Gym personalities

So, are you tired of your best friend's "new year, new you" lifestyle plan yet?

Don't worry: She's one kickboxing class away from a lonely night at the Chinese buffet.

In the meantime, while we're all living under the illusion of a healthy lifestyle, let's discuss the athletic wonderment commonly known as The Gym.

It's easy to go into the gym experience thinking you'll be exercising in the company of human sweat machines, all dressed in Spandex and working toward a common goal.

Not true. Many people at the gym are lazy, annoying and a little unhygienic. Sorry.

Submitted for your approval, newbies, here are my five least favorite gym personalities:

The Person Who's Not Actually Working Out
He walks back and forth between treadmills, talking to any willing athlete about the newest exercise trends. He sounds like he's a workout pro -- until you realize he hasn't been on a machine in the last 60 minutes.

The Person Who's Dirty
Sure, we all sweat. But this athlete takes "unsanitary" to a whole new level, incessantly sneezing on the elliptical machine's handlebars. He also has a habit of shaking his head every five seconds, dousing nearby exercisers with his refreshing beads of sweat. How kind.

The Person With An Odd Exercise Habit
She yells "woot woot" after hitting the mile mark and you think you must be imagining. Then, she does it again -- louder. When she yells the third time, you're convinced you must be on some hidden camera reality show. But you're not.

The Person Who's Working Out For The First Time
He walks into the BodyPump class confidently, sporting bright white sneakers and a shiny water bottle. Seconds later, he's wheezing, drenched in sweat and out of water. He inches toward the door, assuring you he'll be right back. He never returns.

The Person Who Thinks She's A Trainer
She mingles with the instructor before class, and throws around phrases like "new RPM launch." You frequently spot her savoring a power smoothie at the front desk. Gym employee? Nah. Just a poser.

Check out this list of gym rules, and then share your most hated gym habits in the comments section.