Monday, December 14, 2009

Men hate sweatpants

As you sit on the couch with your new boyfriend, everything seems perfect. Christmas decorations are intact, reality TV is cued up and you're wearing your fuzzy green sweatpants.

Then, he gives you The Look.

It's clearly an expression of disgust, aimed directly at your plush pants. Based on his face, you might as well have covered your body in medical gauze.

Men hate sweatpants.

I base my assertion off personal experience -- I've already told you the story of how my favorite Bebe tracksuit was once affectionately dubbed a "Walmart outfit."

Then, there's the prevalence of articles like this, an advice column where one woman describes how a date once called female sweatpants a deal breaker -- even if you're just lounging around your apartment.

At the time of this post, the article had already generated nearly 150 online comments, most of which weigh the pros and cons of the comfortable apparel.

I don't get the disdain.

Sweatpants no longer carry the flattery value of a poncho. They can be quite form-fitting, even -- gasp! -- sexy. They're also very comfortable.

Call me selfish, guys, but it seems like permission to wear sweatpants is reasonable -- considering all the nights we put up with your torn jeans and stinky bedsheets.

So I'm going to fight my right to wear velour. Don't try to stop me.