"You're Sonya Sorich. He has to like you at least a little bit."
--A random acquaintance, midway through one of my erratic attempts to decipher boys
That quote was a highlight in an otherwise stressful and drama-packed (read: horrible) weekend. It wasn't entirely devoid of good points, however. My haircut at Salon Bellage was probably one of my most successful grooming experiences ever, and on Saturday I learned my little sis in California was named prom queen. Probably because she was wearing one of those dresses made out of condoms. Kidding.
That said, the rest of the weekend left a lot to be desired. Nothing major -- and hey, I could have had pinkeye like Lisa -- and the majority of it was stuff that could be reserved for an episode of "Laguna Beach." Or "When Animals Attack." (I was dog-sitting.)
Still, I'd like to discuss some of the weekend's major low points, most of which pertain to cell phone etiquette. No, I'm not going to rant again about missed calls. OK. First, if you're on the phone and see an incredibly important number come up on "call waiting" -- an urgent call that will require a 15-minute conversation -- do not put the other person on hold. Simply explain the situation and hang up.
Also, if your phone is going to run out of batteries or be out of range in less than three minutes, do not call anybody. Doing so is rude. And, if you absolutely must call somebody, preface the call with, "Hey, my phone's gonna die in two minutes, but I just wanted to call you really quickly."
The second example happened when -- get this -- a former fling of mine called Sunday to tell me he'd gotten engaged. It was hard enough struggling with the obligatory formalities...like finding a version of "thanks for lying to me and never buying me dinner" that translates into "congratulations." Then, just as he asked me about my life, his phone conveniently started to die. I had just enough time to utter one last "I'm so happy for you."
That translates into "I hope the ring turns her finger green."
