Cinco de Mayo, as I noted in Thursday's column, is one of many annual excuses for partying during which people don't actually know what they're celebrating.
Actually, it marks Mexico's victory over France in an 1862 battle. But if you're asked, a simple "something about Mexico" will suffice. Expect female party goers to use it as another excuse to dress like sluts, a tendency that applies to every holiday.
Also, don't hesitate to indulge in the plethora of umbrella-clad margaritas. Even if you're wearing a wife beater and requesting White Zombie songs.
You'll find a party at pretty much any area bar, but here are a few likely standouts:
*Best Way to Satisfy Your Inner Pinballer: Downtown's $10 bar crawl. One cover charge gets you into Oxygen, Big City Club, Daileys, The Vault and The Uptown Tap...plus food specials.
*Best Alcoholic Simulation of the United Nations: Scruffy Murphys, the downtown Irish pub that will host a Cinco de Mayo party with margarita specials and a performance by Jaded Soul.
*Best Place to Hide a Bad Dye Job: Memory Lane, where you can win $100 in a "Best Sombrero" contest. Drink specials are also included.
*Best Place to Experiment with Some Dirty Spanish: Fiesta Columbus, the carnival at the Columbus Civic Center. I went Thursday night, and let's just say the carnies didn't disappoint. At all.
*Best Place to Pretend You're Charo: Locos Amigos Cantina on Broadway, where five-piece Latin band Son Tropical will entertain 7:30-10:30 p.m. At 11 p.m., you can indulge in salsa and merengue dancing.
*Best Place to Watch a Stupid Decision: The Shanty Shack, where in addition to food and drink specials, you can count on a jalapeno-eating contest. Drunk people. Hot peppers. Does life get any better?
TGIF.
