It's Halloween. Hit on me.

He wraps his arm around your waist, promising to protect you from any ghosts or goblins on this spooky night.

You roll your eyes: "Please. The only thing that's scary tonight is your Spandex-made costume."

Beware the Halloween pickup artist.

The holiday makes singletons navigate the meet market with more confidence than usual. That's largely due to the alter ego-inspired freedom that comes with wearing a costume.

There's also a larger tolerance for cheesiness when it comes to pickup lines. Believe me, the one-night offer is difficult to refuse. I once called a guy in a zombie costume "dead sexy."

Then, of course, there's the fact that women are parading around in even fewer clothes than usual.

Check out these four Halloween pickup moves. My favorite? The haunted house grope.

Also, don't forget to memorize these costume-specific Halloween pickup lines.

Meeting your soul mate on Halloween is great.

Just remember: One day, you'll have to tell your grandchildren you met the love of your life while dressed as Princess Leia.

Need Halloween plans?

Hey party people! Here's your Halloween nightlife roundup:

Belloo’s, 900 Front Ave., celebrates with a “Pin-Up Girls and Bad Boys” theme. Costume contest at midnight with cash prizes for best pin-up girl or guy, most original and crowd favorite. The Relics entertain. Drink specials all weekend. $5 cover.

SoHo Bar & Grill, 5751 Milgen Road, has entertainment by Filthy Wilma. Costume contests throughout the night with categories like sexiest girl/guy, creepiest, funniest, most original and more. Drink specials include $1 Jell-O shots. $5 cover.

The Dawg House, 5140 Warm Springs Road, has an Elvis impersonator at 9 p.m. Food and drink specials. No cover. 18 and older.

H20, 6499 Veterans Parkway, has costume contests beginning at 11:30 p.m. Categories include sexiest, best overall/best group. You could win up to $500. There’s also a $1,500 balloon drop at 2:15 a.m.

The Shanty Shack, 4475 Warm Springs Road, has cash prizes for most original, scariest and sexiest costumes. There will also be giveaways. Guests get a 20-ounce Halloween cup with $2.50 purchase of Miller/Coors draft. No cover.

Broadway bars in downtown Columbus will celebrate with a variety of prizes and drink samples. Some of the offerings:

The new Club 1244, featuring the Whiskey River Live Bar, has a Monster Bash with drink specials and a costume contest. You could win a VIP party package. It’s at 1244 Broadway. No cover.

The Loft, 1032 Broadway, hosts an “Alice in Wonderland”-themed party with door prizes. Dress in the theme and you’ll get a free “admit one” ticket for your next night out. Peggy Jenkins and the Bizness entertain. $10 cover.

The Roadhouse, 1047 Broadway, features entertainment from DJ Roonie G — a nationally known DJ who hails from Columbus. Opening act is the Hell on Air Band. Contest for best and sexiest costumes. $10 cover.

The Uptown Tap and The Vault, 1024 and 1026 Broadway, will award a five-night free stay (with meals) in St. John, Virgin Islands to the best overall costume. Drink specials. $5 cover gets you into both venues.

Flip Flops, 1111 Broadway, celebrates Friday with a “Find the Hidden Pumpkin” party. You could win $250 in cash and prizes. Stereomonster entertains. $5 cover.

Saturday, Flip Flops has its main Halloween party. Sexiest female wins $250, best overall costume gets $500. Jasper Drive performs. $5 cover.

Scruffy Murphy’s, 1037 Broadway, has entertainment from Pipers Down all weekend. Halloween night includes costume contest with gift vouchers for Scruffy’s. Drink specials like $4 Halloween shots. The bar’s outdoor patio is now covered and heated. $5 cover.

Halloween haters

Feelings about Halloween are generally characterized as either "strongly like" or "strongly dislike." This post is dedicated to the latter.

I'm on your side, Halloween haters.

I don't despise the holiday enough to forgo a costume, but I'm hardly its biggest fan.

Ambivalence toward Halloween begins in childhood, when you're repeatedly forced to suffer the blow of losing costume competitions.

Unless, of course, you're lucky enough to be related to the contest's organizer -- a title that lets you wear a generic witch costume each year and still leave with the top prize.

Then, when you get older, you have to deal with Halloween enthusiasts' excitement in the weeks approaching the holiday.

You try to smile politely as they ask their favorite question -- "Have you chosen a costume yet?" -- as if they're inquiring about something as serious as national health care reform.

My Halloween angst makes me wonder how I'll handle the holiday once I have kids.

Here, Double X asks if moms hate Halloween. My favorite reader response: "Do you have to be a mom? ’Cause I just hate it."

This weekend, be kind to the Halloween haters. They're not bad people.

And after one too many stale Jujubees, you could easily be on their side.

Oprah's Payless coupon

Oprah Winfrey is offering shoe lovers a discount at Payless ShoeSource through Friday.

Shoppers who present Oprah's coupon, which you can access here, get 50 percent off their entire in-store purchase through the close of business on Friday.

If you don't want to print the coupon, you can get the discount by texting OPRAHSHOW to 242424.

Remember: Shoe love is true love.

Mantrums

Your boyfriend is silent, greeting you with the pouty frown that accompanies a fantasy football loss.

You'll surely smooth things over by calling his angry mood a "mantrum."

Yeah, I went there.

Here, a Glamour blogger marvels at the term "mantrum," recently used to describe Jon Gosselin's behavior. The consensus: The word is kind of silly.

Seriously, what part of throwing a tantrum is distinctly male?

Well, I guess I could point to seething hatred after a game of put-put...road rage when you blatantly refuse to ask for directions...inexplicable anger over a seemingly fixable computer problem.

Then again, I have my own tantrum quirks -- spontaneous tears included -- and I don't get a gender-specific label.

Unless, of course, you count "PMS."

Terms like "mantrum" only add gender divisions to relationships that already exist on a Mars vs. Venus plane.

So go ahead, guys: Kick, scream and pout.

I won't add insult to injury by defining your universally human behavior with a cutesy term.

Even if you're wearing meggings.

What's going on tonight?

Hey Thursday night partiers!

Tonight, there's a “Flops Got Talent” open mike night at Flip Flops, 1111 Broadway. Participants can entertain the audience with talents like singing, dancing and playing an instrument. Top performer gets Flops Cash and Cottonmouths tickets. Action starts at 8:30 p.m. No cover.

Here's the rest of your lineup:

• Open mike, 8 p.m. Fountain City Coffee, free. 706-494-6659.

• Bibb City Ramblers, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, free. 706-568-3316.

• Lou VanDora, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, free. 706-494-1584.

• Pipers Down, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy’s, free. 706-322-3460.

• Hired Guns, 9 p.m. Shanty Shack, free. 706-507-3418.

Halloween weddings

Nothing eases your relationship fears like tying the knot in a place that generates images of chainsaws and severed heads.

Welcome to the world of Halloween weddings.

I once dated a guy obsessed with the idea. At the time, I thought it was an underground phenomenon. Now, it seems somewhat mainstream.

Need proof? Popular wedding Web site The Knot has a full page dedicated to Halloween weddings. Experts suggest ideas like bridesmaids with broomsticks and Dracula officiants.

And here's a story about a couple who planned to have a Halloween-themed wedding in the Old Dutch Church of "Sleepy Hollow" fame -- until church officials shut down their idea.

I'm convinced people either love or hate Halloween. There's not a lot of middle ground.

If you're a hardcore Halloween enthusiast, by all means feel free to say your vows while wearing mummy gauze.

But my biggest issue with Halloween weddings is that -- like all themed ceremonies -- they risk looking campy, turning a serious commitment into a theme park attraction.

Then again, this is coming from the girl who wants to serve Krystal burgers at her wedding reception.

Thoughts?

Halloween and relationships

Contemplating a breakup?

Here's one theory: Sever ties by Halloween, or you're stuck in the relationship until 2010.

The idea, courtesy of TresSugar, makes sense.

Granted, you're never really "stuck" in a relationship, but it's not exactly fun or convenient to break up during the holidays.

And the thing is, the holiday season -- packed with family gatherings and couples-oriented activities -- comes pretty quickly.

Perhaps Halloween is too early of a breakup cutoff, but I say the road to Splitsville closes after the first week of November.

Sure, nobody's going to say you CAN'T call things off after that, but it might make you look kind of like a jerk. Especially if you've already included your significant other in family plans for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

So if you're unhappy, rehearse your goodbye speech for this weekend.

Just hope a Halloween breakup doesn't leave you haunted by the ghosts of your past relationships.

Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner

Call it a Taylor-Taylor romance.

Singer Taylor Swift and "Twilight" star Taylor Lautner are dating, sources report.

A couple with the same first names?

Some shrug their shoulders at the coincidence, while others regard it as the ultimate reflection of romantic cuteness.

Name chemistry.

We've all seen couples whose names match so well they seem like fictional characters from a young-adult novel. Like Dawn and Don. Or Mandy and Andy.

I know a couple whose last names are different by just one letter.

Here's the ultimate example: A couple with the same first AND last names.

Do similar names have any bearing on a couple's relationship? Probably not.

Nonetheless, names can heighten or lessen somebody's romantic appeal. I remember lazy fifth-grade afternoons, when I'd fill up space in my geography notebook by pairing my first name with the last names of all the boys in my class.

The best-sounding combination marked my future marriage plans, I reasoned.

This, of course, was long before I became an independent woman set on keeping her last name for life.

That's why I'm still searching for a hot guy...named Sonya Sorich.

Weigh in with your stories about name chemistry.

Love tattoos

It's the ultimate illustration of commitment.

No, I'm not referring to marital vows. I'm talking about tattooing your partner's name on your favorite extremity.

Because nothing says "I love you" like body art that jeopardizes your odds of snagging a classy job.

Joining the his and hers tattoo pack? Newlyweds Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom.

Don't worry, critics aren't interpreting their new ink as a sign of relationship longevity.

A common response: "Whatever. It's so easy to remove tattoos now."

To some extent, they're right.

Tattoos, once regarded as the ultimate emblem of permanence, are now accompanied by images of laser removal systems and eraser balms.

So tell me: Have his and hers tattoos lost their romantic luster?

The Big Bang Theory

Oh my gosh. We live together.

It's a statement that's not supposed to be said with surprise.

I mean, couples make a logical, thoroughly analyzed decision to live together. They discuss the pros and cons. Then, assuming cohabitation is a "go," they help each other move into a shared living space.

Right?

Not always.

Monday's rerun of "The Big Bang Theory" focused on what happens when a partner moves in with you -- without your consent.

It doesn't require a lease signed behind your back, or even a 24-7 stay.

Instead, the realization comes through smaller traces of evidence -- say, a designated bathroom drawer that suddenly expands into a full shelf of beauty products.

Or a foot of closet space that eventually grows to include garments for every occasion.

Awareness of the non-consensual move-in almost always leads to relationship awkwardness.

The guilty party often interprets "you're invading my space" as "I need space" and thus, a breakup ensues.

Has anyone out there experienced an accidental move-in?

Men in tight pants

You've grimaced at manpris. Cringed at murses. Rolled your eyes at mandals.

Now, it's time test your tolerance for the newest trend in male fashion vernacular:

Meggings.

As in, male leggings.

This is perhaps the lowest low in male fashion. I have a hard enough time keeping my stomach contents intact when I see guys wearing skinny emo jeans.

Add an extra level of tightness, and I'm gone. It's hard to believe meggings have actually made public appearances in big cities like New York.

The good news?

Like most cutting-edge runway trends, they'll probably never make it to Columbus.

Although the folks at Fort Benning might be interested to know meggings boast a sleek style that likely fares well in combat.

Does size matter?

Calm down, people: I'm talking about how city size affects your dating luck.

In Columbus, I always hear people blame their single status on a small local population. Consider these lines:

"You see the same people every weekend."

"There aren't enough single people here."

"Everybody here is the same."

Sound familiar? Here's the bad news: Things could be worse, small-town daters.

This Psychology Today article mathematically explains why dating in a big city like New York "is much more difficult, exhausting, and time-consuming" than dating in, say, Columbus, Ga.

It's an interesting read, one that shows daters that more potential matches doesn't necessarily equal more relationship success.

But I'm interested to hear what you think.

When it comes to dating, do you prefer to navigate a big or small city's meet market?

Leaving Las Vegas

I flew home from Vegas with no marriage license, no hangover and no newly acquired fortune.

So I guess my vacation was either an extreme success or extreme failure, depending how you look at it.

In all seriousness, I had a wonderful time and was able to enjoy Sin City on a budget that was a far cry from baller status.

On vacation, I have no problem turning off my cell phone, shutting down my e-mail and avoiding Facebook.

I do, however, struggle with tuning out the mental checkbook that incessantly reminds me, "You shouldn't spend so much money."

I made my sacrifices before vacation -- thanks, beauty school haircut! -- and I stockpiled a little bit of savings. But the shaky economy still makes my stomach turn at any luxury purchase, no matter how warranted it seems.

One night, as I paid my $28 bar tab, I actually thought, "I could have bought two bags of dog food with this money."

I know even when finances are tight, some indulgences are necessary to remind yourself there's a life beyond TV dinners.

If nothing else, the recession has taught me to be more selective in the luxury items I enjoy.

It's also reminded me to appreciate those items while knowing their material value will always take second place to life's most priceless relationships.

Halloween: When to quit

Beware the extreme Halloween enthusiast.

Her vocabulary has no tolerance for words like "cheesy" and "over the top." She considers candy corn a well-balanced meal.

I have no problem with holiday enthusiasts. I'm just saying...know your limits.

Take, for example, the devil maternity costume featured above.

Is that really necessary?

I'm all for equal opportunities.

However, I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable looking at my future child and saying, "No, honey, I wasn't at Lamaze class on the night before you were born. I was walking around dressed like a sexy devil."

Embrace the Halloween spirit, heed my suggestions and pick up a cool costume this weekend.

Just remember: You can wash your mummy makeup away. Embarrassing Facebook photos are a different story.

(Photo via SpiritHalloween.com)

Halloween: The comfort factor

It's a Halloween milestone: being stuck with the friend who unwisely chose a costume that impairs movement.

That might come in the form of a mermaid who can only walk one centimeter at a time.

Or a fake mustache that prevents its wearer from consuming food or beverages.

I know, I know: Attaining the coveted "Best Costume" award requires some level of sacrifice.

But comfort should at least be a minor factor as you fine-tune your disguise.

Otherwise, you'll wind up being That Friend who holds up the group. Or humiliates herself by getting her too-large fairy wings stuck in a doorway.

Speaking of the uncomfortable, here's a tutorial on how to apply everybody's favorite awkward accessory: fake eyelashes.

You can thank me later.

Halloween on the cheap

Last year, I spotted a partier downtown on Halloween literally wearing just lingerie.

When somebody asked her who she was supposed to be, she just kind of stared back with a blank expression.

Yeah, $500 Chewbacca getups are great...but if finances are tough, get rid of the idea that you need to "be" somebody.

The black wings featured in the pic above retail for just $15 at Night Moves. Pair those babies with something lacy and -- bam! -- you already look a lot hotter than the night's token "plug and socket" couple.

Cheap options exist if you want a concept costume, though.

This piece notes how lots of people are dressing up as the swine flu this year.

Buy a plastic pig nose, stick a bottle of Pepto around your neck and you're good to go. Bonus points if pink lingerie is involved.

Halloween: Where the boys are

Sexy schoolgirls. Promiscuous pirates. Skanky soldiers.

Lots of people wonder why nobody writes about Halloween costumes for adult men.

Answer: They're not cool.

Most of the getups are either extremely unflattering, or extremely obscene.

In the first camp: This Trix rabbit costume, which will help you sweat up a storm AND secure a spot beside evil clowns in your loved ones' nightmares.

Then, the awkwardly obscene: Refer to the photos above. On the plus side, you won't have to get your message across with a sleazy pickup line.

For more examples, check out this collection of the worst sexy Halloween costumes for men.

Bonus: There's a sexy cop costume that involves manpris -- you know, male capri pants.

Halloween: Creepy cocktails

Congratulations, we've entered the season where partiers will take a sip of a murky concoction labeled "Witch's Brew" without thinking twice.

Seriously, though, I love Halloween cocktails.

Plenty of advanced varieties exist. Some bars serve up creepy cocktails involving dry ice.

But the greatest thing about Halloween beverages is that you can adapt almost any drink to the season. It's pretty easy to sell a regular vodka and cranberry juice cocktail as "goblin guts."

Want to enter the world of seasonal drinks?

Here's a comprehensive collection of Halloween cocktail recipes. Offerings include everything from a caramel apple shot to dragon's blood punch.

Halloween: What's under there?

Ah, the excitement of Halloween. The spooky spirits can blind you to basic principles of wardrobe etiquette.

Like wearing proper undergarments.

Let's face it: The majority of skanky costumes are not of reasonable length.

Fortunately, remedies are readily available. Refer to the "boy shorts" in the photos above, available at adult costume retailer Night Moves.

It's hard to imagine why somebody would disregard the importance of underwear, especially in this zoom-in age of digital cameras.

But plenty of people -- including "So You Can Dance" hopefuls -- think the commando approach is still OK.

Please reconsider.

Trust me, that's what REAL naughty bumblebees do.

Halloween Week!

Hey everybody! Just wanted to remind you that while I'm in Vegas on vacation, it's Halloween Week on The Walk of Shame.

You'll get a daily post reminding you of the holiday's do's and don'ts -- everything from appropriate undergarments to comfortable footwear.

So dust off your sexy nun getup, buy a new pair of fishnets and join me for the witching hour.

(Insert evil witch cackle here.)

What's going on this weekend?

Hey party people! Upcoming event: Don't forget about the beer tasting at The Loft on Tuesday. It's 7-9 p.m. and you'll sample 21 beers. Cost is $25. There's appetizers and door prizes. Reserve seats by calling 706-596-8141.

Here's your weekend lineup:

FRIDAY

• Jasper Drive, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy's, $5. 706-322-3460.

• Laney Strickland Band, Spencer Durham Band, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, $5. 706-653-8277.

• Big Woody and the Splinters, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

• Spent, 8 p.m. Daileys, $5. 706-320-3353.

• The David McBride Band, 9 p.m. Del Ranch Bar & Grill, 334-297-9177.

• The Last Rodeo Band, 9 p.m. VFW Post 665 (Victory Drive), $5. 706-687-6656.

• Peggy Jenkins and the Bizness, 10 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

SATURDAY

• Whisky Bent, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy's, $5. 706-322-3460.

• Asphalt Valentine, Breaking Vegas, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

• Jason Connelly, 9 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

• Spent, 8 p.m. Daileys, $5. 706-320-3353.

• Big Woody and the Splinters, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

• The David McBride Band, 9 p.m. Del Ranch Bar & Grill, 334-297-9177.

• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, $5. 706-653-8277.

• The Last Rodeo Band, 9 p.m. VFW Post 665 (Victory Drive), $5. 706-687-6656.

Mile-high club

Want a second bag of airline pretzels? Give me your phone number.

I wouldn't be surprised if somebody uttered that line when Air New Zealand's Matchmaking Flight debuted this week.

The event, a creative variation of speed dating, put a bunch of single people together on a flight from Los Angeles to New Zealand.

Now I'm sure some people consider an airplane the ultimate meet market...but I'm not digging this idea.

First, who wants to look all cute only to sit on a plane for a couple hours?

And with the New Zealand flight, we're talking way more than a couple hours.

What if you get to the boarding gate and immediately realize nobody's your type? Then you're stuck in a relatively suffocating environment.

Even worse: What happens if you end up sitting next to the Creepy One? Thanks to turbulence, you probably won't have a lot of opportunity for interaction beyond your row of seats.

Let's hope participants in the matchmaking trip at least got an in-flight movie.

What's going on tonight?

Hey party people! Here's your Thursday night lineup:

• Open mike, 8 p.m. Fountain City Coffee, free. 706-494-6659.

• Surgestone, 9 p.m. Shanty Shack, free. 706-507-3418.

• Gary Parmer, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, free. 706-494-1584.

• Boneheadz, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, free. 706-568-3316.

• Whisky Bent, 10 p.m. Scruffy Murphy's, free. 706-322-3460.

Halloween costumes for adults

Some of you are probably alarmed that this blog has gone nearly half a month with no mention of slutty pirates or promiscuous police officers.

Don't worry: The Walk of Shame's Halloween Week is approaching.

While I'm in Vegas next week, this blog will be entirely devoted to the do's and don'ts of Halloween costumes.

I'm heading to local adult costume retailer Night Moves to get the scoop on what's popular this year.

All next week, you can expect photos and helpful hints to help you score a "Best Costume" award -- or at least a few free drinks.

In the meantime, if you have a stellar costume from years past, a photo to ssorich@ledger-enquirer.com and I might feature you on this blog.

Boo, bitches!

Brody Jenner and Kristin Cavallari

On Tuesday's episode of "The Hills," Kristin Cavallari had some less than flattering things to say about the, um, intimacy skills of ex Brody Jenner.

She said things were "vanilla."

In most translations, that equals boring.

After a breakup, some people release all a relationship's secrets...even the harmful ones.

Other people stay mum -- regardless of the circumstances.

Tell me: If you keep a "don't kiss and tell" rule, do you feel comfortable breaking it once your relationship has ended?

Sleeping with Lady Luck

Is gambling a vice strong enough to make somebody less attractive?

Glamour asks that question in this blog post, and I'm surprised at how many commenters suggest gambling -- even in moderation -- is a turn-off.

Next week, I'll be in Vegas for vacation. When mention the trip, people always ask, "Ooh...are you gambling?"

No.

This will be my fourth trip to Vegas. I think during all those trips, I've gambled a combined total of $1. I just don't get it. If I'm going to spend money, I'd rather spend it in a way where I know I'm going to get something in return.

My boyfriend, however, is a different story.

Our Vegas trips are essentially separate vacations.

He wakes up early to hit the poker tables, while I sit by the pool. We meet for lunch. He goes back to poker and I shop. We meet for dinner. He returns to poker and I work a street corner for the rest of the night. Kidding.

The setup suits me fine, and I kind of enjoy the anticipation of wondering if we'll spend dinner in loss-inspired silence.

Then again, I might react differently if he was gambling with "our" money, rather than his own.

Has gambling ever caused you to break up with a partner?

January Jones and Ashton Kutcher

January Jones of "Mad Men" fame recently did an interview with GQ, and everyone's talking about her comments regarding former fling Ashton Kutcher.

Jones says Kutcher wasn't supportive of her acting. She explains:

"He was like, I don't think you're going to be good at this. So – f--- you! He only has nice things to say now – if anything, I should thank him. Because the minute you tell me I can't do something, that's when I'm most motivated."

Now I'm not crazy about Ashton Kutcher...but support is a funny thing in a relationship.

Some people think you're supposed to be your significant other's constant cheerleader, always praising his/her efforts -- regardless of how good they really are.

Other people say a romantic partner should instead be primarily a reflection of honesty, the one person you can count on to never sugar-coat the truth.

Yes, you do look fat in those pants. No, you're not cut out to be a singer.

It's a fine line.

I don't think you need to exaggerate someone's talents just because you're dating him/her, but you have some obligation to nod encouragingly at a goal -- no matter how out of reach it seems.

Thoughts?

Troop Beverly Hills

I still want to be a Wilderness Girl.

"Troop Beverly Hills" was my first encounter with a popular culture obsession. I watched half the film at a friend's house, and begged my parents to let me watch the rest.

However, they hesitated after learning it had a "PG" rating. Ultimately, we compromised: I could watch it, but they had to preview the movie first.

Never in my life had I experienced so much anticipation.

Would Phyllis Nefler mend her materialistic ways and lead her Wildnerness Girls to victory?

Would the evil Red Feathers finally learn their lesson?

Would the movie inspire nations to hold hands, dance "The Freddie" and embrace world piece?

The answers to those questions were yes, yes and yes.

Hands down, "Troop Beverly Hills" is the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever created.

Which is why I'm totally psyched about the growing popularity of "Troop Beverly Hills: The Experience," a sing-along, dance-along, quote-along version of the movie.

If this ever comes to Atlanta -- fingers crossed -- I'm totally there.

Beverly Hills, what a thrill!

(via Lemondrop)

Free Tuesday shows!

Partiers can catch free live entertainment at two Columbus hot spots tonight.

The Shanty Shack, 4475 Warm Springs Road, hosts a performance by DixieMafiaa. The Southern rockers hail from Muscle Shoals, Ala. Music starts at 7 p.m. Call 706-507-3418.

Also, the local rockers from Poanna entertain at SoHo Bar & Grill, 5751 Milgen Road. Music starts at 9 p.m. Call 706-568-3316.

Both shows are open to guests 21 and older.

Stop being friends with my ex!

You go a bliss-driven digital rampage, asking everyone you know to "friend" your newest fling on Facebook.

Then, you guys break up.

Awkward.

Is it reasonable to ask your friends to de-friend somebody...just because he/she is an ex?

That's the question raised in this NY Times blog post. Here's an expert's opinion:

“While it is understandable that it would be difficult for her to hear about and see photos of her former partner having fun with her friends, it is unrealistic to ask or expect that their mutual friends would now disown him due to the breakup.”

I agree. It's one thing to have constant communication with someone's ex...but what harm are really doing by just having him hang out among your 784 online friends?

Has a pal ever asked you to de-friend his/her ex?

Miley Cyrus leaves Twitter

Ah, parting is such sorrow.

Which is why I'm posting a pre-farewell status update, a few hundred bulletins warning you of my departure and a YouTube video telling you I'm going away.

That's apparently how you say goodbye to your favorite social networking site.

Here, Miley Cyrus raps about leaving Twitter -- a move driven by a decision to keep her private life private.

Because nothing screams "privacy" like rapping about your deepest emotions online.

I have yet to say goodbye to a social networking account. The one most susceptible to elimination is probably MySpace.

If I ever decide to leave the MySpace world, I'll do it privately -- with a simple point and click, rather that a slew of "hey guys, I'm really going to leave this time" bulletins.

Does a canceled social networking account require a formal announcement?

Please, you're just not that important.

Even you, Miley Cyrus.

Tell me: Have you ever said goodbye to MySpace, Facebook or Twitter? If so, how did you do it?

What's going on this weekend?

Hey party people! Here's your weeekend lineup. Check the previous post for highlights.

FRIDAY

• Claiborne & Friends, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

• Last November, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

• The Grayhill Conspiracy, 9 p.m. Scruffy Murphy’s, $5. 706-322-3460.

• The Last Rodeo Band, 9 p.m. VFW Post 665 (Victory Drive), $5. 706-687-6656.

• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, $5. 706-653-8277.

• Ophir Drive, Lazy Swamis, 8 p.m. Daileys, $5. 706-320-3353.

SATURDAY

• Thousand Watt Halo, 8 p.m. Daileys, $5. 706-320-3353.

• Claiborne & Friends, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

• County Line Strangers, Buck-O-Five, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

• The Grayhill Conspiracy, 9 p.m. Scruffy Murphy’s, $5. 706-322-3460.

• The Four Kicks, 9 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

• The Last Rodeo Band, 9 p.m. VFW Post 665 (Victory Drive), $5. 706-687-6656.

• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, $5. 706-653-8277.

Some party highlights

Your full party lineup will come shortly. First, however, I want to remind you of some highlights:

*The Funk Legends Tour comes to the Columbus Civic Center 7:30 p.m. Friday. It features The Bar-Kays, Con Funk Shun, Sugarfoot's Ohio Players, Dazz Band and Slave. Tickets are $25 and $39.

*Also on Friday, the Uptown Concert Series continues on the 1100 block of Broadway in downtown Columbus. This week's free concert is DNR: Do Not Resuscitate. The band is composed of a bunch of doctors. The show is 7-10 p.m.

*The Loft hosts New Music from the Left Coast of Georgia, a Friday night showcase that will feature some of the Columbus area’s top talent. It's a fundraiser for the Georgia Music Hall of Fame.

The event includes performances by Garrett Lee, Marshall Ruffin, Spy for Hire and Montgomery Gunn. It closes with a performance by Peggy Jenkins and the Bizness.

There's a meet and greet at 6:30 p.m. The showcase starts at 8 p.m. Meet and greet is $25 singles, $35 couples. Music showcase is $10.

*Finally, Oktoberfest in Opelika sounds pretty fun. The street party takes place 4-9 p.m. Central time Saturday. Its in downtown Opelika, 913 South Railroad Ave. Details here.

Bret Michaels cancels

You let me down again, Bret Michaels.

It was bad enough we couldn't arrange an interview prior to your Thursday show at H2O.

I thought we'd make up during your concert. I showed up to the Columbus hot spot in my booty shorts...and then learned you wouldn't be performing.

It was strange, since your tour buses were at H2O Thursday afternoon.

As partiers realized you wouldn't be performing, a variety of rumors circulated throughout the club.

But now, it looks like the official explanation is illness.

That's courtesy of Rock 103's Web site, which posted the cancellation notice Thursday night. Here's an excerpt from the radio station's account of what happened:

Bret was not feeling well, but helped his road crew set up and load equipment and then went back to the bus till sound check.

About 4pm when everything was wired and the stage was set, the band began testing sound and Bret realized at that moment that he could not sing... he had the flu.

Bret is extremely supportive of the military and Ft Benning and did not want to let anyone down, but simply could not sing or perform.

The site also notes that the Bret Michaels show is rescheduled for spring, but it does not give an exact date.

Meanwhile, a band that appeared to be opening act The Fifth played a full night's show Thursday at H2O and kept a pretty sizable crowd.

I've discussed the Bret Michaels situation informally with some people, and not everyone's buying the illness explanation.

Some skeptics suggest attitude was more of a problem than illness, and wonder if Bret even stepped outside the tour bus. Some harsher skeptics say he wasn't even in the bus.

Weigh in: Will Bret Michaels be back to H2O?

Schoolgirl uniforms

Twelve years of Catholic school, and I still have the uniform.

Don't worry: I'm not hitting on you. I just wanted to repeat a pickup line I first heard in college. It's stuck with me ever since.

But in case you're interested, I did spend 8 years in private school and I do still have the uniform.

Only the hem is a little cluttered with Sharpie-written study notes. And the skirt resurrects all sorts of nightmares involving nuns and rulers.

Not exactly sexy.

It's amazing how uniforms take on a different significance to those who actually wore them.

You know, the people familiar with how most private schools require you to pair pleated skirts with polo shirts...not just a lace bra.

Here, Elle magazine offers a photo gallery of some of the best schoolgirl looks from pop culture.

And if this post inspired you to go for the schoolgirl look for Slut-o-ween, you can check out a collection of costumes here.

The Office wedding episode

Across the Chattahoochee Valley, plenty of people are staring at their computers with blank stares, counting down the hours until going-home time.

Why? Well, many of us are intent on hitting the stripper pole at H2O tonight and showing Bret Michaels we can rock his world.

That's not the only cause for excitement.

TV fans are buzzing about tonight's episode of "The Office," when Jim and Pam will finally tie the knot.

Many longtime "Office" addicts regard the episode with just as much anticipation as a real wedding -- with added advantage that you're able to watch the nuptials in your underwear.

But hold on.

Maybe tonight's show is all smiles, but some people say a wedding is a death sentence for TV characters.

Here, one critic explains why he RSPV'd "no thanks" to Jim and Pam's wedding:

What's left for them to do? They'll have their kid and be parents, maybe one will cheat on the other or they'll get divorced and then back together again, but their story arc doesn't have many possibilities now that they're together (hear that, Sex and the City sequel?).

I agree.

I think that's why "Desperate Housewives" has had a hard time maintaining its steam, and why "Grey's Anatomy" producers are so reluctant to have Meredith and McDreamy formally tie the knot.

Weigh in: Are TV wedding episodes worth the hype?

What's going on tonight?

Tonight's most talked-about party: Bret Michaels at H2O, 6499 Veterans Parkway.

Opening act The Fifth plays around 10:15, and Bret Michaels is scheduled to perform around 11:30. Doors open at 8. Tickets are $45 VIP, $25 general admission. 706-327-9700.

Not down with the "Rock of Love" scene? Don't worry. Here are tonight's other highlights:

• Steve McRay, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, free. 706-494-1584.

• Open mike, 8 p.m. Fountain City Coffee, free. 706-494-6659.

• Afterglow Radio, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, free. 706-568-3316.

• Jason Coley, 9 p.m. Shanty Shack, free. 706-507-3418.

Happy birthday! Not.

The birthday haters are winning.

At least that's the conclusion of this essay, which suggests the recession is curbing our obsession with "birthday mania." An excerpt:

Birthday haters appear to be winning hearts and minds because America is poorer, more secular, and more tired than it used to be.

Am I disappointed? No way.

Once I hit my 20s, I noticed a growing trend of friends expecting multi-day celebrations.

We'd indulge in a fancy dinner, and part ways with this unexpected goodbye: "Hope you guys can come to my real party tomorrow."

Huh?

In the absence of structured classroom parties with cupcakes and cheesy hats, the 20-something bday celebration has potential to transform into a multi-day beast. One who preys on the wallets and patience of its closest comrades.

Frankly, it's something I can do without.

So thanks, recession.

You've made great strides in underscoring what a birthday should really be: just one day.

What's going on tonight?

Happy Hump Day, partiers! Something tells me you're craving a little nightlife foreplay to prime you for Thursday's Bret Michaels show at H2O.

No problem.

Here are some Wednesday night party options:

*T.G.I. Fridays, 3116 Adams Farm Drive, hosts the local installment of the restaurant chain's World Bartender Championship. Action starts at 6 p.m. No cover, but donations for the Make-A-Wish foundation will be accepted. Open to guests 18 and older.

*SoHo Bar & Grill, 5751 Milgen Road, hosts a free show by Douglas, Ala.-based Hidden Element.

*Finally, don't forget about the $5 Ladies Night menu available every Wednesday and Thursday at Belloo's, 900 Front Ave. Action starts at 7 p.m. No cover.

Trash The Dress

I recently wrote about re-wearing your wedding dress on the nightlife scene. Now, consider this idea: re-wearing your wedding dress...and covering it in spray paint.

The Today Show recently profiled the "Trash The Dress" phenomenon, in which brides literally trash their gowns post-wedding.

The process can include swimming in your wedding dress, rolling in paint and more. Check out a collection of the photos here.

It's an intriguing process, one many women are willing to define as art.

But not everyone's impressed.

Trash The Dress is often perceived as a selfish concept, as noted in this Jezebel post.

The argument: Why savor destruction for destruction's sake when you can donate your gown to organizations like this one, a charity that helps dress African brides?

Then again, when you start asking questions like that, you risk entering the point of no return. Weddings in our country are driven by excess, and you can just as easily ask a bride why she's spending hundreds on a band that sounds just as good as the tunes on her iPod.

The point is, no matter how frivolous they seem, wedding-related decisions have value to the couple at the ceremony's center.

Especially amid our shaky economy, it's important to remember that everyone views love and commitment differently.

Sometimes, it takes an expensive photo shoot to cement your marital bond. Other times, the task requires nothing more than a few frozen dinners and some cheap reality TV.

McDonald's Monopoly game 2009

Every October, I let myself gain 5 pounds.

Is it a result of trick or treat candy? No. Pumpkin spice lattes? Nope.

Ladies and gentlemen, I surrender in the battle of the bulge simply because I love playing McDonald's Monopoly.

The game, which starts today and runs through Nov. 2, is perhaps the greatest invention ever. You know, aside from real Monopoly.

For the uninitiated, McDonald's Monopoly lets you collect game pieces -- available on select food and drink items -- in hopes of winning free food, cash and other prizes.

It epitomizes the competitive spirit that drives our nation.

Nothing represents the American dream better than earning your fortune by powering through a plate full of Angus Burgers.

I do have couple criticisms of this year's game.

There's no reason why Monopoly pieces shouldn't be included on Big Macs -- the cornerstone of the fast-food chain's popularity. Also, the pieces aren't offered on any breakfast sandwiches.

Will I give up my 5-pound tradition this year?

Yes.

But only because I'm going for 10.

Super size me, baby.

Free Tuesday shows!

Partiers can enjoy free live entertainment at two local hot spots tonight.

The Shanty Shack, 4475 Warm Springs Road, hosts a performance by local party band Big Woody and the Splinters. Music starts at 7 p.m. Call 706-507-3418.

Also, the local rockers from Poanna entertain at SoHo Bar & Grill, 5751 Milgen Road. Music starts at 9 p.m. Call 706-568-3316.

Both shows are open to guests 21 and older.

Versatile wedding dresses

You peruse your closet, searching for the perfect dress to wear at tonight's formal dinner. Nothing looks appealing -- until this thought hits you:

"Hmm...my wedding dress might work."

Hey, it could happen.

The Frisky describes a new bridal collection featuring gowns that can be converted into nightlife-friendly party dresses.

It's a great idea for people who hate shelling out hundreds of dollars for a dress they'll only wear once.

But some women say creating a wedding dress that can be re-worn detracts from the gown's specialness.

Where do you stand?

Getting schooled

Listen up, young readers: Your choice in higher education has lifelong implications.

The name of your college follows you to internships, job interviews...and the local meet market.

Huh?

Here, The New York Times tells us about the Ivy Plus Society, an extended alumni club. Membership is open to alums of schools like Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Columbia, Dartmouth and Washington University in St. Louis.

(Washington U alums can only join if they attended medical school there.)

At the club's gatherings, 75 percent of attendees are single. An excerpt:

To the cynically inclined, Ivy Plus is a meet market for the pedigreed. One young Dartmouth graduate, declining to give his name, said: “It’s a singles party masquerading as a networking event. Look around, it’s clusters of guys and girls just staring at each other.”

My alma mater occasionally surfaces during my trips to the meet market.

However, the discussion usually ends when I explain my obscure Wisconsin college by noting, "Harrison Ford went there, but didn't graduate."

Upon entering the "real world," many of us regard college only as a place where we fine-tuned our resumes and mastered the zen of beer pong.

But I've heard of 20- and 30-somethings who have dismissed potential dates because an Ivy League label was intimidating.

Or because the fellow singleton attended a college that was the dater's athletic rival.

Tell me: When it comes to dating, does your alma mater matter?

What's going on this weekend?

Here's your party lineup. Check out my list of highlights in the post below. Have a great weekend!

FRIDAY

• The Fletcher Melon Band, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

• Lou Vandora, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

• Gringo Star, 9 p.m. The Loft, block party cover. 706-596-8141.

• Filthy Gamble, 8 p.m. Daileys, block party cover. 706-320-3353.

• The Last Rodeo Band, 9 p.m. VFW Post 665 (Victory Drive), $5. 706-687-6656.

• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, block party cover. 706-653-8277.

• Spent, 9 p.m. Saloon Oyster Bar & Steakhouse, free. 706-568-8400.

SATURDAY

• The Debutante Massacre, Two Thirteen, Nik Flagstar, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5. 706-568-3316.

• Big Woody and the Splinters, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, $5. 706-494-1584.

• Boneheadz, 9 p.m. Del Ranch Bar & Grill, $5. 334-297-9177.

• Player/Kommander with DJ Coco, 10:30 p.m. H2O, free. 706-327-9700.

• The Good Doctors, 9 p.m. The Loft, $5. 706-596-8141.

• The Last Rodeo Band, 9 p.m. VFW Post 665 (Victory Drive), $5. 706-687-6656.

• Dueling pianos, 10 p.m. The Vault, $5. 706-653-8277.

Some party highlights

Hey party people! Your full lineup is coming soon, but I wanted to remind you of some standout options.

Friday, the Uptown Concert Series resumes on the 1100 block of Broadway. Big Woody and the Splinters perform 7-10 p.m.

There's a First Friday Block Party. One $10 cover gets you into the majority of Broadway hot spots.

Saturday, the Shanty Shack (4475 Warm Springs Road) hosts Bikefest beginning at 11 a.m. There's a bike wash noon-2 p.m. It's a fundraiser for Mark Tyron, a tree surgeon who suffered major injuries after a massive fall. The Grayhill Conspiracy and Blackberry Smoke perform.

Also on Saturday, H2O hosts a performance by Player/Kommander with DJ Coco. This show sounds really cool, especially if you're into DJ mash-ups. DJ Coco is from England and his mixes sound pretty sweet. Listen to his stuff here.

The best part of the H2O show? It's free. The club's at 6499 Veterans Parkway.

Beauty school dropout

I don't like being asked when I'm going to get married.

Even more so, I don't like getting that question from someone who, if unsatisfied with my answer, could make me look like Felicity...during her bad years.

This is one of the reasons why I dread getting my hair cut.

The other reason is the price. With my curly locks, it's hard not to leave a salon without paying close to $200 for a cut and highlights.

This week, I faced a dilemma. My hair was in bad shape and I wanted to get it touched up before heading to Las Vegas in two weeks.

Make no mistake: I've found a few great hairdressers in the Columbus area.

But unfortunately, their price tags aren't designed for someone who's saving up for a very posh birthday dinner in Vegas for her boyfriend.

So I did something radical: I hit up Rivertown School of Beauty.

Consider it the greatest discovery EVER. My total cost for a cut and highlights was just over $40. They also do pedicures, manicures, facials and waxing.

Was I nervous? Of course. But my stylist was actually more competent than some of the hairdressers who have charged me $100. And instructors supervise the students the whole time.

Sure, you don't have the ambiance of a traditional spa setting. But that's only a minor drawback.

Nobody tried to sell me overpriced styling products.

And never once was I asked why I don't have a ring on my left finger.

Keep it in the family

I like you, but I LOVE your mom's broccoli casserole.

This Huffington Post essay underscores a relationship reality: We often date not only for the joy of private cuddling time, but also for the promise of a second family.

Sure, we might romanticize our perception of in-laws.

After the initial meet and greet, glossy notions of wearing color-coordinated sweaters on Thanksgiving often transform into plastic smiles and a lapse in conversation topics.

Still, I think it's a little endearing that even amid in-law stereotypes, so many of us still look forward to building a relationship with someone else's relatives.

Which begs this question:

After breaking up with a significant other, is it possible to keep dating his/her family?

(via YourTango)

What's going on tonight?

Hey party people! Here's your Thursday lineup:

• Lou Vandora, 9 p.m. Belloo’s, free. 706-494-1584.

• The Grayhill Conspiracy, 9 p.m. Shanty Shack, free. 706-507-3418.

• PeeWee Moore and The Dreadful Awful Snakes, 10 p.m. SoHo Bar & Grill, $5 (free for military). 706-568-3316.

• Open mike, 8 p.m. Fountain City Coffee, free. 706-494-6659.