speak up, bitches

Salon has a feature about a woman who upon reading studies pointing to females' unwillingness to negotiate, decided to directly ask for at least one thing every day for a year. She details her experiences in this blog.

While I disagree with images of the typical passive female, I do think there are areas in which women don't stand up for themselves enough. It's generally a decision driven by a fear of controversy.

Or, just as often, a fear of sounding selfish.

In relationships, I often devise three-item lists of things that would make me happier. I've even gone to the length of reciting the list in front of a mirror. But I've never actually followed through and publicly conveyed the requests.

There's part of my mind that says no relationship can be perfect, and it's silly to focus on petty things that would make ME happy.

But actually, that's a pretty stupid thought. Regardless of whether your request is honored, asking for something alone can be empowering.

And if your partner immediately refuses to hear you out?

Well, that's an answer to another question.