When I walked into Columbus nightclub Memory Lane Saturday, I hardly imagined I'd be returning to my days on my high school's Model United Nations team.
OK, I realize I just became significantly less cool by disclosing my participation on MUN. Please keep reading.
Anyway, I went to Memory Lane for a column I'm writing this week. I won't give away too many details before then, but I will disclose a slight anecdote for your Monday enjoyment. There was some sort of international rugby tournament at Fort Benning over the weekend, and apparently a whole bunch of the local guys told their foreign visitors that Memory Lane was the best place to visit if they wanted to, um, taste some Southern peaches prior to returning home.
I never really got the whole "Memory Lane is a good place to get laid" idea. The nightclub caters to an older clientele, and my co-worker Brad says this heightens a guy's likelihood of getting action, since there's a lower chance they'll have to deal with a 20-something's mind games. The tradeoff? Um, hello, you're banging Mrs. Garrett from "Facts of Life."
So I spent an entire night entertaining pickup lines that weren't only cheesy, but required a pocket-size digital translator. Sweet.
I think the highlight of the night was the bald-headed guy I met from Cardiff (the capital of Wales). First, he totally sounded exactly like Shrek. Second, after a night of following me around, he finally admitted, "The guys from Fort Benning told me I'd find beautiful American women here, and you're the only one I've found so far."
Score!
Read more on "Memory Lane" in my column in this week's To Do section. Additional weekend details will follow.
