Monday, January 11, 2010

Cold weather behavior

There were lots of bad things about our recent cold weather streak: heating bills, ugly sweaters, low motivation to exercise.

The thing I hate most about low temperatures?

Cold weather personalities.

Yes, we all know it's cold. But engaging in useless banter about the weather doesn't make things any better. In fact, it kind of makes things worse.

Example: Friday, I was running errands while sporting full cold weather attire. As I left a store, a bystander turned to me and said, "You better keep your coat on tonight. It's going to be cold."

Thanks, dude. Had it not been for your advice, I would have been partying outside in my bikini.

Then, later in the weekend, I was walking all of 5 feet from my car to the gym's front door. I was wearing shorts because, you know, that's what you do while working out. Still, another helpful bystander felt like I needed this line: "Hey, didn't anybody tell you it's winter?"

In fact, no. And I'm really glad you reminded me, because I was totally set to sunbathe tomorrow.

Finally, there are the winter snobs -- a group Jezebel accurately defines here.

These are the people who can't participate in a casual discussion of the weather without reminding everybody that they survived the deadly blizzard of '82, or spent nine winters living naked outside in Minnesota.

I get it: We all love small talk. But please, can we cool the cold weather banter for a bit?

I need at least a month to prepare for next season's cringe-inducing line: "Is it hot enough for you?"