's just say the band's Catholic schoolgirl uniforms worked. Mmm.

Happy Monday!

feeling adventurous?

Forgot to post this in the weekend roundup, but somebody called yesterday to tell me about After 5, a brand-new Columbus R&B club at 3709 Gentian Blvd. I may or may not head out there Saturday night, but if you guys feel like trying something new, I'd love to hear what you think. Thanks, and happy Friday.

what's going on this weekend?

OK, it's 5 p.m. Friday and we're approaching the home stretch. For those of you whose minds are on something other than work right now (read: everybody), here's a quick roundup of weekend happenings:

*Tonight marks the return of the First Friday Bar Crawl. Pay one cover ($7 or $10, depending on who you ask) and get into a bunch of bars...probably six. Among those bars is The Vault, which is hosting a toga party. Party band Beeramid will entertain.

*Saturday, the Summer Side Show is kind of a big deal. Pay $15 and get all-day access to the 32 bands playing in the Bradley Theater. The 12-hour event starts at 11 a.m.

*If you want more live music later Saturday night, head over to Scruffy Murphy's. The downtown Columbus bar will host Lixx, an Atlanta-based party band whose female members sport Catholic schoolgirl uniforms on the act's Web site. If that isn't an incentive to check them out, I don't know what is.

And what am I doing this weekend? Um, hello...partying like a rock star. In addition to that, though, I'm attempting to finally add some closure to my summer swimsuit shopping saga via a trip to Old Navy on Saturday.

Also, I'm incredibly psyched because I noticed the new Ulta (located just off Veterans near Kohl's and Red Robin) will be having its grand opening June 8, 9 and 10. In summary, Ulta is a giant fragrance/hair care/makeup store that was a favorite of mine in California. Even though the official grand opening isn't until next weekend, I'm going to scope out the premises Saturday in hopes of discovering some open doors.

Wish me luck, have a great weekend and please drop me a note Monday with potential column ideas.

good things come in threes

OK, maybe I have four good things to be thankful for. Beginning, of course, with the most obvious...it's FRIDAY! The week's almost over, guys. TGIF all the way. In the meantime, I have three exciting things to report:

1. Go get a donut. Now. Today is National Doughnut Day, and to celebrate, Krispy Kreme is giving customers a free donut of their choice. Eat it.

2. Wednesday, I had the opportunity to interview former "Project Runway" contestant Santino Rice for an article about summer fashion that will run in Sunday's paper. You probably remember Santino for his dead-on imitations of "Runway" host Tim Gunn. Anyway, the phone interview -- which ironically happened around 11 p.m. -- went extremely well. Even though I was left with one question: What happened to Andrae? (Inside joke.)

3. Finally, this blog crossed the 10,000-hit threshold Thursday, and I want to take a moment to thank all the loyal readers and/or stalkers. I'd like hope my words are read primarily by ex-boyfriends kicking themselves for breaking up with me, but if there are people genuinely interested in my ramblings and worldly advice, thank you. Please feel free to keep in touch with any suggestions regarding the direction of this blog.

Stay tuned for a round-up of weekend happenings.