This post is coming from a girl who consistently adds extra onions to her sandwiches and orders Cool Ranch Doritos in hopes of having the worst breath in the office. Mmm.
Saturday, I was listening to Jessica Simpson's "With You," one of my favorite songs -- stop laughing -- when I remembered the part in the song's music video when Jessica sports a T-shirt that reads "Stinky Ass." That, of course, was spurred by an episode of "Newlyweds" during which, in a discussion about farting and the like, Jessica said to then-husband Nick Lachey, "You love my stinky ass."
I remember watching that episode and hoping to one day have a relationship like Jessica and Nick. A partnership in which my boyfriend/hookup buddy/husband would embrace my belching and enjoy the marathon weeks I go without shaving. Hot.
But Jessica and Nick got divorced.
And sure, it wasn't entirely because of her repeated mention of body odor, but yesterday I got thinking about the extent to which you can make bad hygiene good. Is there ever a point in relationship when you can burp the entire alphabet and look charming?
What about other things...like being too lazy to get up and brush your teeth after a hot surge of passion? Or forgoing a shower because you're hitting the usual Friday night dinner spot?
In theory, the comfort of a relationship should to some extent erase the burden of keeping up appearances. But are there certain hygiene "musts" that, if ignored, can doom even the closest couple?
Send me your thoughts. And please, take a shower. Now.
